Completely Paralysed The Home Coming
by ichkak
Summary: AizenxIchigo ByakuyaxIchigo M rating sex/violence/rape/mpreg. Ichigo deals with life as a science experiment and the truma that it causes. Was muddled as a back and forth fic, but now runs in order.
1. Aizen's grip

Warnings – Language, non-consensual, MPreg with a difference, Weird author's sense of humour!!

This story is now complete and resubmitted in order as previous is dipped from past to future and back again. Now beginning bit by bit to replace how it was now that I can put it all in order.

'Hello' thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

The Future…

Ichigo screamed at the worst pain he'd ever felt. They could slice him up all they wanted, stab him with their various needles, or even fuck him to oblivion, he didn't care. This pain was unbearable; it scared him to his core as he endured the seeming endless hours.

"Listen to me just breathe pant pant pant right?" The flash of pink hair was particularly irritating today. What nerves Ichigo had, were certainly snapped now.

"Just get this….owwwww…..damn thing out of me….I'll kill that fucking Aizen!...Aggghhhh…."

Well technically Aizen fucking him to oblivion is how he arrived at this. One of Aizen's little science projects. A little science project that never seemed to give Aizen any pain or suffering just the poor sods that it was inflicted upon. In this case Kurosaki Ichigo.

Aizen stood watching the events on his monitors. Seeing his little Ichigo in pain brought a curious emotion out in him. Maybe that was because Ichigo was about to give birth to his child; maybe not.

"Agggghhhhh…Get it OUT!" Ichigo screamed clenching the pink hair Espada with murderous intent. His finger nails clenched into the mans arms as firmly as the pain bearing down inside his back passage consumed his being. There was only one focus and that was the pain.

The Past…Err Further back than the one after this one! 

Nemu did not avoid the blow that was coming right for her. It was pointless. She knew her father was angry by his raving as he marched thought the labs of 12th Division towards her. Several lesser subordinates had already been slapped down by the irate captain. Mayuri Kurotsuchi slashed his hand harshly across is artificial daughters face.

"Missing! Tell me how you can explain that! How is it that vials of my Ashisogi Jizō poison are missing!"

The Past…

Ichigo slept taking advantage of a Hollow free night. With the vast amount that seemed to have surrounded him recently it was strange to have a night where nothing seemed to be happening. Even his dad had gone to bed instead of nursing his poster of his wife. That's how totally calm – boring – this evening was.

With a severely restrained retsui, and the promise of a more… entertaining evening… a rip appeared in Ichigo's bedroom. Not a large one, this didn't promise a Menos. It was just large enough for one tall brunette to step through.

Aizen looked around the room. His cool glaze took in the neat, orderly books. A school bag prepared for tomorrow. A desk with completed homework lying with a lazy pencil across it. Green curtains shutting out the bright moon and finally one blue and white bed with a large unmoving bulge.

The orange messy mop laid on the pillow facing him and the face was peaceful, without its scowl, if that was possible. The naked chest exposed to the dark nights air. Hands laid flat beneath a cheek.

Aizen watched mesmerised by the rise and fall of the chest. That beautiful coloured skin with its silvery threads of scars. One of them must be his scar. The scar that marked him the day they met. The day he looked into the eyes of this boy and realised the potential strength this kid would have once he reached Soul Society the appropriate way. By dying in his real body.

But that would not be his doing.

He slid his hands into his pocket and unsheathed a syringe needle. A squirt of the liquid was pressed into the air before Aizen looked back at his prize.

One precautionary measure and a flick of his free hand sealed a retsui bracelet around one wrist. Ichigo stirred enough to roll onto his back, but didn't wake.

In one swift motion, another precautionary measure and a hand cupped the mouth as the needle hit its mark on the bare shoulder.

Ichigo's eyes flew open startled and his cry of surprise ceased at his lips unable to pass the firm pressure on his mouth. His eyes darted in the darkness to the man now straddling his form, rendering his struggle for escape useless.

"Good evening." The cool voice smiled at him.

Ichigo shifted his head side to side in an attempt to free the hand. "Don't struggle Ichigo-kun. The effects of this will soon become noticeable." He waved the syringe. "Now if I let go, do you promise not to call out?" The boy growled. "Then you won't know what I've just injected into you will you? I'm sure you want to know." Wary eyes glared up at him and the scowl deepened. "Shall we try that again? Do you promise?" Aizen smiled at the nod and released his hand.

"What was it!" Ichigo tried to wriggle his shoulders to free his arms from under Aizen's knees but he was pinned tight.

"You can thank the genius that is Mayuri Kurotsuchi for this. Its the poison from his Zanpakutō, Ashisogi Jizō. It renders the victim helpless and completely paralysed. A curious side effect, however that you don't in fact loose the ability of feeling. So this should be quite a rewarding night."

Ichigo's face strained and he groaned with the effort of trying to move, wriggle anything, but nothing happened.

Aizen smiled satisfied. "It seems to be working just fine." He reached into another pocked and pulled out another syringe. "Now this one, is slightly different. My rather less of a genius scientist Szayel Aporro Granz assures me, that this will take much longer to take affect."

"Ahh." Ichigo hated needles at the best of times, usually when they were in the hands of his father being wielded around as he rambled in his insanity however may have something to do with it.

The smile on Aizen's face seemed more sinister today and Ichigo hoped what ever was on this sick guys mind would be over quickly.

'What's he done to me?' He called out to his mind not daring to disappear into his inner world, choosing to keep an eye, albeit a useless one, on Aizen.

'**Other than what he's told you we aren't sure yet**.' It was the normally reassuring voice of Zangetsu. '**He's suppressing your power with one of those bracelets**."

"What are you trying to do to me?" He spat at the man.

"Time is an amazing thing. Some revelations will happen sooner than others. But patience is something we have to accept for the ultimate designs."

"I'm not going to that damn shit hole with you!"

"Oh really? If that was my intention, do you think you would still be here…" He slid a finger down the bare chest passing over a nipple causing Ichigo to widen his eyes in horror. "…in your bed?"

"GET OFF ME!" His anger was at full rage now. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

"No the question should be Ichigo-kun, who the hell do you think _you_ are? Especially seeing as you are a little vulnerable right now?"

"Agghhhh!" A surge of pain raged around Ichigo's insides and if he could have Ichigo would have curled up into a ball, but all he could do was screw up his eyes and grimace. Aizen's hand covered his taught mouth again.

"And you are getting a little noisy." He smirked at the evidence that this second injection was working just as Szayel had predicted. "The pain will pass in a couple of days."

The signs of pain were music to the aspiring God's ears. He was creating a perfect specimen and this vessel was making the sounds of such erotic music. He could feel his erection twitching in his undergarments. His own breathing deepen and his heart race faster. This helpless creature was as beautiful to him as any classic painting he had collected.

Ever one to prepare for every eventuality, Aizen pushed a wad of gagging fabric into the groaning mouth. It didn't stifle all the sounds, that would be disappointing. Aizen wanted to hear some of the whimpers and cries.

He had perfected this type of fabric during his experiments/engagements with Gin. This allowed the perfect levels of sound to filter through and leave him with the sound he devoured during their most intimate moments.

Aizen's fingers traced the lines of Ichigo's collar bones. The teen looked at him his face mixed with confusion and pain. The hands trailed down the firm torso enjoying the feel of the shuddering pained muscles. His fingers lingering on the scars especially that on his side where Aizen's sword almost cut him in half, giving a low level amused laugh as the sounds of what must have been swear words tried to make their way out of the boys mouth.

Sliding himself down the youth's legs, he slid the sheets down amidst louder cries of protest. Aizen's eyes drifted to the hips and slow slung pyjama bottoms. He felt a lurch of lust at imagining what lay beneath the cotton fabric. His hand drifted over the centre section, sensing the soft length underneath pass under his palm. His fingers gripped the flaccid organ, rewarded with a higher increase in noise from the kid.

Ichigo swore and cursed. He fought frantically to make his immobile body move to stop this, what ever this was going to be. Surely not what he dreaded. Surely not. _Please not that._

It was. It most defiantly was what he dreaded. The hands slid to his waist band and tugged at the elastic, flicking it under the lush buttocks and along the long lithe legs.

Anticipation rose inside the older man, he licked his lips wanting to devour this beautiful body beneath him. He unhooked his calling trembling penis.

Ichigo cried out in a scared whimper, desperately trying to beg for this not to happen for something, someone to rescue him. That damn bracelet, just as Aizen planned, meant that his power surges would go unnoticed by anyone who could help. His eyes were as wide as possible, his heart beating frantically, and his screams were unheeded. The stomach pains were severe and cramping badly, his stressed tensed body aggravating what ever was happening inside him. But Ichigo could only think of the impending humiliation as Aizen picked his limp useless legs up and placed them on his shoulders.

Aizen was an adrenaline fuelled junkie. High on the sound coming frantically from Ichigo. He didn't care tonight about the boys needs, he only wanted to satisfy himself. Waiting for tonight had been a strange endurance task for him. He was used to waiting, but for this, it had almost been unbearable. If it was not for Gin, this would have been a short two minute disappointing occurrence. But because Gin had given him stress relieving _oral therapy_ before he set out, he knew he had time on his side and the night was young.

Tears sprang forth accompanied by a huge mortified scream, much to Aizen's pleasure, as he pressed firmly into the unforgiving tense muscle that nestled between the pert buttocks.

Aizen pressed his thumbs harshly into the back of Ichigo's knees keeping them firmly in place as he pressed on, thrust after thrust. The teens cries of discomfort, pain, humiliation and fully fledged fear was the perfect song that Aizen had hoped to hear. Yells, shrieks and screams lead to whimpers, sobs and cries, and ultimately gave way to a pathetic snivel by the time Aizen's body jerked its awesome climax into the unyielding cavern.

The perfect endurance fuck.

Totally degraded Ichigo made no sound as the man pulled free, wiped his blood stained penis on the sheets, and covered the boy up.

He closed his eyes as the tears fell silently.

"I proved my point I hope Ichigo-Kun, that I can claim you where ever I want to. Don't try to run from this or I will take you back to my hell hole as you call it." Aizen bent and placed a soft kiss on the boy's lips.

Ichigo screwed his eyes up tight wishing he could move away and crawl into a hole somewhere. Wishing he could turn back time and make this never happen.

The pain in his stomach gripped him and he groaned.

"You best rest up for a couple of days. I'll be back to check up on you. Be thankful that I am being merciful and letting you stay with your family and friends." He opened a rip, turned once to remove the bracelet and gag and stepped silently away.

The Past Somewhere in a Large Veeerrrryyyyy Large White Castle… 

"Successful mission?" Szayel asked as Aizen graced the dining hall and choose, to his surprise, to sit next to him.

"It went to plan. But I would like you to tell me about that injection again."

"It is a powerful hormonal injection, but with the ability to grow the female organs. Well as close to growing them at least. The womb on my test subject seemed to connect to the colon rather than make a female virginal opening. It's not a precise art yet. My subjects required two injections, two days apart. The pain seemed to be the only side affect I noticed which is unsurprising. The body is rapidly forcing the womb and ovaries to grow in a form not designed to take them. Your subject will be ready to carry an embryo within the month."

"And the pregnancy?"

"I have not had chance to get a subject to the point of birth yet. They miscarry early with only the one subject so far reaching the later months. I have isolated them and enforced complete rest from 6 months. I did express that my research was not complete."

The Morning After…

"Daaaadddd." Goat face looked up at his daughter Yuzu, already ready for school but emptying the washing machine. "Did you put Ichigo's sheets in last night?" She frowned, she knew she hadn't done it and no one else usually helped her with the laundry.

"Ahh my delightful daughter. No daddy didn't." He smiled his wide smile and wondered at the strange question.

"Er….There seems to be blood still on them. What did he do to himself this time?" Yuzu held the sheet aloft and Isshin looked at the pale stain of blood that had refused to wash away.

Isshin sighed. _Was Ichigo really cut out to be a shingigami; he certainly got hurt a lot? Actually, where was Ichigo?_

Isshin trampled the bedroom door down; he'd sussed the knack of popping the hinge just right that he wouldn't have to keep replacing doors by now.

"Ahh here I come son of mine! It is daddy ready to greet you with a morning kiss!"

He prepared the foot that Ichigo would certainly force between his eyes and dodged the blow that didn't come. He hesitated. "Son of mine…" He started to drone on again and stopped as his eyes adjusted to the darkened room with its curtains still closed. His boy had not even dragged himself from his bed. This was unusual.

Ichigo shook and shivered in his bed. His brow seemed to be alight and Isshin frowned at the way he remained curled in a ball gripping his stomach.

"Go away." He groaned.

"Don't forget I am a super hero doctor ready to take away all your ailments!" The man said in his enthusiastic cheery voice as he leaned over the bed.

"Please… Go away." Ichigo pulled the sheets further over himself.

"Ichigo?" He father sat on the edge of the bed and pulled a thermometer from his doctor's jacket and pressed it into the teen's mouth. "Did you over eat Yuzu's pudding?" He frowned at the reading. "Come let daddy examine the pain." _Let daddy see where those Hollows cut you up this time._

With all his might resisting a fight to stop his father or anyone to touching him, Ichigo rolled onto his back. The first injection seemed to take hours to wear off before either he or Hichigo could move, but thanks to his for once helpful Hollow he made it to the shower to wash and wash and wash, to rid himself of the vile smell. Even now, though he had a nagging fear that the smell of Aizen still lingered.

His fathers probing hands pressed down on his abdomen and watched as Ichigo yelped nearer to his pubic bone. With all the embarrassing questions of his bowel movements, Ichigo was hoping his dad would be able to tell him what Aizen did with that second injection.

Isshin shrugged. _No_ _fresh wound, no bruises and defiantly no blood? Strange_. _Maybe for once, he is genuinely ill? _"I'll send off some bloods." Had it been to the side, he could have said it was an appendix. As it stood, his only conclusion was a twisted colon, pained as he was, Ichigo wasn't pained enough for that. "Daddy and doctor's orders are to get some sleep."

"If only." The grimacing teen replied.

Two Days Later…

Karin knew her brother was faking it to get off school. She stormed open the bedroom door and looked at him sitting in the chair at his desk. Mind you if he was faking it, he wouldn't surely have fallen asleep sitting there like that would he? One hand gripping at his stomach the other resting under his head.

"Oi!" She jabbed him in the side and jumped back surprised as he woke with an anguished cry.

"No!"

"Hey, idiot it's me!" She tutted.

"Oh…Karin." He looked at her with clear relief. "What'd you wake me for? I'm sick!"

"So get into bed!" She snorted.

"What d'you want?" He scowled moving in a semi hunched way onto the bed.

"Yuzu and I are going to school, Dad's in the clinic. He said he'd check on you later."

"That all?"

"Yeah. Why want a medal?" She tutted leaving him.

He watched her leave and sighed heavily. He gripped his stomach and groaned. Two days he'd been stuck here and the pains weren't getting any easier. At least he hadn't had another visit. At least Aiz…

The rip appeared before Ichigo's wide eyes and he scrambled backward up his bed as Aizen stepped out smiling.

"Fuck off, Fuck right off!" Ichigo spat angrily as the man pulled a syringe from his pocket.

"Is that anyway to greet me?" An eyebrow rose. "Me your master?"

"You think I'd bow down to you!" Ichigo barely got the words out of his mouth when a flick of Aizen's fingers saw the bracelet appear on his wrist. Aizen raised his retsui until Ichigo tumbled forward on the bed gasping for breath and feeling intensely sick.

The needle pricked into his shoulder amidst curses from the boy.

Aizen withdrew the pressure and looked smugly at the angry face that stared back at him. "You are just a fuck toy. A 'thing' I use to get what I want. Don't think above your station boy." A hand backhanded him off the bed and Ichigo lay like a limp rag doll as the drug took effect. His face burned with the hand print and he bit his lip, holding in his feelings as the dread began to rise.

Two large strong hands reached down and clasped him roughly. He whimpered at the pain as his tugged hair took his weight until he was pushed face down into his mattress, half his body resting on the floor.

His pyjama's tore with a loud rip from his agonised form.

"Please…no…not again."

"Ahh. What's up my little pet?" Aizen stroked a shoulder with tender pressure.

"Please don't." The tenderness was as frightening as the pain and Ichigo could feel the tears already falling down his cheeks. It wasn't that he didn't like pain, he knew in his fight against Aizen and his cronies he would suffer huge amounts of pain; but like this, so helpless, so violated…it was horrific.

"I don't think I care what you want." Aizen pulled the second syringe out and stabbed it into a beautiful rounded buttock.

"Ahhhhh….What is that? What does it do?"

"It merely makes your more suitable for my needs." The man said dryly. He wasn't going to give more information_. '_The sweet suffering this boy must be going through is wonderful. How many hours has he laid awake waiting for me to return? How many times as he thought about how I felt inside him? This was such a divine way to ruin him. Divine, now that just describes what I am looking at.'

Ichigo was helpless to respond to the kisses that fell down the back of his neck. Nor could he stop the gag from being pressed into his mouth, or the hand that cracked down on his back and buttocks over and over.

He could feel his skin turning into a burning sea of inflamed tension. Whimpers and cries came rushing from him, as the fresh hormones tore at his intestines. Aizen seemed fuelled by each sound and whimper. The touches down his arms, torso and buttocks were becoming increasingly fervent.

Aizen rolled him over, his eyes soaking up the sculptured, toned body. He adored each bulge of the boy's muscles, especially as they rippled as he bit or licked them. The body shivered involuntarily from the inner changes. The whimpers were just as involuntary. Just as delicious. Aizen felt his arousal rise and rise more, with each passing minute until he cupped the tactile testicles and gave a firm squeeze. The sound that rose from the gag was worthy of his seed spilling already without attention and Aizen paused panting as he calmed himself. The fact that this was his mortal enemy who'd wipe him off the face of existence given enough chance and was now a pitiful whimpering lump of flesh, made him cherish and savour every single second.

His mouth curled into the most sinister smile Ichigo had yet seen and he gulped with fear as Aizen captured his limp member in his mouth and began to tease and stimulate it. Ichigo shook his head, trying to say no. Repeating it over and over, as huge fat tears flooded down his face soaking into his hair and pillow. He cried out in total embarrassment as he shot into Aizen's mouth panting and screwing his eyes up tightly in shame. Aizen laughed at him.

"What a pathetic little creature you are." He breathed into Ichigo's ear.

One firm flip and Ichigo was on his stomach. Each large hand prized a buttock apart and Aizen spat onto the bud waiting for him. His more than ready erection, slid with some need for force into the intolerant ring of muscles. One merciless thrust rammed into the spoilt flesh and lead to another. Over and over, with increasing vigour, Aizen pushed harder and harder. The boy beneath him screamed until his voice was too sore to allow any more sounds. Finally Aizen inhaled sharply as he climaxed and let himself fall onto Ichigo quivering as his climax ridden body calmed.

Again, he wiped himself on the sheet and tucked himself in, as he savoured the last look at the divine sight below him. Blood began to trickle in one delicate trail down between the boy's legs. Aizen smiled and rolled the boy over. He placed him neatly in the bed, covered him over and opened the rip. He looked at the frozen disgusted face and bent to kiss the soft red cheek.

"Until next time." The bracelet vanished off his wrist, the gag from his mouth and Aizen shut the rip behind him.

Isshin's stomach rumbled, he wandered into the kitchen and looked at the washing machine. 'Oh don't say the damn thing has gone wrong? It can't be still on the wash cycle from Yuzu putting it on before school?' He stared at the dials but that all seemed to be in order. His ears pricked up at the sounds of movement from the lounge and he stood to see Ichigo lying on the sofa wrapped in a duvet minus its cover.

"You okay?" Isshin asked walking around the front of his son. Instantly he could see that the shivering had returned and he was burning up. "Bed."

"Not up there." He said his eyes flashing with something Isshin didn't understand.

"Kay…The clinic where I can keep an eye on you?" The boy nodded. Better that than where Aizen had been. "Come on." He flipped the bedding open and decided that just watching Ichigo get up, wasn't enough. His shaking legs didn't seem strong enough to hold him and Isshin put an arm around his waist.

Ichigo, felt drawn to his dad, drawn to his care and strength; the life long promise of protection.

Isshin was surprised by the arm that came and hugged him. A mixture of emotions ran through him as he hugged his son back. Surprise and joy that Ichigo turned to him. Surprise and sadness that he felt ill enough to need comfort. He felt his shirt dampen at fresh tears and he frowned, but kept his hold around the teens back.

Ichigo's body was rampant with hormones it didn't understand. The tears he cried came of their own accord, as his pain wracked stomach reinforced Aizen's words. He was pathetic. His reaction was pathetic, his body was pathetic, and his life was pathetic.

A pathetic infant that needed his father to put him to bed in the clinic, to sit there with him rubbing his back and waiting with him until he fell asleep.

Isshin sat in his clinic office mulling over some medical books. Just what was going on inside his son? That tender spot seemed to show a lump now, a lump that shouldn't be there. Of course had Isshin thought about this being a female patient he might have realised he was feeling a uterus. But, as his son was clearly male, always had been and wasn't likely to change, that conclusion hadn't appeared. That lump of course could only be sinister. The blood test should show if anything needed further investigation.

Isshin rubbed the bridge of his nose and went back to stand at the curtain surrounding Ichigo's bed and watched him sleep. It was not a peaceful sleep, his knees were thrust tightly up to his chest and the fever was as strong as before.

The Present…

Renji grasped Ichigo by the collar and looked at the scratches that ran down the side of his face, he didn't seem to remember going after a Hollow. But Ichigo seemed to turn up with odd injuries every day or so. Renji it seemed had been worried for quite some time about him, just odd little things that didn't add up. He was worried enough to turn up at school himself in uniform. "Who did this to you?"

"Just drop it okay!" Ichigo shoved Renji off and stalked along the corridor. He didn't much feel like having a conversation and had been idling behind everyone else deep in his own thoughts. This wasn't something he was going to talk to Renji about.

"No I want to know what's going on with you." Renji stood blocking his path with that I want to beat you into a pulp if I don't get my way look.

"I said drop it!" Ichigo gritted his teeth and gave his best scowl. Walking through the school corridors was not the place to discuss this.

"Abarai is right Kurosaki; you have not been your self." Ichigo turned his eyes towards that Quincy idiot and scowled deeper for his help.

"Errmm Kurosaki-kun… You know that we'd help, and erm…"

"Inoue you can't help. No one can."

"Look what ever Ichigo, there's no Hollows right now so it's safe to talk." Renji began to steer him towards the class room. But Ichigo wasn't having any of it. He was sick of this pretence of normalcy. Sick of everything in fact. He shoved Renji with force into Chad's bulk. Safe was a word that didn't apply in his life anymore. The trigger word for his burst of emotions.

"You all think you're safe! You all think that you can parade around with your Zanpakutō's and fight him off. Well I'll tell you, you're not safe, not here, not in Seireitei. If Aizen wants you, he'll appear right where he wants. He'll appear in your god damn room AND DO WHAT THE FUCK HE LIKES!"

"Ichigo!" His friends all called out in unison.

"AIZEN RAPES ME! HAPPY NOW!" Suddenly aware that he had shouted that out in the middle of the school and everyone was looking at him. Ichigo looked at Renji with his pain and humiliation so obvious. "Now leave me the fuck alone." He ran from the building shoving everyone out of his way, tears beginning to fall down his face.

Ichigo _finally_ stopped running blindly onwards, _finally_ stumbling to a halt. He fell panting heavily onto to all fours, the tears now falling in sobs and dripping onto the scrubby grass beneath him. He sorely needed someone right now, someone on his side and the void that his mother had left, felt suddenly as large and raw as ever. No one was going to understand what he was feeling. No one was going to be able to help him.

He slumped down on the grass lying on his side, his eyes looking up into the gray blanket of cloud above, but he wasn't looking at anything. His breathing gradually slowed. Eyelids became heavy. Sleep came.

Yesterday…

Aizen stepped back into the rip and into his own room. His smile was wide as he walked into his shower. The conception confirmed. Ichigo, still unaware, was most defiantly expecting. That was such a double reason to celebrate. Aizen had achieved impregnation and enjoyed total submission from the boy.

If he was honest, Aizen had been momentarily surprised by the total lack of response from Ichigo when he stepped into the teen's bedroom. He had been compliant. Accepting of the situation that he was about to have sex. He had jerked himself as instructed, taken Aizen without complaint and needed no injection.

Gin passed Aizen's door and paused. _Laughter? Aizen laughing?_

Back to the Present…

Ichigo woke feeling comfortable. Was he still lying where he'd run to? His head was resting somewhere soft. He could feel the presence of someone close by, their warmth and hold meant support and caring. Ichigo slowly opened his eyes. The now vibrant sky silhouetting the figure who's lap his head was resting on.

"You idiot." The soft voice spoke and a hand patted his chest as it held him. "You know you always come here when you're upset. You're quite predictable"

"I said leave me alone." He sat pulling out of the hold and rubbing his tear crusted eyes.

"If you wanted to be alone you wouldn't have come to the where your mum died." Tatsuki watched him draw his knees up and look out at the river. "That was some speech back there…The school phoned your dad." His face shot round to look at her.

"I promised him I'd take you home."

Ichigo groaned and put his head on his knees.

Tatsuki let her longest standing friend sit quietly for a moment. "When did it happen?"

"When doesn't it happen?" He replied quietly feeling fresh tears forming, which he tried to quickly wipe away.

"Ichigo, I've seen you cry more times than any one. Since you were four and I beat you in the dojo." She smiled ruffling his hair and he looked to her with a teary nod. "I don't think one more time is going to hurt." She yanked him by his collar into her embrace wrapping her arms around him. Ichigo let his arms unfold and slid them around her waist. All thoughts of being the mighty protector were shoved firmly to the back of his mind. He ached for this, the one living sole who knew him better than himself and he was willing to let her protect him right now. Her head rested on top of his and he felt her warm breath sooth down his neck.

Ichigo woke and yawned. He looked around the pink room with a confused frown.

"Hi. My mum called your dad, you can stay here tonight."

"Tonight?" He sat up and looked out the window at the darkening sky. "I must have slept for hours."

"I guess you're not getting much sleep at home?"

"No, not a lot." He stretched. "I never figured your room would be pink!" He smiled.

"You tell anyone and your dead meat!" She laughed back.

His smile disappeared as he looked intently at her. "Thanks." She moved from the desk chair and sat next to him, nudging his arm with her shoulder.

"What are friends for hey? You know we'd all follow you to the end of eternity."

"In my case that might be closer than anyone knows."

"Ichi!" She looked at him shaking her head. "I won't let that happen to you." He looked at her with a half hearted smile and shrugged. It didn't seem to him that the judo expert would stand a chance against a man like Aizen. But the words were comforting none the less. He laid his head on her shoulder and felt her hand reach around to pat his cheek. "You mean to world to me. I'll do everything I can. I mean that."

Their eyes locked. Their emotions and concerns laid bare for each other to read. So close together unlike ever before, Ichigo admired her beautiful face, as if he was seeing it for the first time. She wasn't at all boyish as he'd thought in the past. The wisps of hair framed her face and accentuated her deep rich chocolate brown eyes. Ichigo lifted his head from her shoulder and rubbed his nose against hers.

Their lips touched gently together and both smiled widely.

"Ichi." She breathed quietly.

"Suki." He whispered back pressing his mouth against hers again. His arms reached around her and drew her closer. Time froze. The innocent pressing of lips and realisation of their intent seemed to hold time still right at that moment. A completeness filled Ichigo, warming him from inside and radiating to every part of his body and soul.

The Following Morning…

"Ichigo?" Tatsuki held his hand firmly as they stood at the school gates. He's halted just outside the gates and stared up at the large imposing building.

"Everyone is going to stare."

"Yeah, because we're holding hands and we're going to suck each others faces off!" she laughed and tugged him gently inside the threshold.

"I hate everyone staring."

"Come on. You don't know how they're going to react when you just stand here. The others are going to be waiting." She watched him scowl and knew what was running through his mind. What was worse, the whole school muttering or his friends, who were no doubt going to want to know all the details? She hadn't got much out of him last night either. The fact she had watched him from the sidelines recently, slowly close up the shutters on his friends. He'd taken the back seat in everything that happened at school. He'd sit at lunch time quietly eating, but not getting drawn into the conversation or falling asleep against the railings.

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to. You can tell everyone to rack-off and I'll back you up. It isn't just Ichigo anymore, its Ichigo and Tatsuki. We're a shit hot team buster! We're the IT team!" She punched his arm and he laughed. "Ready?"

"I guess now you put it like that." She bristled with glee as he bent his head down to place a kiss on her lips.

"Whoa! What the hell are you two doing?" Renji's gruff voice came from behind them. "Another secret you've been hiding?"

"No you dumb arse!" Ichigo slapped Renji around the head.

"Hey, I think I preferred you suicidal." Renji said rubbing the side of his head.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." He turned at the sound of his name and looked at his teacher. "Your father is with the principle."

5 Minutes Later…

Ichigo stood in the lion's den. His father sitting one side of the desk and the principle the other. His chest had restricted to the point he didn't think he could form words. He clenched his hands tightly beside him.

"And?" The principle said in a demanding tone.

"You think I'm going to say anything here? Now?" He looked at his dad.

"Young man, you were heard shouting in the school hallway and then proceeded to run out of the school. I think that an explanation is required."

"Then you know why I ran out. I don't need to explain anything."

"Ichigo." He dad stood and pulled another chair forward and tapped the seat.

"No, why are you here? Why are you her now dad?"

"Because when I called to enquire, your father had not seen you. Your attendance at best could be described at inadequate."

"If my son is having problems, I think I should be the one to sort it out." Isshin interrupted any further lectures from the principle and looked to Ichigo who sat suddenly looking decidedly green. "You alright?"

Ichigo looked at his father wide eyes and stood panicked. His hand flew to his mouth and he ran forward to the waste paper basket and heaved his guts inside it.

"Mr Kurosaki. I would appreciate you taking your son home again." He grimaced as he spoke loudly over the sound of retching. He stood avoiding eye contact with the goo that seemed to have missed his bin and stood by the open window where the air was less pungent. "Now, Mr. Kurosaki if you don't mind."

One Week Later…

Karin stood at the bathroom door banging loudly enough to wake the dead.

"Ichigo, I've got to get ready for school! Are you coming out?"

"Karin, my sweet hearted little girl, let daddy, get that door for you!" He stood food poised to kick the door. Karin looked at her father with a look of disgust, firstly she didn't really want to see her brother half naked and secondly that was definitely the sound of puking coming from the bathroom.

"Dad? Why's he still sick?" That concerned voice didn't sound like Karin and Isshin put his leg down and frowned.

"Ichigo." The manly knock behind him could only be his father. Ichigo knelt beside the toilet, knowing that he wasn't quite done yet. "Come out, I want to take you to the clinic."

"Minute." Ichigo managed to say, before he retched again, hopefully for the last time.

_**Hey bust-a-guts!**_ Ichigo groaned as he opened his eyes in the blue cityscape of his inner world. That irritating presence of his Hollow appeared only a hairs breath in front of him.

'Not right now bastard.' Ichigo grabbed him roughly by the collar.

_**Look you shit bag! Its freezing cold here, can you feel it? Get your arse out that door before my knackers freeze and that kid of yours is born**_. The Hollow just seemed to stand there with his hands in his pockets and that stupid grin on his face.

'Hahaha. Yeah. Yeah. Will you shut up with the frigging kid jokes. I'm a guy, what part of I can't get pregnant don't you understand?' Ichigo pushed the Hollow away and made to leave.

_**The part that says you dumb shit have you forgotten what Aizen did to you? Get that sorry excuse of a backside to the clinic. Your old man will tell you.**_

Ichigo paused. _God why did that sound so plausible? '_Will you shut up and leave me alone if I go?'

_**Sure. You know me, ever obedient. **_The shrug and nonchalant posture shouted of pure sarcasm and Ichigo shook his head.

'Yeah right.'

**Ichigo, I think its time you told your father what has been happening.** The fluttering of the tatty edged robes caught Ichigo's eyes and he turned to see Old Man Zangetsu standing on his perch.

'Don't go there, we spoke about this already.'

**So you want Aizen to carry on visiting?**

_**Course he does, he loves it. See the way he frigging **__cums __**every time. Yeah Ichigo, you love Aizen's visits don't you!**_

'Don't you fucking dare say that to me!' Ichigo yelled at the smirking face before him.

_**Or what? Come on, the man has you licked. He has you pissing in your pants with fear. Tell your dad or get some balls and fight the man!**_


	2. Retreat to Soul Society

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

The Kurosaki Clinic…

"…So, your telling me that Aizen injected something into you? That's why you had the stomach pains?" Isshin looked at his son warily.

Still unsure as to why his dad was talking about Aizen in the familiar, he nodded.

"Right. That swelling I found…I think I want to take another look." Isshin watched Ichigo remove his t-shirt and lay compliantly on the examination table. _The kid must be worried to or else he'd be kicking up a storm. _"Its kept growing?" The boy nods.

_**You ready for this King?**_

Ichigo squirmed at the feel of his father's hands pressing down firmly on his abdomen as Hichigo seemed rather too _nice_ for Ichigo's liking.

_If this is just your freaking idea of a good joke. I tell you I'm going to come in there a kick your arse so hard if my dad stands here and wets himself laughing at me!_

"Ichigo…" His dad looked at the pee drenched stick which confirmed to his seriously confused brain that something unnatural was occurring. This just defied all medical science. His son was defiantly his son. This wasn't some illusion. The results were also true and couldn't be written off, he knew that, he'd tested and tested and tested again. _What the hell had the man done to his only son? _"I…Er…"

"Dad just tell me!" Ichigo swung his legs off the bed and scowled at his father.

"I'm going to be a grandfather." Isshin said passing out.

_**Told you didn't I! Didn't I tell him old man!**_

**You did.**

"Shit, shit. Holy mother f...shit shit shit!" Ichigo clenched clumps of his hair. "No no no no no no no. I am not having Aizen's kid. NO I am NOT!" Ichigo mumbled. "No way. NO...NO."

_**Hey King. Settle down. Technically, it's your kid too you know.**_

'Shut up, shut the f... up! My panic attack, my reason. Right. Where are you, I'm coming to knock the shit out of you!'

_**Hey I didn't get you up the duff it's not my fault! Why are you picking on me?!**_

**Actually Ichigo. I don't think fighting is a good idea.**

_**Yeah listen to the old man he's right you know!**_

'No fighting is a perfect idea!'

**Well 1 - You're pregnant and 2 - Do you think you should help your father; he's out cold still on the floor?**

And that was it. Ichigo stood watching his father recover after he's sat him on the bed. His mouth just seemed to pour out everything that had been happening to him, he was almost relieved that his brain didn't have to think, the mouth was doing that for him.

It was a long sorry tale and Isshin stood and gave Ichigo strong hug. The weird thing again was, Ichigo didn't mind.

Again, he felt that hugging his dad…was something he wanted.

Goat face, the insane, joker in the pack. The guy that held the family together and kept them together. The guy that insisted they do fun things as a family. The guy that was always there. His dad.

The Urahara Shoten…

Urahara Kisuke felt rather odd. For once he didn't know what was going on and what was going on seemed rather odd. Not knowing was rather odd. No one telling him was just bloody irritating.

He looked at the father and son. The requested portal opened and dutifully the hell butterfly appeared as if Soul Society were expecting visitors. Isshin hadn't come to him to pass on any messages. Odd.

"Thanks for looking after our bodies."

"Yes, yes its all fine you know. Part of the service I guess. And I'll happily give your girls a meal to remember!" The sandal hat man smiled behind his fan. "So holiday? Work? A calling?" He smiled hoping for a response. "You look peaky Ichigo-kun, maybe you need to get a tan whilst your there! Ha ha ha?"

"See you later." Isshin grabbed Ichigo by the shoulder and pulled the reluctant boy into the gate.

Two Hours Later…

Unohana looked at the boy and regretted using a truth serum. At first she had used it only to get him talking, as he seemed very reluctant despite his father's insistence that he should. Now looking at how distressed the boy was, she realised why the father seemed so angry at the use of the drug. Maybe she should consider letting Isshin out of the cells if he'd calmed down? Maybe she should run some tests to see if the child was affected by the drugs? Maybe she should stop this guilt trip and get on with her job!

"It's alright Ichigo. Aizen will not be coming here to find you. If I place this on you…" He paled visibly at the reiatsu bracelet in her hands. "Ahh, you said he used this on you?" He nodded his eyes glued to it. "Well, think of it as your now using it against him. With this on, he won't be able to sense where you are?" That seemed to be the right suggestion and he reached silently forward for it and placed it on his wrist.

Retsu watched him a moment as he looked at the silver circle. He looked up at her with a pained expression. "Where's my dad?"

"Would you like him here?" The boy nodded looking as drained as he felt. "Just lie down and rest whilst I send someone to find him." She smiled. Her presence and calming influence seemed to be what he needed too and she sent a subordinate to fetch Isshin, choosing to sit beside the boy as he wiped his tear stained face and closed his eyes.

She placed her hands over his abdomen and released her green healing energy. "So far, everything seems fine."

"So far everything is not fine." The teen responded.

The Next Day…

"Okay. I've finished the bathroom and done the kitchen." Ichigo sat on the sofa in the lounge as Karin ran the broom into his feet. "Hey!"

"Well, don't just sit there! We've all been working hard you know."

"Karin. Leave him alone." Isshin said heaving back the bookcase he'd just cleared all the webs and chased all the spiders from.

"You keep taking his side all the time and he's just walked dust in all over this floor!"

"You look shattered." Tatsuki came in bringing some flowers and smiled at Ichigo.

"A guy with long white hair just dropped these in while I was doing the front garden, another left us a basket of fruit and there's two more boxes I think are chocolates."

"Welcome back gifts?" Isshin asked.

"No, they all said they were for Ichigo. Some woman said she would have left you some sake, but she'll come back later with something non-alcoholic."

"Matsumoto." Both father and son said smiling.

"Figures you two would remember her!" Tatsuki tutted.

"Why?" Karin asked.

"Well, she's a nice person." Ichigo grinned. "She's Tōshirō Lieutenant."

"And she's got great breasts." Isshin said earning himself a slap from both girls.

Ichigo's Room – Or Where Ichigo's Room Should Have Been…

The only evidence that this steaming, black, charred room once belonged to Ichigo was the remnants of a blue and white duvet cover that fluttered in the breeze, as the wind drifted into the large cavernous hole that was once his window/wall/roof.

Aizen stood in the sky as if he was on a tower of glass, his surging anger vented partially.

_How dare he defy me? How dare he think he can get away with this! _

There was no evidence of where he had gone, none, nothing. His presence had vanished. A growl of irritation vibrated across his larynx.

8 Hours Later…

"…and this is a hospital?" Tatsuki followed Isshin and the girls through Division 4. "Is he okay?"

"They just wanted to check him over. We can take him home from here."

"I thought you said I was staying with you for a while?"

"I have a home here. Not that I've used it these past 20 years, it'll no doubt be quite dusty!" he patted Yuzu on the head.

"Why's are we here dad?" Yuzu asked.

"When we're done cleaning, we'll have a family meeting, won't that be nice!" Isshin smiled as Karin rolled her eyes and glared at her father. Firstly that damn man in his stupid hat and now this. Her gaze swept around the area and saw a familiar face leaning against the wall.

"Tōshirō!" She said surprised.

"Huh. Oh Karin. Kurosaki Taicho"

"Hitsugaya Taicho?" The two looked at each other. "So, had your captains meeting?"

"No, we were waiting for you."

"You're my escort?"

"Huh? Forgot the way? I'm on the first watch."

"Over my son?" The nod answered him.

"Will you two cut acting so weird!" Karin kicked her dad.

Ichigo felt his heart rate increase, he saw it as if his world had turned to slow motion, the Garganta in his bedroom was opening inch by inch. He shook visibly, his brow began to sweat and his innards lurched with fear as the hand, Aizen's hand began to slide out into the open.

"NOOOO!" He screamed and jolted awake. It took him several moments to realise that there wasn't a Garganta, nor was this his room, before he placed a hand over his eyes and groaned.

The door, flew open and Tatsuki rushed over to him. Isshin, Hitsugaya and the girls watched them embrace.

_She can move damn quick when she needs to. Beat all of us._ Isshin mused.

Ichigo was getting used to this idea that Tatsuki was going to be there for him. She didn't bother with needless words or demand explanations. She just let held him until his shaking stopped. Her arms tightly held his back, her hands gently rubbing him. Her soft hair against his face and her regular calm breathing enticing his own to follow.

Isshin pulled the girls back and shut the door.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo looked at her.

"Skipping school?" She shrugged. "Finally finding out where all you lot disappear to all the time? Enjoying more chances to watch you when you sleep cos it's cute. Or just being here, because my oaf of a boyfriend needs me? Take your pick." She pecked him on the lips.

"I certainly don't feel cute."

"No? You look it." She teased him.

"How about we drop the cute and I'll save that pink bedroom information for another time?" He huffed.

"You're not in a good mood then?"

"No. I've had a shit, no make that, fucking shit day…" He scratched at his head and looked at her. "…But glad you're here."

"That Aizen dude won't get you here you know."

"That Aizen dude knows this place like the back of his hand, he was a Captain here. I told you all, there isn't anywhere safe." An awkward silence fell between them and Ichigo shifted off the bed and moved to the window.

"Did you really puke in the principles office? The school was buzzing." She chuckled standing behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She placed her head against his shoulder blade.

"Great I've given them all tons more to talk about."

"Who cares Ichi? What does it matter?"

"Try dying your hair this colour and not stand out. Try walking through the corridors and ignoring the jibes about your hair, or the goons that want to smash your face in because you look different. For once it would be nice to just be the same as everyone else and fade into the background…But no, this had to happen."

A New Home…

"Okay this is home." Isshin pushed open the front panel and shook his shoes off before stepping inside the one level home. He turned on the lights as he stepped in recalling his bachelor years here. The others warily followed him. "Lounge, Kitchen, I guess I'll have this first room, girls you can have the next. This is the bathroom and Ichigo, this can be yours and Tatsuki's." He smiled.

"But…" Ichigo went to say.

"I know it's the largest room, but you're going to need space as there are more than just you."

"I mean us." Ichigo gestured him and the surprised dark haired girl holding his hand.

"Just this time remember protection!" He winked and left them both spluttering.

"Right…" He called out heading onto the hallway. "Let's get cleaning."

"Dad, it's been a long day already." Yuzu said. "Maybe we could just shake down the beds and clean tomorrow?"

Ichigo pushed the door shut and looked at looked at Tatsuki.

"I need to tell you something."

All Time Zones. The Announcement is Made…

"Kurosaki Ichigo is pregnant." The voice could belong to anybody, but in each place, the voice sounded serious, dead-pan even, if that was your point of view on it.

Urahara's Store…

"Hahahahahahah Fantastic. Oh I can picture him in flowery dresses waddling down the road!" The fan flipped in front of the laughing face. "Oh dear me, now wonder he looked peaky. You know that technically is possible…Who is the father?" He poked the now just bulging stomach of Ichigo's empty body.

"Aizen Sōsuke."

"Oh...Ahh...That's the odd. How? I mean I know how...But..."

"Let's just say he didn't have a choice in the matter."

The fan closed, he covered the stomach over and the hat drooped.

The Captain's Meeting…

"The last time I looked it wasn't April fools day." Renji Abarai said dryly looking at his Captain and his usual emotionless response. "Who knocked him up?" Byakuya flinched at the course question, but at least Renji wasn't afraid to ask the questions the others hesitated over.

"Aizen Sōsuke."

"What! Then he's a traitor!" Soifon jumped in instantly. "How did this happen?"

"It seems it was by force." Unohana spoke.

"I'm going to need proof."

"Then you had best see my report."

The School Roof…

"With what happened to him with Aizen, I can believe anything." Ishida looked to a shocked Orihime. "I guess that means we know who the father is."

The Throne Room…

"Just as you planned hey? Congratulations Aizen-sama." Gin smiled.

The Soul Society Kurosaki Home Family Meeting…

"Fuck!"

"Karin!"

They all knelt at the dinging table, in silence. They sat handling their drinks or passing strained looks to each other, but at all costs not looking at Ichigo, who sat elbows on the table and head in his hands. To say the news was surprising was an understatement.

Karin glared at her father for telling her off.

_I mean it's not like it was a statement that was ever expected is it! You don't just get to hear that your BROTHER is pregnant. Duh! _

"Did you plan it?" Finally someone spoke. Karin was burning with so many questions, she just had to know.

"Oh yeah course I did!" Ichigo spat out angrily. "I was getting so bored of being the only kid with ginger hair at school and standing out. I thought I'd make the whole country poke their fingers at me! Hey no, why not call the international papers and let them know too! What do you think!"

"Ichigo calm down." Tatsuki pulled his arm back to make him sit back down from his animated tirade.

"Well this is just like a normal family meeting. We just need dad to go bonkers on us and we're all done."

"Karin, you are being a little unfair." Yuzu spoke up. "Ichigo, how did it happen? I mean…you are…"

"I can't do this." Ichigo stood and stormed out of the kitchen, Tatsuki running after him.

"Hey come on she's just curious." She caught his arm and he turned to face her.

"It's not her…My head just wants to explode. I just can't believe it myself, how do I tell Yuzu how it happened hey? How do you explain something like that to a kid like her? ...What the hell is going to happen to me? I don't wanna do this, I don't want to have a baby, and I'm only 16!" He sighed heavily and stepped forward into her arms. "I'm going to bed."

Yuzu looked to her father worried, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. But their family seemed so different all of a sudden and everything was a little too much for her too. He patted her hand as they unintentionally heard the conversation outside the door. Rice paper walls were not the most soundproof building material.

"So?" Karin pressed looking at her father as they heard the bedroom door close.

"There are some people out there who like to hurt others. Ichigo was forced into getting pregnant. Now, we are a family and we have to make sure he is okay." He looked at Yuzu. "We have to be strong so we can help him for a change. Okay?"

Yuzu nodded and he looked to Karin. "We have to think about what we say and not upset him. This isn't his fault Karin, don't give him a hard time."

"Are you going to be this weird all the time?"

"Daddy, has realised... Probably yeah."

Down the Corridor in the Bedroom…

Ichigo had begun to tear off his clothes with his every movement screaming anger.

"Ichigo…" Tatsuki spoke to his back, the only part of him he was willing to let her see.

"NO. Don't Ichigo me. I don't want a lecture on calming down. Just don't waste your time." He was down to his underwear and hesitated. There was just something's he couldn't think of doing. He yanked out a set of pyjamas from his unpacked bag and quickly attempted to cover up his naked form. He couldn't just be naked. He couldn't just be naked anywhere with anyone.

"I'll change in the bathroom." Her voice was quiet and he swore inwardly at upsetting her.

"Tatsuki…"

"I know you're not angry at me. Don't waste your words on pointless things I know about." She was gone and he sighed.

Why did he have to take it out on her? Today was really the worst day of his life…maybe not. No today was the culmination of many worst days. He looked at the damn bracelet that stifled his energy and made him feel weak. Was he going to have to look at that everyday and be reminded of why he was here in Seireitei? He looked up as Tatsuki came back into the room and caught himself in the mirror and the realisation dawned on him. No, the bracelet wasn't going to be the only reminder was it? …That was growing inside him; the child he carried was going to be with him every day of his life. Even if he managed to avoid Aizen for ever, as unlikely as that was, this kid was only inside him because of what happened. What he had succumbed to. What he had allowed to happen.

"What's going to happen to me?" He whispered as her hands rubbed his arms and looked at him in the mirror.

"You're going to have a baby you adore, be a great dad and live surrounded by people who love you."

"I wish that was going to be true."

"It's all possible. It's just this thick skull of yours that has the problem." He tutted as she playfully rapped her knuckles on the side of his head. "You're already surrounded by people who love you, that includes me, so you see, you're already a third the way there."

"I'm 16!"

"And I'd be a little phased if I found out I was having a kid, and I'm a girl – contrary to belief!" She laughed and was pleased a small smile. He turned and sought the warmth of her soft lips, the taste of the green tea entering his mouth and the feel of her arms wrapping around his neck. She tipped her head back to see his eyes misted with as much love as hers.

Stepping a pace back from him, she undid the tie on her nightwear and slowly revealed her breasts; wanting him more than anything to taste her delicate breast flesh and make this, her first time with him, special.

Although his eyes caressed every inch of her, admiring how beautiful she was, his arms resisting reaching to touch the sensitive skin. A fear swirled and spiralled inside him. His want and need could not override the knowledge he knew - Any desire he gave into only brought him incredible pain and humiliation.

His hands shook as he took the ties and redid the small bow. Her confused eyes darted to his and saw the pain welling up. "I can't."

"It's alright Ichigo. It's alright." She didn't give him the chance to protest, not sure that he would anymore and pulled him into her arms. He could cope with her love like this. He needed this love from her. He wouldn't protest at this, never. Not when he felt this low that his body shook with tears, not when he cried out in the night with his dreams, not when they woke in the morning still entwined, just happy to be next to each other.

That Afternoon…

"Rukia!" Tatsuki gave her school friend a hug. She let in the masses of people that seemed to follow behind her.

"Where is everyone?"

"Isshin has taken the girls to find out about some schooling. Ichigo's asleep."

"He looks so cute when he sleeps doesn't he!" Rukia laughed with Tatsuki.

"Oh let me see!" Matsumoto whined as the men filed into the kitchen to find the sake and glasses, whilst the girls headed for the bedroom.

Matsumoto, Rukia, Isane, Yumichika (Honorary woman for this voyeurism) & Tatsuki all peered around the bedroom door.

"Ahhh." Matsumoto whispered. "He's nearly as cute as my Taicho." They giggled.

Tatsuki looked at the messy ginger mop of hair, the peaceful look on his face and carefree way he laid with his arms above his head. He did look totally adorable and she smiled.

Rukia nudged her and all the girls smiled knowingly.

"You've got it bad haven't you?" She said as they moved back into the hall and followed the sound of the men in the garden.

"What?"

"I think its lovely he's finally got someone." Matsumoto gave Tatsuki a hug before claiming to glasses out of the hands of Renji and baldy (A/N can't remember his name!) and pushing one firmly into her hands.

Ichigo sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes. Sleep certainly didn't seem to make one bit of difference. _Did pregnant women always walk around shattered all the time? He was hardly pregnant at all, what was it going to be like later?_ He shuddered at the thought. _What the hell was all that noise?_ He pulled the navy yukata tighter and tied the obi above his stomach, some how it just didn't feel right any lower. He glanced in the mirror. "That's the start of middle aged bulge." He tutted before following the sound of the noise to the back garden still rubbing more sleep from his eyes and yawning widely.

"Ichigo!" Matsumoto called. The garden seemed to suddenly quieten and Ichigo looked at the crowd of people a little surprised. The busty woman ran over and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh you still look so cute even though your awake!"

Ichigo glanced at Tatsuki with a frown. She smiled back and shrugged. "Now don't you worry about a thing. We're all going to look out for you!"

"Matsumoto. You're embarrassing the boy." Hitsugaya handed him a glass of juice.

"And your glass is empty."

"Ohh. No no no. I must go and get some more!" She bustled off.

"What's going on?" Ichigo asked the snow haired captain glancing around at the people who had gathered, some he didn't even know. However they were all good at avoiding his gaze or muttering behind their hands.

"Well wishers and freeloaders."

"That's you and Renji taken care of and the others?"

The Future…

"Aizen-sama. My test subject seems to have…died in labour."

"And the child?"

"It seems that both perished." This was unforgiveable if he was going to trust that Ichigo would survive long enough to deliver the child.

"Tsk…I want to stress to you the importance of my subject Szayel. Should they die before I have a healthy child delivered, I will personally feed you piece by piece to Grimmjow!"


	3. Aizen the Fool

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

Five Months Pregnant…

Ichigo sat watching the duelling in Division 5. Renji was parading around like a band master orchestrating the fights and declaring winners; the large outdoor arena sounded with the grunts and clashes of weapons.

"Why are you here?" Byakuya peered down at the teen sitting on the floor against the white washed walls, knees in the air and his hands on the now obvious stomach.

"Escaping from Matsumoto." He answered truthfully.

"Isn't it a little noisy?"

"Positively peaceful compared to my dad." Ichigo smiled. "Do you mind?"

"Would you leave if I said yes?"

"Probably not." Ichigo grinned. "But then, I don't think I could get up if I wanted to anyway. I just thought I'd sit here, close my eyes and enjoy the sunshine."

"Here." The noble offered him a hand and pulled him up to his feet. Something tugged at him about the kids ordeal. "Follow me." Ichigo shrugged and followed the taller raven haired man into the division offices. "I think you will find this more suitable." He gestured a day bed in his office and watched the pregnant bump pass him.

"Oh…er…thanks." The man settled at his desk and began to complete his paperwork.

Ichigo sat on the bed and put his aching ankles up. The burning heat of swelling making them ache. "Ahhh…" Ichigo rubbed them and looked at Byakuya as his gaze passed over him instead of his work. "Sorry." He leaned back so he could still see out of the window and watch the combat training as quietly as he could.

"Do they hurt?"

"What?"

"Your ankles?"

"Swollen." Ichigo answered. "Then there are the back pains. Why women do this more than once I'll never know." He half smiled.

"Is it true about the cravings?"

"No, the only things I crave are peaches and sleep. Defiantly not with mustard or pickles or anything weird." Byakuya nodded and went back to his work. Ichigo looked at the fights outside.

"I'm sorry you know, I never would have wanted to have people protect me. I am usually the one who wants to go around gung-hoe for others."

"We all have times that we need to take a back seat. Other than Kurotsuchi Mayuri, no one has said anything."

"That bastard probably wants to do experiment on me. It's his damn fault I'm in this mess." The raised eyebrow asked him to continue. "His Ashisogi Jizō poison. Aizen would inject me with it when he found me asleep."

Byakuya watched him look thoughtful for a while. The missing poison was a forgotten issue; it was just as well that Byakuya stayed awake in the meetings. _So Aizen got hold of the poison. _

"Do you think Aizen knows?" It seemed obvious that the kid was asking something that troubled him, but quite why he picked on him to answer he didn't know. However this talk seemed to raise the kids up in his estimation, so he was more than willing to talk.

"About the baby?" Ichigo nodded. "I would say he does. He is capable of planning this whole thing."

"That's what …at some point he's going to come for me again."

"I think that is for us to worry about and you to trust us."

"Taicho?" Renji knocked on the door. "Have you seen Ichi…here you are." He smiled. He didn't really want to loose Ichigo on his watch. "Time to go home?"

The teen nodded, his bed calling him. Tatsuki was probably finishing her school work by now.

"Thank you Kuchiki Taicho." He bowed slightly much to the captain's surprise.

"I think pregnancy suits you Kurosaki Ichigo. Not only have you mellowed but you have learnt some manners. If you wish to escape you may come again, the daybed gets little use."

"So what did you do my captain?" Renji laughed as he strolled and Ichigo waddled down the street. Ichigo was doing his best to ignore the stares and mutterings.

"We just talked." Ichigo laughed. "I was as surprised as you!"

"Are you up for an evening out tonight?"

"I…aghh." He stopped mid walk and clutched the mound looking surprised.

"What is it?" Renji looked at him panicked. "Ichigo?"

"It kicked!" His wide eyes said as the flat of his palm waited hopefully for another.

"Where?" Renji placed a palm on the top of the bulge.

"There! Did you feel it?"

"Wow…bloody hell, you've got an alien inside you!" Renji laughed. "Like that film I saw in the real world. You know this kid is going to eat its way out your guts and attack Sigourney Weaver! She must be old enough to be dead in Seireitei somewhere!" The two men laughed and continued their walk home.

"You know that's enough to scare the shit out of me right now!" Ichigo slapped Reni's arm.

"Well how's it going to come out then?"

"I dunno, I've been too scared to ask!"

"Coward."

"And proud of it."

5 Months 30 Days Pregnant…

"Have I grown overnight?" Ichigo asked looking at the belly side on in the mirror.

The weather was turning cooler now that the Autumn was on its way and there was a distinct chill in the room as he dressed.

"Yeah, you're taller." Tatsuki laughed earning her a typical scowl.

"Oi. Stop fidgeting in there!" He poked his stomach at the strange lump that passed underneath his skin. He'd never get used to that, it was just totally bizarre. The parasite inside was currently enjoying a morning stretch and pressing into his rib cage. "Oi. That hurts you know!"

Tatsuki lay in the bed and laughed at him chatting away to his belly.

"If it's anything like you, it's going to come out with a scowl and foul mouth!"

"I don't talk about how it'll come out remember!" He pulled the edges of his robes around and she laughed as he tutted at the gaping hole between the edges.

"What the hell?"

"Try that one your dad leant you."

"Yeah if it goes around his belly it should go round mine." He scoffed reaching into the wardrobe and pulling out the sea-foam coloured kimono. "You getting up?"

"I might have a lie in. You kept me awake a long time last night."

"Sorry." He looked at her apologetic. After his routine nightmare, he had for once felt the need to chat at length to her. She reached up her hand and he grabbed the hand in his.

"Come back to bed." She pleaded.

"I've got an appointment with the 4th or I would."

"Ichi, you should have reminded me!" She pushed back the bedding.

"No, you stay have a sleep and I'll join you when I get back. I'd give you a kiss, but I'd never get back up again!" He smiled.

The 4th Division…

Ichigo naked belly protruded up from the examination table it's owner looked at Unohana's face expectantly as she withdrew her green reiatsu from his abdomen. Her calm smile reassured him.

"Your baby is doing fine and so it seems are you. How do you feel?"

"Other than being permanently being kicked in the ribs, shattered, indigestion, swollen ankles, back ache and needing the loo rather a lot, fine I guess." He sat and pulled the kimono back around himself.

"Well that doesn't sound too positive."

"Can you stop me eating peaches?" He scratched his neck. "It plays havoc with my bowels."

"You are avoiding answering me." Retsu enjoyed the relationship she'd built up with Ichigo over the past weeks. She didn't get too many pregnant patients and this one was certainly not an average one at that! It pleased her that he'd found her easy to talk to – once he'd been pushed gently in the right direction. "How are the dreams?"

"Still there."

"And?"

"I just don't get it. Why hasn't he come to find me?"

"You still expect him to?"

"Don't you?"

"What ever Aizen is, he certain wins the war on patience and planning Ichigo. If he hasn't come, then it isn't the time he wants to. He'll be savouring your torment and relishing the moment he does."

"You've known him a long time, I guess you'd know."

"That's just the point. We all found out, that we didn't know him at all. He fooled us all for many many years. He must be patient and have planned his manipulation. The one thing I never expected of him was that he was so amoral. You're the last piece of that evidence." She sighed and patted his hand. "That's a little heavy for me. What ever his plans Ichigo, for you or the winter war, we have to just make the most of this time we have." He nodded. She looked as his head dropped to his hands and he fiddled with his fingers thoughtfully for a moment. "How is it with you and your girlfriend?"

"Fine."

"Well that's good. You have someone who'll do everything not to hurt you Ichigo. Love is a great healer." She smiled knowingly.

Return from 4th Division…

"Hey, your not in bed." Ichigo and his bodyguard for the day, Ikkaku grinned as the pair exchanged a kiss in the kitchen where she was preparing lunch.

"You were gone ages. I got bored waiting for you."

"Where are the others?"

"Groceries." She slapped Ikkaku's creeping hand before it reached the shredded vegetables. "How it go?"

"Everything is fine."

"Good. Hungry?"

"No tired. That walk gets longer each time."

"Cos you need to pee every twenty paces!" The bald smiling man protested at the slap on top of his head.

"Ichigo." Tatsuki protested as he took the knife from her hand and placed the chopping board in front of the hungry lieutenant. He took her hand and dragged her from the kitchen. "Ichigo!" She looked at him a little surprised as he shut the bedroom door behind them. "What happened?" This out of character behaviour was worrying.

"Nothing. I have to do something whilst my mind is fixed on it, or I'll loose my bottle."

"Do what?"

"I've wanted to…you know…" He smiled sheepishly and scratched his head. "With you…but…Unohana said some things today."

"I really am not getting you. Do what!"

"This!" He pressed his lips into hers his intent suddenly clear as his tongue pressed between her soft lips and his hands pressed her close.

Ikkaku munching the last of the shredded cabbage wondered where the bathroom was, that kid's frequent trips must be having an effect on him. He peered in the first door. _Nope, a bedroom_. The second, the door was shut, his hand poised ready to open it but the groan from the other side made him hesitate…another groan…panting…_Nope not the bathroom_! He grinned hesitating just a little longer than he really needed to before moving onto the next door.

Ichigo drew the condom onto his leaking penis by feel, as he certainly couldn't see beneath the his belly to do so.

"That's what I call prepared." Tatsuki lay watching him, absently mindidly caressing her nipples, the feel of Ichigo's mouth still lingering on them.

"Even here they have condom machines in the loo's, only the first one had run out!" He grinned. Okay, that wasn't a terribly romantic conversation, but what does one do when putting these damn things on? Hum? The next romantic occurrence was the attempted positions. Missionary, nope the belly was too uncomfortable, from behind, he couldn't see his approach and so finally a few trial and errors later, they settled for Ichigo leaning against the headboard, and Tatsuki straddling him.

Ichigo realised that this position had its advantages for a lustful teen. The visual affects were rather compelling.

"Oh jeeeee….sus…" Tatsuki threw her head back as the large thick organ didn't just impale her, it stretched and stimulated unlike any of her Judo counterparts. Ichigo reached up and thumbed the sensual nipples, applying pressure to the cupped breasts. Anything more than a handful would be a waste and this girl had a handful enough for him. She shuddered as he slid one hand gently down her abdomen, circled her navel and dipped between her legs to find the prized hub of nerve endings that made her groan loudly. She rocked her hips faster, rubbing against the pads of his fingers, her fingers digging into his shoulders.

The tight warm tunnel, send simmering pulses through Ichigo, he fought to keep his breath as he felt his release coming to consume him. He let out a guttural moan as Tatsuki whimpered into another climax, her lips falling against his as he inhaled with the rush of sensation that melting any coherent thoughts from his brain.

Her arms wrapped around him and held him. His chest heaved with breathless pants and he looked at her with uncertain eyes.

"Fuck me, can we do that again?" She grinned. "Was it a double pack?" She knew she had to be quick before that uncertain expression changed to something more serious. Before he could think of that bastard.

The relief was everything he wanted. His mind clear of any association to Aizen thanks to her comical evaluation of his skills.

"I'm shagged." He half laughed totally wiped out. "Later."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Is that all you'll be holding?" They kissed smiling widely, a sense of passing a huge barrier in their relationship. "I love you." He kissed her again. "I'm so lucky to have you." So lucky to have her and her sense of humour, her kicking his arse, holding his hand, wiping his tears and now taking away his fears. His head rested forward against her shoulder and his eyes closed. "Stay with me a while." He asked as his breathing calmed.

6 Months in the Future…

"Aizen-sama. It must be time to recover your subject. I need to monitor the progress ready for any signs of failure should they occur."

"I will attend to it myself." Aizen said turning and leaving the room with a billowing trail of fabric following. Of course he could only get Ichigo if he knew where he was. Since that kid suddenly 4 months ago found out how to contain his energy, Aizen had failed to find him. In truth, there was only one place he could be. Logic was a wonderful thing. _Seireitei near Division 4. Wasn't there a house near division 3 close by? Isshin had never used the Captains house when he was the Captain of Division 3._

6 Months Pregnant In an Apparently Safe Bedroom in Seireitei…

Ice crept around Ichigo's veins, freezing his rounded form motionless. His mouth instantly dry, tension constricting his windpipe. Wide huge eyes and an expression of utter fear splattered across his face.

Aizen smiled as his fingers traced the jaw line and trailed down to a nipple. _He's remembered. His fear is still here, what a stupid boy. He had all that time to regain his spirit. _Two large palms positioned themselves on the very swollen belly with a smug smile…


	4. Fear

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

6 Months Pregnant In an Apparently Safe Bedroom in Seireitei…

Ice crept around Ichigo's veins, freezing his rounded form motionless. His mouth instantly dry, tension constricting his windpipe. Wide huge eyes and an expression of utter fear splattered across his face.

Aizen smiled as his fingers traced the jaw line and trailed down to a nipple. _He's remembered. His fear is still here, what a stupid boy. He had all that time to regain his spirit. _Two large palms positioned themselves on the very swollen belly with a smug smile…

"Remove this." Aizen flicked at the black kimono. Ichigo's hands fumbled with the obi, too nervous to make his fingers work properly. Aizen slapped his face. "Faster."

Ichigo swallowed as his fingers began to shake even harder and Aizen watched them amused. He curled one powerful hand around the wrist and bracelet squeezing firmly. Ichigo tried not to call out in pain as the pressure increased and then increased again, forcing the boy to the floor on his knees.

"I…Please…" Ichigo whimpered as his hand began to go blue with pins and needles rushing up his arm in painful swathes.

"You thought you could hide." Ichigo shook his head earning him another slap around the face. Aizen tried to control his actions for the sake of his baby as angered as he was, however Ichigo needed to learn a lesson. "Did you forget that you are mine and what is contained in you is mine?"

_**Let me get him!**_ Hichigo surged forward.

'No! The baby…Hichigo!' Ichigo screamed inside his head, his fear allowing the Hollow control.

Aizen smirked at the mask that slewed across the scared face and admired the flash of spirit and challenge in the black and golden eyes.

Hichigo sprang to his feet, drawing the snapping bones of Ichigo's hand through Aizen's vice like grip. He grinned at the menace before him.

"_**Howdy**_."

"What use are you going to be?" Aizen looked impassive and Hichigo ground his teeth. "You are pathetic too."

Hichigo leapt forward, fists clenched, teeth bared and one foot swung to strike.

In the Kitchen & Garden…

Isshin stood patting Yuzu on the shoulder as she swept the kitchen floor. She was such a good mother to the family.

Karin and Tatsuki were having a light hearted spar in the back garden.

Kenpatchi, enduring his watch, stood picking his teeth as he leaned against the front garden fence, ignoring the demands for sweets from his little pink Lieutenant.

"AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Echoed out in a pain fuelled scream reaching them all at once if not reaching the whole of the soul land in a wash of sound.

"Ichigo!" Everyone called independently. Their feet were moving quicker than their brains and they all surged into the bedroom.

Aizen turned to face them as the rip began to close, his face a triumphant smile and in his arms Ichigo out cold.

"YOU BASTARD!" Isshin screamed trying vainly to get to the rip before it closed.

6 Months & 2 Days Pregnant in Hueco Mundo …

Ichigo had woken only a few moments ago. His mind awash with confusion as he looked around his environment. The first thing he noticed were the ties strapping his limbs to the bed. Even his bandage wrapped arm had not escaped the thick restraint. Wires and tubes trailed from him, digging into his flesh at various points of his anatomy. What they did he could only guess.

Aizen stood with Szayel viewing the waking teen on the monitors.

"You are lucky Aizen-Sama. From the state he was when you brought him in, I did not think he would wake, however, do not think he will withstand anymore of your punishments. His vital signs appear to be recovering, but he's going to need some careful treatment from here. You should have been more restrained. I did warn you about the risks."

"How is the baby?" Aizen ignored the impertinent remarks, he was the only one who could give him a healthy child.

"Everything seems to have settled now. The heart rate has stabilised at last."

The memory of the violent surge of an unknown Kido spell, flashed through him made Ichigo shudder and awareness dawned on him of the how weak he felt. His head pounded, his limbs ached, his back was constricted into tight knocks that pulsed with tension. A slight dizziness swayed around him and exhustion was only a moment away. Pain dripped from a wound in his shoulder where the spell had hit its target.

His naked body was covered in a thin white sheet and he felt the reassuring movement inside him.

_My baby. Its alright? Oh, thank you._

Why did it have to take this extreem measure for him to understand how much he'd begun to care for the wriggling and kicking lump. It had taken possession of his heart in such a quiet, refined manner, he'd missed when it started.

_Aizen might not hurt you if I just go along with him...You have to keep this baby safe Ichigo. You have to do what ever it takes._

It was stupid for either of them to think they could have done anything with the restraint on his energy in place. He glanced at the silver band and sent a secret prayer to everyone at home.

_Please come and get me, please. I don't know i'm strong enough anymore._

The bed sat in the centre of the white featureless room. The floor echoed to Aizen's footsteps each a click closer to the scared youth in the bed who jolted as it rose, tipping his weight to his feet agasint the footboard. Yanking at his broken hand. He supressed a yelp.

Ichigo, wanted to remain awake, but his head was swimming, his eyes could not pin point the face long enough to see the whole expression and fatigue clawed at him urgently lidding his eyes and dulling his senses.

"One minute only." Szayel instructed him as he glanced at the readings his machines were giving him. Ichigo was teetering on the edge of a void. Since Aizen entered the room, his heart was rapid and irregular. Breathing shallow and laboured. This was too much strain to permit it for longer than the minute.

Inside his mind, Ichigo remembered the scream that echoed from him as Aizen countered Hichigo's attack. A white light flashed around him, consumed him, it sunk into his body causing him to spasm and push the Hollow back as it constricted and forced his mind to blank out the pain.

"Rest Ichigo." This man seemed different, almost caring, as he stroked the teens cheek.

Ichigo waited for the touch to change and whimpered in anticipation. "You have my word that you are safe now." Aizen felt sure he could follow through those words. There were other more important factors. He caressed the mound and was rewarded with movement between his finger. A smile spread across his face. "Quite safe."

"Don't hurt my baby." Ichigo pleaded. "I'll do what ever you want."

"I thought you would." Aizen smiled the Victor.

6 Months & 2 Weeks Pregnant in Hueco Mundo…

"Where are you taking me?" Ichigo was not comfortable being in the arms of Aizen. He didn't mean for his words to sound so harsh, for fear of the reprisal, but he couldn't help but feel alarmed; naked beneath the bunched sheet he felt he had a right to feel that way.

"Calm yourself Ichigo-kun. You were only allowed to come to your new quarters on the proviso you were not excited."

"So I'm not staying where I was?"

"The hospital wing? No." Aizen turned the corridor of another white corridor. "This is the private wing for Tousin, Gin and Myself." He paused at a door. "This is yours." Ichigo expected a white featureless room, not the pale blue one presented to him that was a fairly similar representation of his one at home, minus a window and plus three doors.

Aizen set him back on his feet and looked at the surprised teen clutching his sheet around him.

There was a desk, reading books of authors he liked, book cases full of his school subjects, writing materials, a lap top, art materials, a games console and of course a _large double_ bed with a blue Quincy cover and a well stocked closet.

Ichigo peered inside the wardrobe almost expecting a sleeping Rukia to appear, but found it full of drawers and hanging space packed with white clothes from underwear, nightwear and daywear similar to the usual uniform here. Instead of Aizen's hint of plum, Tousen's black and Gin's teal, his was trimmed with orange.

"You will change into one of those." Aizen said sitting on the bed with his arms outstretched behind him watching Ichigo drag his fingers down the orange trim of one outfit. _Will Ichigo challenge or comply? _

Ichigo pulled out one outfit and turned to Aizen.

"I don't think they'll fit."

"The fabric moulds itself to the desired shape. It will be slim fitting but show your shape perfectly."

"Where do the doors go?" Ichigo asked hoping to delay or distract the man longer.

"One to the bathroom, one our son's room and the other to my room."

"Your room?"

"I want you on hand." Ichigo hesitated, he was just going to remain to be the fuck toy for Aizen. On hand meant that only a door separated them. A door with no lock. "I told you when you woke that you would be safe. So wipe that concerned look from your face." Aizen looked to him smiling, knowing he had predicted correctly what Ichigo was thinking about. "Dress." Aizen stated again.

"I…I don't know which."

Aizen stood and pulled out a white dress style robe, wide orange obi.

"That is all I think you will require." Aizen closed the closet door and took the items to the bed and laid them out before resuming his seated position. "Without any more delay." Aizen said raising an eyebrow.

Ichigo hated the scrutiny of Aizen's gaze. Dropping the sheet, he tried not to look at the man who was soaking up the sight before him.

Aizen watched the naked figure walk to the bed a tremble evident in his hand as he reached for the robe. Gone however was the wonderful toned torso that Aizen mused over and in its place a rounded belly that extended right to under his pecs. Those in themselves showing a more womanly shape. Rounded with slight movement. Not to obvious if dressed Aizen guessed, but naked, Ichigo's body was certainly preparing for the birth of the child. The once beautiful body, still surprisingly looked beautiful but for completely different reasons. The prior made him lustful where as this modification radiated new life and new possibilities.

Pulled over his head, Ichigo smoothed out the fabric as its long arms clung like his favourite t-shirts at home, the neck slung low from shoulder to shoulder leaving his collar bones visible. The body of the outfit, fitted snugly to the expanse of his belly, draping in to his hip and falling straight from that point. The wide obi exaggerated the pregnant bump but felt comfortable like a support for his back and Ichigo was pleasantly surprised how light and comfortable the outfit was, even if a little effeminate.

"The orange works better than I thought." Aizen words were suddenly in his ear and his body pressed up behind him, hands on hips pulling him into Aizen's firm presence. "The shade matches your hair better than I had hoped. Do you like it?"

"I feel like a girl."

"You look like a girl." Aizen tapped the stomach. "Your body is in fact both boy and girl now." That obviously did not please Ichigo and Aizen swept back to the closet. His hand extended back to Ichigo. "A Haori." He offered it. It was a plane sleeveless white with orange edging and Ichigo tugged it on. Thankfully it hid the dress like properties of the outfit. "Better?" Ichigo nodded.

"Why did you do this to me?" The whispered question was out before Ichigo could catch it and he flinched as Aizen stepped close, too close. He pulled up the bandaged wrist holding the bracelet and glared at the boy.

"Because of this." Ichigo's eyes flew open waiting for the Aizen to start to squeeze his not yet mended hand. Ichigo's eyes well up and Aizen paused sensing the fear absolutely rippled from him. The bracelet link opened as Aizen slid it off his hand. "Your powers stupid boy." Aizen clarified as Ichigo felt the surge of release flow from him, pent up for too long. The waves pulsed and Ichigo put a steadying hand on Aizen's chest as he swayed.

"Too much." He barely managed to say, feeling the same as his first attack against the Monos Grand. In his current state, he felt completely overwhelmed, the pressure was pushing him to the floor. As quick as his power had arrived, the snap of the bracelet being refastened it stopped. Ichigo grunted as his body slumped forward.

Aizen sighed as he scooped the unconscious youth into his arms.

The Present…7 Months Pregnant…

"Uuugggghhhh." Ichigo tore at the hands around his throat that pinned him forcibly to the bed. His lungs were pained beyond belief, his world was more than rapidly turning into a black hole. He could feel his body slowly refusing to fight anymore, it was starving of its vital energy – oxygen.


	5. Gins Support not

Hello thinking

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

Seconds were all he had left and all his panic ridden brain could worry about was the baby inside him, being murdered before it had chance to live.

Aizen ran into the room, he could feel Gin's retsui from the other side of the castle, murderous jealously overriding everything. Ichigo's face was scarlet, his lips blue.

One wild swipe at Gin's side, the silver haired man flew across the room.

Ichigo drew in a huge gasping breath as Aizen pulled him into his chest. He watched the boy struggle, coughing, stealing gulps of air inside him as his arms flailed against Aizen's hold as if he was trying to swim ashore. Tears fell freely from his eyes as his agitation kept its hold.

"You see, you do care more for him than me!" Gin yelled getting to his feet, watching his lover stroke the boy's hair tenderly and rock him slowly.

"Leave." Aizen said simply.

"What you'll deal with me later? Later after you've been with him!"

Aizen glared at his irrational partner and zoned his powers to crush him to the floor to the point he could hardly breathe.

"Do not question me. Understand?" The writing body nodded for release and Aizen watched him run from the room like a cheated lover. _Gin was going to regret this._ He thought before turning his attention back to the now calmer boy in his arms.

Ichigo was panting more from the shock of what happened, his arms now clung to the ones wrapped around him and his tears still fell dampening Aizen's sleeve.

The door opened again with Slyzel only just catching up with Aizen.

"The baby." Ichigo looked to the Arrancar that he would have normally chosen to avoid, for some kind of comfort. To ease he concerns that the baby, his baby, was safe.

"We'll have a listen shall we?" Slyzel drew a metal probe from his pocket and pulled up the dishevelled nightwear to reveal the bump. Placing the probe, cold end on the proudest point, Slyzel slowly drifted the probe around the belly, searching for a heartbeat. Aizen felt the seconds drift by as hours, _keenly_ aware of the damage that the lack of oxygen could have caused. _Keenly_ also aware of Ichigo's ever tightening grip on his arm. Finally the rapid beat echoed around the room and Ichigo and Aizen exchanged a relieved smile. Not willing to risk anything, after a full examination of the mother, he declared. "All seems in order. You seem to be in a similar health to this morning." The scientist looked at the ginger haired boy with interest. He had not seen this display of happiness before. It was unusual for what he had observed to date. He took Aizen's nod as his cue for release of duty and left the room.

"I will arrange a guard on the door." Aizen said pulling away from the hold.

"Don't go." Ichigo looked pleadingly at him.

Aizen stood, his surprise well hidden. He understood the fear and concern. But he didn't understand the request for him, of all people, to be here.

Aizen may be a bastard, he may have raped and molested him, but he was the most familiar person Ichigo had right now. Since being brought to this room, Aizen had been nothing but patient and calm with him. Not to mention he'd just saved their lives and Ichigo needed the comfort of someone who cared right now.

Aizen glanced at the book thrown on the floor at the point of the attack and bent to pick it up.

"Reading? You are meant to stay in bed, not jump up and down to the book cases."

"I can't reach anything from here. I have to get up." The voice was timid, not free of the pain and distress of his ordeal, or was it fear of punishment for leaving the bed? Aizen wasn't sure. He knew however, that this twist of his unexpected event could just work in his favour.

"Then I will arrange for company who can assist you." He said testing Ichigo's resolve to have him remain present.

Ichigo closed his eyes as if it was the hardest thing in the world for him to ask. "Stay with me a while." He opened his eyes and looked at Aizen. "Please."

"It is late. You should be sleeping already." Aizen placed the book beside the bed and smoothed the covers of the sitting youth.

"I don't think I can sleep after that."

Aizen sighed. He could feel Gin in his own room, pacing and throwing a tantrum. Letting him stew might be a good punishment to start with. Another might be…

Ichigo, wondered what was happening as Aizen scooped him into his arms and kicked open the door that connected their rooms. He flicked the covers on his own bed back with his foot and laid Ichigo down on his palatial ruby coloured bed. He threw off his clothes and climbed in beside the teen pulling him closer.

"I…" Ichigo could not hide the concern in his voice, this isn't what he meant.

"Sleep Ichigo."

The Next Day…

Stark had never been inside this room before. It was vast compared to his own bed chambers. The white walls of the castle were definitely not allowed past the threshold. Deep red velvet curtains, rich wooden flooring, ebony furniture and in the centre a huge regal bed and sumptuous red bedding. Stark looked at the bed and the figure that seemed swamped in the middle. Kurosaki Ichigo, the boy they had all heard was here, but none of his counterparts had had a single glimpse of. So the creepy pink haired nerd had been right. Here he was sleeping.

"Interesting isn't he." Aizen's voice interrupted his thoughts and Stark looked to his master. Aizen lowered his voice. "I have a personal mission for you. One that must not fail." Stark listened. "One person has the potential to destroy my plans. I want them eliminated. I don't care if you have to tear half of Soul Society apart, or shred her to pieces, but I want Tatsuki Arisawa dead."

Stark liked the idea of tearing Soul Society apart. Aizen noticed that the suggestion sat well with his strongest subordinate.

"Yes, Aizen-Sama." Stark was dismissed.

Aizen looked to the bed and smiled to him self. This had to be one of his finest idea's. How did he manage to be such a genius?

He crossed the room and unlaced the waraji and removed his sleeping yakata, to lay back in bed. He felt Gin's presence move down towards his door and pause. Aizen smiled, ignored the knock and lent to kiss Ichigo as he slept.

The gasp brought a sinister smile to his lips and he looked into the chocolate eyes that were wide open only an inch from his own.

"Good morning my love." Aizen said softly. The door shut abruptly and he listened to the footsteps running down the corridor. Aizen despised smugness, he was far too intelligent to let such a petty emotion creep into his life, but for once, he did. He stoked the angry bruise around the boys neck and let the smugness sit happily in his stomach. All best plans come to those who wait. Aizen was good at waiting.

"Please." His toy's voice crept uncertainly out of his mouth and Aizen looked at Ichigo's worried face. "I want to go back to my room."

"No."

"I…just…"

"You will remain here where I can protect you personally. Rest Ichi, you really do look a little stressed."

"I want to go home." Ichigo whispered, he felt so helpless and frightened by everything happening around him. There was nothing he could do, no fight he could put up. Everything here was out of his control and out of his league.

"I could give you everything you could ever want. Couldn't you try to be happy with that? I would love you more than anyone, treat you better than anyone. Give you riches and treasures. I could give you the universe."

"I just want to go home." Ichigo couldn't help the tears that fell, his hormones were enough for him to handle at the best of times and now just seemed like a task too much.

"Be quiet now." Aizen's lips fell against Ichigo's ear. "You know I can even make you feel the pleasure no one else can. I know your body, every part of it, every single thing your body yearns for."

Ichigo could only open his eyes wide and feel the constriction of fear in his chest. He knew that to fight was useless, to argue, to scream or plead did not have the desired affect. Physically he had fallen into the mindset that he was weak and useless.

"Ichigo, what do you think it would feel like to let yourself enjoy the experience? Have I not proved how much I can please you? Think, you don't even have to answer me, just be honest with yourself. When I touched you that last time at your home in Karakura, your body responded with pleasure."

His Hollow had already taunted him about how his body had reacted. How he had cum twice that time. How it had let him down feeling that rush of mind numbing satisfaction.

Aizen let the smugness content itself around the signs that Ichigo was thinking about it, he was remembering the feelings he'd experienced. To have a willing, Ichigo, crying out in pleasure was a challenge Aizen was ready for.

Aizen ran a finger along the jaw line. A thumb caressed the soft round cheek, his lips and ear. "I'll keep you safe Ichigo. Trust me." Expecting a sexual advance, Ichigo was surprised at the warm comforting embrace, and advance might have made his mind consider that this was really still against his will, but the embrace confused him. "Have you ever thought that this could be a two way thing? If we make each other happy, it can only help us both feel happy? Do you want to be happy Ichigo?" The boy nodded. "Then let me help you." He whispered and placed soft kisses on his ear.

Aizen always felt that sex followed the same predictable patterns. As satisfying as it could be, the monotony got to him. Excitement could only be drawn from new things, new people, teaching techniques, seeing how far he could push his partners. How much could they tolerate? Bondage, violence, forcing, rough blows, pure lust and simple caresses were all much the same after a while. Gin, was good for getting rid of any frustrations he felt, but he had got bored of him.

Ichigo was a new toy. Not quite fully broken in and explored. There were still things he hadn't done to this kid yet that he could.

Nice and caring, seemed to be the right thing to do at the moment and listening to the teens breathing, it was worth the restraint. Trust had to be won, it couldn't ever just be given. A strange sensation pulled at him, a desire to just have skin contact, time and sharing. He wanted Ichigo badly to enjoy this, to feel him, the man. To feel what he wanted to convey.

Ichigo, fell into the trance of excitement. The thrill of feeling the softest of kisses along his shoulder, down his chest and over his abdomen. His breathing panted and craved every single touch. With arms curiously wishing to feel back, touched the very broad shoulders and kneaded into the slabs of muscle.

Caresses up his thighs and over his sacs had him whimpering for more. His nipples ached for the lips and teasing teeth to continue, almost enough to bring his senses crashing around him. Fingers, oiled somehow, were welcome inside him. His back arched and _his_ mouth captured Aizen's. Ichigo wanted nothing more right now than the feel of Aizen inside him.

"Aizen…" Ichigo moaned.

"What do you want?"

"You." Aizen smiled. His lips pressed against Ichigo's, his tongue relishing the taste of him. Feeling his mouth and groin ignite further as the teen pushed into his mouth with equal passion.

Kneeling, he pulled Ichigo into place and pushed into him carefully. His hungry eyes taking in the sight of his beautiful rounded form, the head thrown back caught in that feeling of intensity that came with the first thrust. The sounds of delicious moans and gasps. Hands that were opening and clenching.

Aizen let his hands fall onto the belly, soaking up its beauty, its wonder. He thrust gently, slowly, with care. Every thrust pressed the right buttons for them both, even more so when Aizen let one hand wrap around the swollen member and caress it up and down.

"OOohhh Yeeessss." Ichigo moaned as came into Aizen's palm. With the sight of a twitching, moaning teen beneath him, Aizen thrust harder needing to come right now, right now, RIGHT NOW! He yelled, his hips bucking as his mind wiped of all thoughts but the astonishing rush.

Ichigo had given Aizen an experience he never thought he would have, he slumped beside the ginger hair and looked at the peaceful face, its beauty unlike anything else he had tasted. That strange sensation coursed through him unrealised until that moment. He had, for the first time in his entire life, just made love.

One sided as it was, it was a start.

The Future…8 Months Pregnant in the Nursery

Ichigo, stood leaning against the wall of the nursery. The door to the main room was open and he listened out for the signs of Aizen coming back. He knew that to be out of bed was not allowed, but his legs were cramping, his back was aching and he just felt that a walk was the right thing. His hand ran along the rail of the finest cot he had ever seen. Where ever Aizen got this stuff, it was incredible. So much finer than the stuff in Soul Society or back home. He fingered the soft, blue bedding.

The closet was full of beautiful white and blue clothes, miniature versions of the uniforms here, but cute for the sake of their size. Ichigo just wanted to look at it all, see everything, touch it and wonder at using it next month.

He walked slowly, the pronounced waddle feeling alien to him with as little as he walked. _Bathroom._ Ichigo felt the sudden need to empty his bladder and bowels. He paused gripping the bulge as it seemed to constrict and feel rock hard beneath his hands.

"Ohhhh. Shit…" He groaned at the pain that seemed to ripple from his back around to his front. "Agghhhh…" Ichigo had made a few more steps forward, before another wave hit him. His white knuckles clung to the door frame with one hand whilst the other clung to his stomach. The pain ripped through him again. "Ohhhh God…What?" He felt a flood of fluids drain themselves down his legs and looked at the puddle with horror. "The baby!" _Was it blood? Was it blood?_

The pain eased and he managed a few more steps forward, pausing to groan as another contraction surged.

"Hichigo!" Ichigo screamed.

_**Its not blood, the kid is fine. **_

'Oh God it hurts. Its too early. What do I do?'

_**I would suggest screaming.**_

'Can't you do something?'

_**Nope, not with your body doing that! You do know now don't you which part of you this kid is heading for! **_Did that stupid idiot always have to sound so sarcastic and laugh at the same time! Now, of all times for pities sake!

'Well it feels like I'm going to do a huge shit'

_**Correct, about 6lbs of screaming, cooing shit. **_The laughing was almost hysterical and Ichigo wasn't in the mood to laugh along.

'That's not helping you bastard!'

_**Too bad, I don't actually want to be part of this your on your own.**_

'Hichigo!'

_**Ain't nothing I want to stay around for, bye bye!**_

"Aggghhhh… Aizen! Aizen!" Ichigo clung desperately to the wall.


	6. Parenting

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

During the Delivery…

Renji, knew this wasn't much of a rescue party, but it had been good enough once before. They had 24 hours and then a back up team would come. He just hoped to avoid the need for the back up. Ichigo had to be rescued now, before he gave birth.

The sense of urgency and desperation seemed to affect, Rukia, Ishida and Chad too.

They were waiting for Orihime, but still reeling from the news of Tatsuki's death, she didn't seem to have the same impatience as the others.

"I vote we go now." Rukia looked to the others. "We don't know how long she's going to be."

"But if he is injured." Chad objected.

"Then you can use your brute strength to get him home quickly."

"Right, enough chat." Renji declared and stepped forth into the abyss between the two realms.

A Proud Father…

"How is he?" Aizen looked at the mop of ginger hair and turned the face to admire the fatigued and sleeping experiment.

"It's not terribly natural for a male human to deliver via that passage I believe. I think he may take some time to heal." There may have been a hint of amusement in Szayel's voice but the would be God ignored it.

"And my child?" His eyes cast to the tiny infant sleeping beside its…mother.

"Seems remarkably healthy." Szayel didn't make any remarks as to the sprinkling of ginger hair on the child. He didn't sense that it would be well received and he didn't want to lose his life just yet.

5 Minutes After the Birth…

Gin was surprised by the sudden strike across the back of his head. He sprawled on the floor grunting as the hard floor hit his face.

He rolled over and over and over as a boot connected with his side. His giddy glance at Aizen was puzzled.

"IT'S A DAMN GIRL!" He roared. Only Gin had the privilege of seeing Aizen loose his cool and it was usually quite memorable. "I. WASTED. ALL.THAT.TIME.ON.A.GIRL!" He punctuated each word with a kick at his silver haired life partner.

"So try again. He still can have more can't he?" Gin said from his prone position, spitted the blood from his mouth and rubbing his sore chin. Aizen loomed over him the fire of anger in his eyes.

Gin winced as he was dragged upright by his hair.

"I am going to fuck you until you scream, beating the shit out of you. Then I'm going to do it again!" The venom in his voice hinted that this to be one of those memorable events.

Gin's smile widened.

"Promise?"

The Rescue…

Ichigo held the tiny baby in his arms and leaned against the wall. Renji looked back, he'd fallen far behind.

"Wait." He called the others and ran back. "Come on Ichigo."

"I can't…" He panted and grimaced. "Give me a minute."

"I'll hold the baby." He took the bundle of cloth and wrapped an arm around Ichigo's waist. "Come on. They'll be after us." They got another couple of paces before Ichigo's knees gave in. The others all ran back.

"Just take the baby and go." Ichigo grimaced he was in too much pain right now to rush around this vast castle. He felt the warm wet fluid between his legs a sure sign that he was losing way too much blood. There was no way he was going to do this. He'd only hold them back, but at least his baby would be saved.

"How old is the baby? When did you give birth?" Rukia asked him glancing at the trail of blood that lead to where he sat slumped. They should have waited for Orihime.

"This morning." Ichigo said feeling incredibly tired and sore he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Rukia gestured to Renji look at the red marker and he cursed.

"Shit. You take the baby." He handed the infant over to her. "Right you. On your feet." He grabbed Ichigo by the hands and heaved him upright. "I'll carry you the first part. Chad you the second." The taller man nodded. "Ishida, take our rear, they're going to follow his trail."

…

"You incompetent fool!" Aizen released a huge burst of his powers over the scientist and watched him writhe on the floor with bloody foam spluttering out his mouth.

"Aizen-Sama, I think he gets it now." Gin appeared. "It seems you haven't let on how much you care for the kid." Gin kicked the struggling figure on the floor as he felt his leader pull back his wroth. "I sent some guys after them. I thought…"

"I wanted a boy."

"And?" Gin pressed his body into the back of the powerful man. "You wanted to get rid of the girl. Now you have."

"The boy was in no condition to be escaping. It would be a waste of effort if he died."

"Then why make it so hard for him?"

"You wanna take it out of me? You know I love a bit of pain?" A tongue snaked inside the mans ear and Aizen clenched Gin's wrists tightly.

"Keep going and I'd believe you were in some way helpful with their rescue attempt."

"An here's me thinking, I'd got away with sending only puny Hollows after them?" He smiled.

"Jealousy does not become you Gin."

"Na. But I got you to myself again."

…

"Rukia." Ichigo croaked as he resisted being thrown over Renji's shoulder, just one more glance as his baby that's all he wanted. He grimaced at the tug on his insides and looked to his long standing friend and the glimpse of the beautiful face & soft tufts of ginger hair that was in her arms. His fingers touched a warm pink cheek softly. "Masaki. She's called Masaki." He managed to say before one last twist inside him made him inhale and stagger. He swayed on his feet, his eyes closed.

Renji caught him.

"Renji, we need to move now." Ishida said sensing several powerful forces heading towards them at speed.

The 4th Division…

Unohana didn't know how the kid managed to wake but he did, had done for the past 3 days, ignoring his own needs to feed the delicate child and fall asleep again. From the moment they had stepped back into Seireitei, with his blood drained body on an examination table, he'd stirred at the sound of her distress. His own cries had been insistent that her needs were greater than his and giving in to his anxiety, she had settled the moment he took her in his arms, lapping at the miracle of his milk.

Renji, Rukia, Chad and Ishida all bore their own wounds and succumbed to much needed rest. Their reinforcements also seemed a little weary which made Ichigo's behaviour even more incredible. But soon, soon he was going to have to face another challenge. Tatsuki.

A Few Days After the Rescue…

Ichigo held the tiny Masaki against his chest. His stay in the medical division seemed to be dragging on very slowly and he was sure that the others were keeping things from him. His visitors were limited to family at the moment, maybe that's why they didn't let Tatsuki in? He had asked for her but they ignored him or distracted him easily with talk about his daughter. The tiny creature only a week old was the apple of her grandfathers eye.

"You should get some sleep Ichigo. I'll watch this little one for a while." Isshin reached to take the small infant away. He cradled her in his arms and Ichigo laid his head back admitting to himself how tired he was. He could certainly do with some pain relief as his lower back was aching beyond his pain threshold.

"Why won't they let Tatsuki in dad? I keep asking and no one answers me." Isshin looked from the petite pink face to that of his son. He looked thoughtful and carefully put the baby in the bassinette that sat beside the bed.

"We all want to know that you're okay. You know, that you're not too traumatised by what's happened to you these past 3 months."

"Has something happened? Did she go home?" Ichigo hated the idea that she didn't love him anymore but the thought had occurred to him that she had left having realised that she didn't care as much as she thought she did. Maybe she had never cared as much as he did for her. All these past months he'd worried about her and yearned to see her again. If anyone could sort his confused mind out it was her.

"Ichigo, there was an attack… A powerful hollow, we were unprepared." Ichigo didn't like the way his dad was talking he had already started to shake his head. He didn't want to hear this.

"No…" _Don't say it; don't say it…please don't._

"She died." Isshin whispered it, he was still badly affected by the sight of her broken bleeding body, and she hadn't stood a chance.

"No. No… Dad… NO." His face began to crumple and he felt the blocks of his mind start to crumble and disintegrate inside him. _I can't lose anyone else._

"I'm sorry Ichigo. I feel so responsible for her, I asked her to come with us. I said to her parents that I would look after her and… and I didn't did I?"

"No… Oh no…. Tatsuki." Ichigo held his hands over his eyes. He laid his head back in the bed his sense of dread persecuted his senses, screaming for it not to be real, for it to be a mistake. His mind cracked open, irrational thoughts crowded him and he violently pushed his dad away. He forced himself out of the bed, not really knowing what he was doing, it was all instinct making him want to thrash around at the absolute absurdity of the pain rising through his body all of it emotional agony that ripped the air from his lungs. "She can't be… she said… No… No it's not right."

Tears flooded down his face but he didn't even realise. Isshin tried to grab hold of his agitated son, but he was pushed away again and again. "I want her… She's here somewhere… it's not right… She's here isn't she?" His chest began to sear with intense waves of distress, his breathing increased until he was panting harshly sucking in breaths.

"Ichigo!" Isshin finally got a hold of the teen's arms and locked his gaze onto the scared chocolate orbs. At last he saw the face of his dad, the face who saved him from himself after his mother died and he fell into the welcome arms.

It wasn't right that one person felt so much pain over and over again during their life.

At 17 Ichigo had suffered more than anyone Isshin knew of. He had lost count this year alone of how many times he had held his son like this. It wasn't right. He had failed. Failed Masaki and Ichigo when they needed protection from the Grand Fisher, failed to stop Ichigo falling into the war, failed to stop Aizen hurting him, failed to stop Aizen taking him away, failed him again when his girlfriend lost her life.

What sort of father was he?


	7. Recaptured

_Hello_ thinking.

_**Hello**_ Hichigo

**Hello** Zangetsu

The Future and a Recapture…Somewhere in Seireitei…

Ichigo laughed at the beautiful pink cheeks on his daughter giggling as he pretended to throw her up in the air. Her orange curls fluttered around her ears and she squealed in delight. The happy sound of them both laughing carried through the garden.

"What a beautiful vision." Ichigo's heart leapt and caught Masaki in his arms turning to the voice he dreaded.

"Aizen."

"Ichigo." He held out a hand to him. "Come."

"No."

"No?" Aizen cocked his head to the side. "She is beautiful."

Ichigo was running before he could think.

"Going my way?" Grimmjow held the bleeding unmoving twins in his arms in front of Ichigo, behind him Isshin was on the floor in a pool of blood.

The Bargain…

"I want one thing then you can have your son. It's the only thing no one else can give me." He was on his knees desperate to save himself and his little girl. His baby that sat oblivious to the pain of her mother. Aizen's usual techniques of pain seemed to be working. His foot ground into the boy's hand. A bargain was his only tool to feel that he was at least fighting against what was happening to him. He had seen his sisters knocked out cold, his father's motionless body in the house, all dead for all he knew. What else did he have but to fight for his survival for the sake of his daughter? Right now, she was all he had. He was all she had.

"Name it." Aizen smiled admiring the tears that were streaming down his love's face.

"I want the Grand Fisher. I want to kill him." He could not have said anything more wonderful.

_All things come to those who wait._ As a reward Aizen removed his foot. "You think you can handle him?"

"I have met him twice before."

_I know. I made it possible. _He held out a hand towards Ichigo and the boy took it, letting Aizen pull him to his feet. "And yet you live…if I arrange it, what do I get? You know that I am busy running a war. I do not have time to trifle anymore with your petty self obsessed emotions."

The war had only began as a result of his appearance to claim back HIS Ichigo, but as it was planned that way, it was no hardship to loose the first of his subordinates; they had been getting a little big for their boots anyway. Now this little drama unfolding today, was also going to plan and Aizen watched as Ichigo gave a quick glance to the pretty child sitting quietly on the floor chewing her fingers.

"I'll have your son." The face gathered its resolution before it spoke. The face wore absolute but grim determination. He only had himself to rely on. What other options would he have? "Willingly?" Aizen raised an eyebrow. Ichigo inhaled deeply, gathering more reserves of his determination. A slight shimmer of pain passed as his broken bones creaked at the movement, but he leaned in and gave Aizen what he knew he would want, what he knew Aizen would take if he didn't give it sooner or later.

A kiss. Soft, lingering…almost believable.

"More than willingly." He forced himself to say. "To avenge my mother was the only thing left I wanted to do. You've taken everything else. Give me the Grand Fisher."

The last pieces of his plan with Ichigo was falling into place and he knew that the last would secure Ichigo as his. It would place Ichigo's heart securely where he wanted it.

"You share my bed, our bed." Ichigo nodded. "You give me more children." Ichigo nodded. "You call me Sosuke." Ichigo nodded. "You let me love you how I want to." Ichigo nodded.

"Yes Sosuke." Ichigo whispered.

Aizen nodded a dismissal to Grimmjow and the panther took his blade away from above the child's head. Ichigo, sighed a relieved sigh and scooped her up.

Months Later….

Ichigo spun around startled at the slap that lashed at his face without warning. He cautiously looked to Aizen, a hand covering his pink smarting cheek.

"Why are you not pregnant!"

"I don't know. I can't make it happen." Ichigo should have known better than to use that mocking tone.

"Don't talk to me like I am stupid!" He grabbed him by his hair and shook him forcefully before throwing him backwards. Ichigo stumbled back, his hip crashing into the desk and knocking the arrangement of pens and brushes across the floor. Ichigo bent quickly to pick them up and groaned as a foot crashed into his side, throwing him across the room.

"Daddeeee." A toddler Masaki cried from the doorway to her room.

"Why is she not in bed?" Aizen his voice laced with anger.

"I don't know; she was." Ichigo snapped back his scared face and quickly wiped his eyes as he stood. "Come on poppet. Quickly back to bed." He scooped her into his arms as she began to cry and quickly rushed her out of the main bedroom into her own. He placed her down in the cot stroking her head and felt the energy of Aizen enter the room. "Go to sleep sweetheart, everything is fine." He smiled at the child who sniffled and clenched the corner of her coverings.

"I told you I wanted her in bed before I return!"

"Please Sosuke not in here." Ichigo turned his back to the cot and stood between the angry man and his daughter. He didn't want her used again as an excuse to make him comply; just as he didn't want her to witness what happened to him. "She was in bed. She can get herself out now."

"Then make her stay there!" He slapped Ichigo again and Masaki screamed. "This is not good enough. If you can't control her, I will see that she causes no further trouble!" He jabbed a finger into Ichigo's chest and frowned at he noise she was making.

"Please Sosuke." Ichigo's voice was over wrought with worry. "You said… you wouldn't do this in here… I'm sorry." He kept moving his body to keep between the pair and taking the blows to his face.

"Your sorry isn't good enough! I also heard you left the room."

"Lunch didn't arrive again, she was hungry." He cried now, his face stung, there was the taste of blood in his mouth and he knew this wasn't going to be the last of it tonight. With Masaki crying behind him, he felt so torn leaving her to sob like that. Aizen raised his reiatsu around Ichigo and forced him to his knees. Ichigo wept as he watched helplessly as Masaki was hauled by one arm from her cot and delivered to Ulquiorra after Aizen called out his name. This had obviously been planned from the start. "No, Sosuke no! Please… Don't do this!" Ichigo frantically fought the pressure pinning him down but restrained with the bracelet he was too weak to fight it.

"You can have her back when you are pregnant." Came the deafening sentence as the presence around him lifted.

"You take her away from me and it'll be the last thing you do to me!" Ichigo screamed desperate to get to his feet and catch her before Ulquiorra had left the room.

He managed to run ahead to the door, barring the Espada's way. His hand had snatched up a tall tea cup that Aizen drank from. "She is not leaving this room." He said with conviction. The sad green eyes turned to see what his master's orders were.

"Don't be stupid Ichigo." Aizen did not look amused. Ichigo crashed the cup on the side of the wall and held a large shard to his lower abdomen.

"Is stupid making sure, I'm useless to you?" He said pressing the shard towards himself enough to make his skin bleed. If hurting himself was the only way to see that Masaki stayed, then he would do it. He'd risk his own life for her without a moment of hesitation.

Aizen wondered if the boy was that unhinged and he certainly did seem to be. Of course this was Ichigo, the boy who risked his life just for his friends. For his own child, he certainly would be serious. He stood there his own face bloody and tears of determination falling down his cheeks. His chest was hitching with the uncontrollable fear he was feeling.

By now the child was leaning forward, her arms outstretched for Ichigo and her sobs were hysterical. Aizen nodded to let him have her.

Ichigo closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her tightly. The broken cup already discarded onto the floor. He was quick to ignore his own distress and hold her stroking her fears away, singing softly to her and rocking his body slowly.

Aizen dismissed his loyal subordinate and walked towards Ichigo. He wrapped his own arms around him meeting the rocking motion for the child between them and pressed his lips into Ichigo's ear. "I'm sorry Ichigo. Forgive me I was being foolish." Tender hands stroked down the erratic hair and smoothed away the tears that had fallen. Ichigo sobbed and leant into the shoulder and accepted the words of comfort without doubt. He had to believe them, he had to trust that it was sincere. What else did he have?

Just Another Month or so, Just Another Day…

Ichigo sat with Masaki on his lap on the sofa, his legs along its length. The child had fallen asleep, the wound on her face still looked sore from where Aizen had used her yet again against him this morning. She had fallen asleep, crying in his arms as he'd sat there rocking her and he had now slumped low on the soft leathery daybed and let his head rest back. There was only one thing he felt right now – abused, mistreated, and despondent at Aizen's cruelty to them both. The never ending cycle was wearing him down bit by bit. He couldn't bare to even wake each morning.

The door to the room opened and he watched the same humble hollow come into the room as he did every day. Just a lowly hollow who managed to keep his life by doing the menial jobs. He fretted around picking up the items of clothing that were requiring cleaning and stuffing them onto his trolley. He had new bedding and he changed all the beds and cot just as he did yesterday and the day before that. He refreshed all the bathroom towels and cleaned it until it was spotless. Not once did the creature make a sound. He just did the chores. He survived. He'd come again tomorrow.

Ichigo adjusted his aching back, Aizen had not been gentle and he felt tender just about everywhere. He closed his eyes letting the smell of his daughters newly washed hair drift like a relaxant into his mind.

Why when he knew Aizen's tricks would he still fall for the same ones over and over? Why couldn't he just be like that hollow and just do what he had to do quietly and they'd both have an easier time of it. Couldn't he just control his impulsive anger for the sake of Masaki and just be a quiet subordinate?

_Just give up Ichigo; no one is coming for you. No one is going to get you out of this. If you can't do it yourself, then you have to submit, give up ……………maybe you have to change tactics? …………. Aizen is never going to let you go and the only way to be free of him is if he is dead. Hah, who would possibly be able to kill him? They've all seen his sword and would fall under his illusions as soon as he looked at them… He's predicted and planned everything – even me and this pregnancy farce………………..had he predicated me falling for this love crap too? Probably or he'll make sure I do with some spell or illusion…………………….. Nah to fool him, you'd have to come up with something he'd never predict…………………God I hate him…I wish I hated him._

He tensed at the soft drift of a hand down the side of his face and opened his eyes.

"Did I wake you?" Aizen asked, sitting next to him.

"I wasn't asleep." Aizen looked at his blue bruised eye and regretted his force this morning. It isn't any wonder the boy tensed up all the time.

_If he'd just stop being so bull headed about everything…Maybe if he isn't pregnant yet, I could use that treat I had been planning? That way he would comply as he had nothing else to fight for._ He watched Ichigo carefully cradle the child in his arms as he scooted along the sofa away from him and stood. It hadn't gone unnoticed that he grimaced at his movement, stood painfully slowly and walked bracing himself towards the child's room. Aizen followed him.

"Let me heal you."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." Aizen just lightly touched the boy's side and he let out a groan of pain.

"Ichigo, your stubbornness won't heal you and if you want my gift, you're going to need to be in top condition."

"Gift? Is this going to be something for your benefit?" Ichigo didn't disguise the disgust in his voice.

"This is me keeping our bargain. If I fulfilled your criteria, you would comply willingly. I realise that your hesitation to bow to my charms may be that I have yet to fulfil all my promises to you. Stark has found the Grand Fisher."

"…" _The boy really doesn't know his father killed that hollow an age ago?_

"You see, like this you will not be a match for such a powerful Hollow."

"You'd let me fight?"

"Oh I'll do more than that…I'll even help you with your training. Everyday from now on, you and I could work on your skills. Everyday that you're not pregnant or caring for our son that is."

"This bracelet?" Ichigo held up his wrist and Aizen looked at the band of silver. His hand clasped around it and pulled it off.

"What bracelet?" Aizen smiled as Ichigo took it back into his hand and looked at the innocent piece of jewellery. "Can I heal you now?" Ichigo looked at the man and his warm brown eyes giving a hint of agreement with a tiny nod. The bracelet slid into Ichigo's pocket and let his now free hand grasp Aizen's.

"Give me the Grand Fisher and I'll try to learn my place." Aizen let out a laugh.

"This I would like to see Ichigo." His hand brushed the boy's cheek again and his finger slid into the hair on the back of his head pulling his face closer to meet Aizen's.

"I would like to see you submit, to obey…to love." He whispered before pressing his lips against Ichigo's strangely willing ones. Two can play with illusions.

…

Today's illusion was a dead hollow fighting a red headed boy in the training rooms.

"Wha da he think he's doing?" Gin readied his sword looking at the blank chocolate eyes.

"Fighting the Grand Fisher." Aizen informed him.

"And ya gana ta let me fight im?" Gin could barely contain his excitement.

"Just showing you my consideration Gin. So long as you stop when I say."

"Can I urt im?" He had a gleeful look in his eyes.

"Within reason." The warning tone replied after a brief kiss. "I still need him to produce a son."

…

Ichigo's mind was awash with victory as his tired eyes opened in bed a day later.

"Ohh shit." He held his side as he tried to sit.

"I didn't think they'd healed you very well after that fight." Aizen's voice was across the room somewhere behind him and Ichigo could hardly move to see.

"Masaki?"

"As you can see, she is very well." Surprise crept on Ichigo's face as Aizen stepped into his view, holding a contented and even smiling Masaki. She was tugging at his hair and patting his cheek as if they he was a kind warmly father figure. "She certainly is a beautiful child. Such lovely colouring." Aizen gently stroked the top of her head as he walked closer to the bed. "You see, your worries are unfounded Ichigo. I will give you everything in my powers." He placed the child onto Ichigo's chest and she squealed happily at Ichigo and placed a very wet kiss on his chin.

"Dad dad bye byes."

"And bright too it seems. I told her you were sleeping." Aizen pulled back the bed clothes to admire the now yellowing bruising and healing stab wounds. Gin had got a little carried away, but he'd been punished for that. The small child made her way to the edge of the bed and threw herself off feet first and went to wander off for her toys. Ichigo was more than surprised at how at ease she was left in her fathers care.

"Family is a strange thing I had never experienced before Ichigo. Now I can understand your worry at losing your father and sisters."

"Family?"

"Isn't that what we are? Family?" He made a wide gesture to encompass the playing red headed toddler and Ichigo looked to Aizen, his shocked expression conveying this was a new strange idea. Aizen's fingers lightly touched the inflamed wound on his side. "Family looks after each other, cares for each other… loves each other." Aizen threw his healing light over the wound he had deliberately left to heal naturally. This little illusion of family harmony certainly seemed to be creating the spark of confusion he hoped it would.

"I…"

"You wanted to be with your family Ichigo, _you already are_." The words were said softly and Ichigo closed his eyes, feeling the pain of remembering his father and sisters bodies as he was taken from the garden back to here. "Sussssssh……I'll always be here for you." Yet again Aizen comforted him.

Expecting Twins…

Ichigo wondered why they had seen no one today. He didn't like the idea of leaving the room, but Masaki was hungry and his stomach was rumbling too. With the news from Szayel he was expecting again this morning, he wasn't surprised. The sickness had been way worse than with Masaki and at first he'd just thought it was a stomach bug, but the way his nipples ached painfully and the fowl metallic taste in his mouth, he knew that he was. The idea of twins was strange, but then maybe that explained why he felt as sick as he did. So with most of his meals going down the toilet, he certainly felt that hunger now quite keenly.

"Ah which way? Which way?" He stood wondering at the end of the corridor, talking to himself really, but Masaki holding his hand pointed one way. "As good as any I guess." He agreed and they made their way down the faceless corridors.

"Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra spoke to his master as he sat viewing the screens.

"Erm?" He asked looking up as he watched Ichigo leave the room.

"You asked for me?"

"I did…" He went back to viewing the screen. "Tell me what happened to the fraccion (SP?) That was meant to be cleaning my rooms and feeding my family?"

"I found him dead in the residential corridors. I am unsure who killed him."

"Well Ichigo appears to be heading towards the throne room. Direct him where he wants to go and keep him there for me. I need to finish some things up before I deal with his lack of discipline."

Ulquiorra stepped out of the shadows causing Ichigo to flinch.

"Aizen-sama is not pleased with you." He stated in his saddened tone as usual.

"We are human, we need food." Ichigo scowled at the man. "Or did he want us to die of starvation in our rooms?"

"I will take you to the dining room." Ulquiorra turned and Ichigo stooped to pick up Masaki and placed her on his hip before following. He really didn't feel so good and this walk and blank bright white walls were giving him a headache. Masaki moaned and grumbled as her tummy whined.

As they arrived in the dining room, Ichigo wished that the floor would open up and swallow him as the room was crowded with baying and snarling hollows. He instinctively held Masaki tighter and stepped closer to Ulquiorra, dropping his head to avoid a drunken styled brawl just because he'd looked at someone.

"Sit." Ulquiorra took them to a clear table and Ichigo sat with Masaki on his lap. Her hungry cries were alerting a lot of attention and he jiggled her on his lap. The food arrived swiftly, it always did for the Espada ranks. Ichigo pushed a slice of bread into Masaki's hand and she settled quickly munching on the crust. Ichigo bit into the strange food, it never paid to think too much about what it was. It certainly was not food considered normal by his human standards.

Nell as usual was happy to great her favourite human.

"Witchigo!" She beamed and headed over.

"Hello Nell." She clutched his arm and rested her head against it. Ulquiorra looked disdainfully at them both.

"Wooze ungwee?" She prodded his food and he lifted something long and white off his plate and held it to offer it to her.

"Yeah." Masaki took it from his hand instead and bit with her new and only four front teeth into it.

"Perty Babbee." She said patting Masaki on the head. Ichigo didn't let many people touch his little girl, but Nell was one of the few. Each time she managed to squeeze unnoticed into his room, she would play happily with the child.

"You okay?"

"Cept meanie Gwimmjow kweeps being orrible." She pouted and as if on cue…

"Neliel Tu Oderschvank!" The sixth Espada spat entering the room. "What are you doing?"

"Ungwee." She said looking up at him with her wide eyes. Grimm growled and slapped her face, she fell back into Ichigo's chair and Ichigo with his quick reflexes picked her up and stood scowling at Grimm a child on each hip.

"Leave her alone!" Ichigo snapped at him.

"Going to make me?" He said only an inch from Ichigo's face. Their eyes wide and menacing.

"Aizen-Sama will not be pleased if his project is injured." Ulquiorra chimed in.

"He shouldn't even be in here!" Grimmjow turned his attention on the fourth jabbing his finger into Ichigo's chest...


	8. The Good the Bad & the Ugly

The Dining room in the Laaarge Castle…

"I am aware that Ichigo is here." Aizen's smooth voice swept around them. "Take your paw off him Grimmjow." Aizen flicked the jabbing hand away. "Ichigo, finish your meal, I will deal with you later."

Ichigo expression of panic, spread a smile across the sixth face. He crossed his arms and looked at Ichigo with a smug grin.

…

Aizen felt aware of Ichigo's unease as they walked silently from the dining rooms into their suite. They walked past the usual baskets of washing, today there were two instead of the usual one, but it didn't occur to Ichigo what was going on until it was too late. Ichigo noted the rooms had been cleaned whilst he was gone. It seemed almost clinical now, but it didn't look finished. The cleaning hollow stepped out of the bathroom his trolley full of the usual items they cleaned with.

"Wait." Aizen ordered the creature and it stood awaiting its command to leave.

"Ichigo…" Aizen turned to him instead. "Remove your clothes." The tone was not one Ichigo ever minced with. He put the child down and looked nervously towards the hollow who didn't seem intent on giving him some privacy in his own rooms.

He stripped down to his underwear and with a beet red face removed that too. The hollow took the items and placed them on his trolley. Aizen followed the hollow to the door and securely locked it.

Ichigo had made his way to the closet and opened it to find it empty.

"What?" He said his unease at being naked forgotten momentarily.

"They have been removed." Aizen said coldly. "I have had the room stripped of anything you could use as clothing."

"What!" He turned around startled. "Are you kidding me!"

"No. Ichigo I do not find this a joking matter. Indeed when I found you, you were engaged in a precursor of a fight with Grimmjow. It is purely for situations like that that the measure was required. Without your clothes you will not be able to leave the rooms. Would you prefer that I bind you to our bed?"

"For how long are you going to do this?" Ichigo tempered his responses these days and facing an angry Aizen wasn't a time to challenge him at all. He was just waiting for it to boil out to the surface. Maybe if he could placate him somehow. He wished for something anything to hide himself from the mans gaze right now.

"Until I see fit."

"I am sorry Sosuke-sama that I upset you." He lowered his voice to a submissive one and looked down at the mans feet.

"Why then do you test my patience so?"

"I truly did not intend to, we were hungry." Aizen noticed the slight tremble to the boy as he took his chin his hand. "Sosuke... I promise I won't leave the rooms again… Being naked like this…"

"Suits me just fine." Aizen finished his sentence for him and kissed him on the lips softly. "Its for your protection Ichigo that I have to treat you like this. When you have pleased me sufficiently, I shall reconsider."

Everywhere that Ichigo went for the next few weeks seemed to mean that he had to sleep in the bed that had no covers, or that Aizen was a hairs breath from him, causing him to run into him or just brush against him. He made no allowance for the sickness Ichigo was suffering or his dignity by calling all his meetings in the suite and letting the boy wake up each time a group of leering Espada. The humiliation was just as he wanted it to be and Ichigo felt himself drowning further inside himself.

"Ichigo." Aizen sat on the sofa reading his book and looked down at Ichigo who's head was nestled on his lap. The powerful man stretched along the sofa's length, Ichigo's body between his legs just resting. The boy certainly had no idea the affect that his constant naked body was doing to him alone, never mind the way his fingers were tracing along the seam of his pants. It was a simple thing and Ichigo was not even aware of what he was doing. For his own part, Ichigo was bored, chilled and so seeking warmth and quite tired having stopped Masaki pulling out all the lower shelves of books for goodness knows how many times today.

"Erm?" He adjusted his head as Aizen stroked the tendrils of red hair leaning against him. He stilled instantly feeling the mans erection press through his against his cheek.

_Again?_

"Please me." He ordered. Ichigo sat himself on his elbows and stroked on hand across the strained fabric. Aizen let his head fall back against the arm of the sofa and breathed out a long pleasant sigh. Ichigo tugged on the sash and slid the waist of the trousers down just enough to free the upright erection. With tentative movements Ichigo slid his tongue down its length and nipped at its bases gently. A guttural moan escaped Aizen's lips as Ichigo slid the length into his mouth, flattening his tongue to take the full length to the back of his throat and using it to coax a firm grip around the shaft. Aizen shuddered his hips upright and pressed Ichigo's head down. He bucked and rode the boy like a navie too suddenly wrapped up in the fire in his groin. Ichigo snorted air through his nose frantically and turned his mind away from choking. "Sit on me!" He cried out already too close to coming. Ichigo let his legs dangle over the side of the sofa and lowered himself down onto the length to sit on his masters lap. Aizen's hips worked him upwards and Ichigo slammed himself down hard, their breathing erratic and horse.

With a muffled cry Aizen released himself into Ichigo and lay there panting harshly for a moment, his limp member twitched inside Ichigo.

"Not enough." Aizen breathed into Ichigo's neck. "Hold yourself Ichigo. Let me see your release."

As ever favouring his right hand Ichigo obeyed and wrapped a hand around his erection and hiding his reluctance, began to pump away.

Aizen admired the boy and his strained face, he looked beautiful, he looked even more fuckable with that lustful expression. The sound of his breath and the motion of his thrusting resonated through his lap and his own erection stirred inside the tight cavern of Ichigo's ass.

Ichigo whimpered as he felt the fullness returning. Aizen grinned as a knock on his door sounded. Ulquiorra, Stark and Grimmjow stepped into the room. Their amused faces watched the boy rock on their masters lap, whimper and moan as he ground his erection to compliance. He shuddered as his seed splashed up his chest and over his hand. He leant into Aizen's chest as he calmed until the smug laughter of Grimmjow entered his consciousness. Ichigo whipped upright his face only registering shocked embracement.

_Oh even more fuckable now. _Aizen thought. "Ahh gentlemen, I _hadn't_ forgotten our meeting." Aizen said as Ichigo buried his head in Aizen's haori.

Yet More Months Later…Naked Punishment Over…

Ichigo held Masaki in his arms. She was tired and he spoke to her as if she was old enough to understand all his ramblings. At a year old, she didn't understand at all, but she always appeared content at the sound of his voice. For once he had been allowed a walk outside his room guarded by Ulquiorra.

They were nearing the rooms when Szayel appeared from Aizen's room next door.

"You are to come with me." He said with his creepy smile.

"Why? I thought everything was fine!" Ichigo felt a state of panic rising. He'd endured the tests this morning; his pregnancy with twins seemed to be progressing fine. The sickness was horrendous, but they didn't care about that.

"Aizen-sama is not happy."

"But he said he was! He let me go for the walk because he was!" Ulquiorra had grabbed his arm by now as the teen seemed to rise in his agitation. Outside his room, he did not want to lose his charge.

"One of them is female." Ichigo's eyes opened wide in horror. "He does not wish to have female children." It all made sense all of a sudden. The way Aizen could threaten her life so easily, he never took notice of her unless he was about to crush her skull or strangle her in a fit of threats to get Ichigo to conform. "Ulquiorra will take your daughter. You will come with me."

"NO, I'm not handing her over!" The child began to cry, her fingers clung to the fabric of his haori.

"Your choice human. Either you let her go, or Aizen will kill her. She is already a distraction he does not want to have. Killing her would be no bother to us."

Ulquiorra let go if Ichigo tugged at the child's waist as Szayel clipped the restraining bracelet around a resistant wrist.

"NO, DON'T DO THIS… DON'T TAKE HER AWAY!" Ichigo screamed. "IF YOU HURT HER, I'LL KILL YOU!" The simple thud to the back of his head saw him crumple to the floor unconscious. The child screamed, thrashing around in the tight grip that held her.

"What do I do with a child?"

"Take her and put her in that bed thing. She'll wear herself out screaming and fall asleep…" Szayel summoned his subordinates to pick up the body on the floor. "Or failing that, use a sleeping kido."

…

Ichigo woke sore in his bed. He looked around confused for a moment, his mind trying to understand how he was suddenly in bed. A look at his wrists showed the tell-tell signs of restraints, the bracelet gone. His lower back ached and stung as he moved his position.

"You are awake." The voice of Aizen came from the left and he looked at him with a foul stare.

"Masaki?"

"Sleeping. She is quite unharmed." He watched amused as the teen tried to move from the bed, but found he was unable. "We took the precaution of reusing those handy vials of poison that paralyze you. You need to rest. It would be a waste for both of the babies to die." Aizen patted the stomach that as yet barely showed.

"What have you done to me?"

"Merely took away what was not meant to be." He said calmly. "Now I would like you to rest."

"You killed my baby?" Ichigo whispered shocked at the understanding.

"Our." Aizen said.

"How can it be** ours **when you are so heartless? You are a bastard!" Ichigo wanted to jump out of the bed and sink his fists into that smug bastards face. He wanted to tear him limb from limb. "You even hate Masaki don't you!"

"It is not possible to hate something you care nothing for. I simply feel nothing towards the child."

"I want her. I want her here now!"

"As you wish." Aizen nodded and made a move towards the adjoining room.

"I wish! I wish to be let free. I wish to get out of this fucking hole and go home." He screamed his eyes welling up and tears splattering his speech. "I hate you!"

The slap was harsh but Ichigo looked defiantly at the man who dealt it. He didn't wipe the blood that dripped from the cut lip or remove his hair that whipped into his face. "I will beat it out of you if I must Ichigo. You will love me. You will adore me and worship the ground I step upon." Ichigo's breathing hitched in fear as the man violently discarded the bed clothes. He was naked from his dealings in the labs and Aizen smiled his lust full gaze sliding up and down the helpless form.

"Here." He touched the tender belly and Ichigo winced. "You hold the life of OUR child. Just think of the torment that losing them both would cause you? Not emotionally because you failed, but because of the pain and torture I can put you through as punishment for losing it. Submit and the child lives. Struggle and you independently cause its death."

"Keep your hands off me."

"Ulquiorra will look after that abomination you named after your mother. You will rest until the safety of this baby is assured."

"So get your filthy hands off me."

"Sex does not in itself harm the child Ichigo. So long as there is no undue pressure or violent acts, this child is protected well inside you. I am merely trying to relieve you of your distress." He spoke as he climbed on to the bed over Ichigo's legs. He slid his hands up the teen's thighs and bent to take the soft member in his mouth. Ichigo shook his head and whimpered. He didn't want this. Not like this. Not after losing the little girl.

Aizen's hands however knew how to arouse the teen and soon the erection was stiff in the suckling mouth. His sacs were teased and his entrance, however sore, ached to feel pleasure. Aizen smiled as Ichigo's panting showed how aroused he was. He slid his tongue around the opening slit, nipped it gently with his teeth and then let his tongue trail down the sides. Warm moist lips fastened around the entire length as his finger caressed inside him. He found the spot he needed, causing Ichigo to bow his back letting out a strangled humiliated cry. The groans were a mutilated mixture of pain, pleasure and distress. It was music to the dictator's ears.

His erection pushed into the lubricated hole and his senses filtered in the pained spasms, the whimpered cries.

Ichigo screamed as his orgasm rose too high.

"Sosuke!" His wet warm fluid lashed on his chest and stung at its pleasure. His penance for enjoying the act caused sobs of distress to pour from his mouth.

Aizen juddered as he yanked himself free to spill his own juice over the teen's chest. Such sweet and subtle torture was just the kind he savoured. Ichigo cried, covering his eyes and Aizen smiled.

The next sensation Ichigo felt was a warm damp cloth wiping him clean. It was an act of devotion in the delicate care it took. Every crease and fold of his skin was washed and cleansed. Soft lips touched his pained abdomen and traced their way up to his broken lips. "Sorry." They whispered. "I love you." Over and over before pulling the distraught boy into the firm powerful chest.

Aizen took with one hand and restored with the other. Such a contradiction was confusing and Ichigo couldn't help but lean into this embrace as he yearned for comfort and knew this was his only source. He was a traitor. A traitor to himself.

"Carrying twins must be an additional drain on you." Aizen spoke. "I only want the best for you Ichigo. You understand that don't you? It's all because I love you. You should not drive me to such lengths to show it too you. You really must learn to accept that I know what's best and just do as I tell you."

Mummies Birthday…

"_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Ichigo, happy birthday to you!" _Ichigo was amazed at the sight of a birthday cake complete with 18 candles carried by Aizen and Masaki following at his heels with a huge grin and piece of paper in her hands. He sat himself up in the bed.

"Dappy Burtday!" Masaki climbed up next to him. "Bdow da dandles!" She smiled widely.

"I would but I can't even see them over this lump!" He laughed at Aizen for putting the cake so low his almost ripe belly obscured the entire thing.

"Help blow the candles." Aizen surprised Ichigo again as he spoke to their daughter and even his laugher at her attempts to blow further than her nose. "All of us together, one two three, blow!" They all blew and the candles all flickered and went out.

"Yeah!" Father and daughter cried out.

"Pidture!" She held her drawing of random scribbles for Ichigo to hold.

"Wow, look at all those colours." He smiled at her. "Thank you honey." She knelt and crept up to give him a very wet sloppy kiss. "You taste of icing!" Ichigo said wiping the slobber from his lips.

"We had to ensure the cake was just right." Aizen smiled to the birthday boy. "The cooks were not too happy that we were there getting in the way."

"You did this together?" He accepted the slice of cake.

"And one bath later, here we are." He sat on the edge of the bed eating his own slice with Masaki sticking her fingers into his slice and removing a large finger of Icing. "I have no idea how you get that sticky stuff out of children's hair. I feel someone else may need to rewash her hair." Ichigo just looked at Aizen with a look of utter disbelief. "Eat! I didn't go to this trouble for you to take only one bite."

"I'm just…wow thank you." Ichigo really felt moved at the thought that went into this. For them to have even done it together was another thing.

"We have the day planned. There is a film to see and a special dinner organised. Plus some much needed pampering to be done."

True to his word, a projection of a film appeared on the white walls a while later, a film Aizen must have secured from the real world. They snuggled up together in the bed. The comedy was good therapy for a beached whale of an expectant mother and Ichigo felt good at laughing that much; the first time for months and months.

The treats went on as Ichigo found himself enjoying a luxurious bath with calming spices and blooms added to the water. Gentle foot massages to ease the acute swelling his ankles niggled from and finally when Masaki had gone to bed an elegant candle lit dinner was laid out for them outside on the balcony. A hollow waited on them as if they were at a swanky restaurant and Ichigo found himself eating many exotic foods from around the world with Aizen giving him a full detailed explanation of their history and origin.

Completely sated from the food Ichigo was happy to be carried back to the bed where he had been residing for the past few weeks on Szayel's orders.

"Here." Aizen handed him two elegantly wrapped presents. "Open them." The first, the larger one, was the missing books from of his favorite author, Terry Pratchett.

These would give him hours of amused reading and occupy the long hours to the arrival of this baby. The second was a necklace; just a simple chain of gold. Its simplicity surprised but pleased Ichigo, given as Aizen was for pomp and ceremony.

"A simple token of my love; something for you to wear and have with you always."

He took the jewel and placed it around Ichigo's neck, doing the clasp up and admiring the expression on the teens face.

"This has been an incredible day."

"Good." He leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead and turned off the side lamp. "I'll let you sleep now." He got up from the bed and went to leave.

"You're not ready for bed then?"

"Is that a problem?" Aizen always came to bed when Ichigo went to sleep for the night. It was a ritual that they had fallen into.

"Well…"

"Well?" _Was he blushing?_

"I don't sleep very well if your not here." Ichigo admitted hardly able to keep his eyes on the taller man.


	9. Gin Gin Gin

Hello thinking

Gin's Disappearance…

Ichigo placed the 4 month old baby boy down in his cot and went back into the main bedroom and smiled at Masaki as she picked up her bunny.

"Ta?" The energetic 18 month child said.

"Ta." Ichigo held out his hand for the little girl to hand it over.

Bunny in hand, Masaki gave it one neck choking cuddle and then held it out over Ichigo's lap as he settled on the edge of the bed.

"Ta!" She squealed happily.

"Ta." Ichigo smiled, wondering how long this game would go on for this time. Hours if she had her way!

"ICHIGO!" Aizen ran into the room, his hair dishevelled. He looked at the peaceful scene and frowned. He was sure he felt Gin here. Gin and that intent he'd had before.

"Tamotsu!" Ichigo looked up the colour draining out of his face as he heard the baby's scream echo around the small connecting room. Aizen and Ichigo headed for the door. They ran in, hearing the screams leave by the connecting door. The room was no longer Ichigo's old room but a lounge and play area for Masaki. Their feet ran on through the room as the sound disappeared down the hallway.

…

"Gin don't do something you will regret!" Aizen used his cool tone and a smile of ambiguity. He stepped closer to Gin, the infant in his arms now frenzied in its cries, Ichigo could hardly keep himself from the place Aizen had ordered him to wait at.

"I already regret not killing that bastard!" Gin pointed to Ichigo with his sword. One word of 'shoot' and Aizen knew Ichigo would be dead no matter how large this room was, Gin' blade would reach him and it would not miss the vital organs.

He tried to keep himself in a direct line between to two, Gin would never hurt him, he had been conditioned that way.

"I have told you, you will always be my partner. My second in command and my favourite."

"You sleep with him all the time! Its lies. All lies."

"Hand me my son and I will show you how much I care for you."

"As long as I have this brat, you won't hurt me." Ichigo winced at the way Tamotsu was flopped over Gin's arm and being thrown around without any caution.

"But you like me hurting you. You like it so much Gin, you ask me all the time. Now this is a little extreme don't you think? I can hurt you without all of this nonsense."

"He doesn't love you!" Gin pointed with the sword in his hand and Aizen shifted to stand at the blades point.

"But you do don't you Gin, that's why your going to give me the baby and them let me take care of you, just the way you like." Ichigo watched as Aizen was within a step of Gin. Gin shaking like a leaf, sobbed so that his entire body shook. Aizen lifted the baby up, its arms and legs flailed frantically snapping back and forth as he screamed loudly, his cries in broken heart wrenching sobs.

One large fatherly hand was enough to hold the child, whist the other suddenly lifted Gin by his neck, off the floor and pinned him to the wall.

"Ichigo, come and get the child."

Ichigo leapt at the chance to comfort the tiny creature and soothed his screams with a instant feed as he cradled the child inside his cloak. He was glad to leave the room and let Aizen do his sick stuff to Gin.

His mind could only think of nearly losing his son. The possibilities of what could have happened were just as frightening as if they had. Gin's screams were enough to support his unbridled hatred inside him for this place. A deep longing to be free and away from the pain and misery this midnight place revolved around. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be free so badly.

Frantic sucking and gargles of unspent annoyance later, the child began to settle.

Ichigo paced the long corridors back to their rooms.

Rocking Tamotsu, tapping him gently against his back, finally soothed the infant and Ichigo let his tears of fall.

_This is no place to bring up children_. He thought looking down at the child now peacefully sleeping in his cot. He wiped his tears with his hand, but more just fell.

Two arms wrapped around him and he lent into their strength and sobbed all the harder for the comfort. Lips touched against his ears and he was lost in whispers of love.


	10. Aizens Last Dance

Hello thinking

Years Later Aizen's Last Night …

Sosuke Aizen watched his monitors.

"The battle commences." Tousin commented behind him.

"It does." Aizen stood and placed a hand on the mans shoulder. "You know what I would like you to do."

"I do. Where shall you be in case?"

"I will leave this first wave under your care." This was a respect Aizen had not paid the blind man before and he patted Aizen's hand.

"Thank you."

The corridors were a hive of activity as each Arrancar took his Fraccions and made their preparations to fight.

"Aizen-Sama." Ulquiorra bowed to his master.

"I gave you some orders two years ago, do you remember them?"

"When the real fight starts, see that the Shinigami find Ichigo and take him to safety with the children, they are not to be wounded in any way and not to know of this plan." The loyal Hollow recited perfectly.

"Today is that day Ulquiorra. When the battle reaches the throne room I want you to execute it. Send them in my direction." The hollow bowed. "One more thing." Ulquiorra looked back. "See that Szayel Aporro Grantz dies today. The technology of male pregnancy is to be destroyed."

Aizen entered his suite via the lounge room and glanced around at the evidence of his children and his lover. He made his way to the desk noticing Ichigo's diary left out. In the past this had done him no good at all reading this book. It had made him angry with the ginger hair boy, as he read the passages about being held captive and forced into situations he could not handle. Ichigo had never understood the love Aizen was capable of, always pushing him away and requiring such drastic actions to conform. Maybe it was a request too much that he was loved back.

The last entry was a poem…

No sun – only moon,

No morn – only moon,

No dawn – no dusk – no proper time of day –

No sky – no earthly view –

No distance looking blue –

No road – no streets – no 't'other way –

No end of a row –

No indication of where my family go –

No recognition of people I know –

No courtesies for knowing them –

No one here I want to know –

No travelling at all – no locomotion –

No inkling of the way – no notion –

No go – by land or ocean –

No mail – no post –

No news from any foreign coast –

No park, no early morning toast –

No company – no nobility

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no heartfelt ease –

No comfortable feel in any member

No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees –

No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds –

No life for me.

Aizen picked up the pen left idle on the desk and wrote an entry of his own. He closed the book and left it where he had found it.

A sound came from the children's room and Aizen looked inside the darkened room and stroked the head of a sniffling Tamotsu. The 14 month old baby wriggled under his fingers and Aizen smiled at the soft silky hair. The room smelled of babies and shampoo and all things cleanly. Ichigo had proved to be a good mother, better than he could have ever hoped for.

It was true that he cared little for the girl and that had been of his choosing. But he couldn't deny the similarity to Ichigo and her angelic looks made Aizen recall wistfully the first time he had seen the ginger youth. All innocent bravado and cock sure attitude. Much had changed. The boy was most certainly not innocent now. Not full of boldness and confidence. Ichigo had changed and it was his fault.

But then Ichigo had changed him too, changed him from a single minded ambitious person to a soul with a conscience. It was his ruin.

Ichigo could not have settled long in the bed, as his hair was still damp under the brunettes touch and there was a powerful smell of his musk and vanilla body wash - a manly smell with feminine vibes.

Showering himself, he shed his towel beside the bed and climbed in to haul Ichigo into a tight embrace. The teen woke with a start at first and growled his irritation after, snarling over his shoulder at the damp man. "That was a good dream!"

"I shall dream of you." Aizen said softly into his ear and stroked the firm rounded bulge of their last procreation. Ichigo lay lulled by the soft calming strokes and hoped they would send him back to sleep. It was always a little alarming to get woken by Aizen. His intentions were not always clear in the manner in which he was woken. The anger could come in an instant.

For his part, Aizen watched the boy and his wide open eyes staring out into the darkness of the room. He could feel Ichigo's reiatsu fluttering in mild distress. Well, he would be free soon; his ordeal over. Aizen's guilt was too great these days and at last it was time to admit that he had been wrong. At least he had had enough hindsight to prepare for this eventuality too. Ulquiorra would protect his family until they were taken back to Soul Society. Ichigo could have the dream he wanted. He could have his freedom and his children safe. Aizen never imagined that his love for the boy would get him to this point. Push him to an extreme of letting something he loved go for the sake of their happiness.

Gradually Ichigo closed his eyes and slid back into a deep sleep. His fear and concerns unfounded. Aizen wasn't going to trouble him.

Aizen just wanted to hold him. One last time. One last time before he let himself be defeated.

Tomorrow, Hitsugaya Toshiro or Byakuya Kuchiki were going to kill him. He didn't want an empty life. He didn't want a life without Ichigo. But he was going to kill him if they stayed together. One punch to hard, one blind fury too many and Ichigo would pay the ultimate price for the devil inside Aizen Sosuke. Aizen knew he wouldn't survive his guilt if that happened.

The only way he could let Ichigo go would be if he let himself die. He had to die. Left alive, winning this war would mean that he would drive himself to hurt Ichigo again in the future. Even letting Ichigo go, he would be forced to give into his carnal needs and basic instincts. This boy was a drug he couldn't find release from. Only death could do that.

He loved him, like he'd never loved anything in his life.

Aizen smiled at the feel of a kick into his palm and kissed a naked shoulder before pressing into the warm figure and closing his eyes. There was time enough to enjoy this yet.

…

The room shook and Ichigo woke with a start. His thoughts instantly went to the children and he hurried into the adjoining room. He picked up Masaki as she cried and cradled the two and half year old. He held her and peered into the second cot and stroked the head of the 14 month old son who woke with the second loud crash. The ceiling shook and Ichigo popped Masaki down and pulled Tamotsu onto his hip. He clung to the hand of the toddler and headed back into the bedroom and screamed at the bed.

"Sosuke!" How could the man still be asleep!

"What Ichigo?" He answered sleepily. Another loud crash and the distinct sound of falling masonry could he heard. "They've come!" Aizen shot out of the bed.

"Who?"

"Soul Society." Aizen threw on his robes and Ichigo stood there mouth open staring at him. "Ichigo take the children to the lower chambers." He looked back at his pregnant partner and took in the shocked expression, fearing the worst. "We had a deal."

"I know…" Ichigo placed the children on the bed and looked back to Aizen. "I'm just…surprised. Don't let them hurt you!" Aizen frowned at the water filling Ichigo's eyes and started at him surprised as he came over and wrapped his arms around him.

"You are worried about me?"

"It takes this to make me realise I don't want them to hurt you." It was a half truth, he didn't want them to hurt him, but he hadn't only just realised it - actually - the absolute truth went deeper, but the safety of the children came before that could be said aloud.

Aizen smiled and bent to the 19 year old and placed a deep kiss on his lips. "Take the children and keep safe. I'll send someone to protect you all." He pulled away and Ichigo threw Zangetsu into his hand.

"Wait!" Aizen turned.

"I won't need protecting and I think you'll need everyone." Ichigo had learnt a lot from Aizen these past years and today, he'd show everyone just how much he'd learnt.

"My piece of mind." Aizen smiled and stroke Ichigo's cheek. "Come, I'll see you to the stairwell." Ichigo placed the brown haired child on his hip before holding Masaki's hand and nodding.

…

Ichigo stood at the top of the stair well. He could feel the presence of shinigami looming closer almost at their heels. He leant down to Masaki.

"Stay here for me. Stay right here. Hold your brother a moment for me."

"Ichigo. I want you to go down the stairs." Ichigo turned to the man he had shared his life with the past three years. His children beside him, his sword in his hand. He smiled at the man who swore he loved him.

"One moment. Just one…in case." He said leaning into Aizen to share a kiss.

"They are almost here." Aizen looked at Ichigo. He wouldn't have enough time to get their son somewhere safe. The baby inside him he knew was a boy, safe.

"I know…I'm not scared of them." Ichigo stroke Aizen's cheek.

"I love you." Aizen touched the stomach and kissed Ichigo back.

"I know you have planned everything."

"Everything, you do not need to worry."

"No. I don't…I don't have to worry about you anymore. I don't have to worry about the children…"

"I know, but you do. You said you didn't want them to hurt me." The door at the end of the corridor burst in and Ichigo stood unmoving looking into the deep eyes he had stared at for so long, trying to fathom all these years.

"Everything planned except that I didn't want them to hurt you."

"Ichigo. Go please."

The shinigami, all sensed Ichigo before they saw him. Him and Aizen were they in league? Ichigo didn't need to look around to see Byakuya, Ikkaku, Renji and Toshiro all staring bewildered at him.

"I didn't want them to hurt you."

"I hardly need your protection."

"No." Ichigo smiled. "You don't." He looked to his children.

Aizen looked startled at Ichigo, his eyes wider than Ichigo had ever seen. His face in complete shock. His mouth opened and blood trailed from the sides. The speed of the blade had been totally unpredicted and Aizen looked confused. Zangetsu dripped crimson blood onto the floor.

"Everything planned except that I didn't want them to hurt you. I wanted to do that. I wanted you to believe all my lies, so that I could be the one to kill you. I wanted you to see me as your killer. The one who murdered you, defeated you. The one who didn't ever fall into the trap and illusion you weaved. We can all plan, we can all predict and lie. Yes you taught me a lot. You taught me to become your weakness."

"You said…" The bloody bubbles seeped with his slurred speech, his powers noticeably diminishing.

"I hate you. I've always hated you. Now its you who's completely paralysed."

Aizen's eyes dulled, his legs crumpled and he slid to the floor. The only thing that could have ever beaten Aizen was an attack that he could not have foreseen.

He didn't foresee Ichigo. He didn't plan it like this. He didn't plan it like this…Ichigo…Better to die at your hand…I know I deserve this but...I still love you.

Ichigo slung Zangetsu onto his back and casually as if it was a daily occurrence, picked up Tamotsu and slid him onto his hip. Took the hand of Masaki and turned to the bewildered faces still staring at him.

"Where are we going?" The curls bounced and her chocolate eyes didn't see anything but the sight of her daddy smiling.

"Home sweet heart." Ichigo smiled.


	11. Homecoming

Hello thinking

The Home Coming…

The gates opened and the crowds of divisions began to march slowly back into the open spaces of Seireitei. Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai sat a proud Sōtaichō.

Division by division returned. Row after row of dark clad shinigami stepped back to the refreshing smell and sight of their home.

The war had been raging for three years and the spiritual centre of Soul Society had not gone totally without harm. Taller towers had toppled, some divisions were currently homeless and sharing with others. Many spirits had died. Residential areas had fared worse than the commercial, but there were some that had had to resort to sleeping in the indoor training grounds.

Builders had been recruited from all the surrounding districts and heavy construction was well underway.

The Sōtaichō had feared that these divisions would have suffered greater loses but his surprise at the swift ending of the war, was not as great as hearing who had made the fatal blow. The knowledge that to stop Gillian's attacking, you must take down the one that leads them, worked with the whole of Aizen's army. Without Aizen at the helm, chaos ran through the Espada and lower Hollows. They were easily whittled down to manageable numbers. He just needed the details and eagerly awaited the names of his captains to be rattled off as the victors.

"What of Tousin and Gin?" Yamamoto enquired of Hitsugaya, as his the last division, walked through the gate.

"Tousin fell near the beginning. The 7th and Sajin Komamura took him on."

"Old wounds healed I hope." Yamamoto sighed.

"Gin, has not been found. A thorough search and interrogation revealed that he hasn't been seen for almost a year. We can only assume that Aizen killed him at that time."

"And Aizen?"

"Killed not long after we arrived…"

The last groups of people began to filter through the gates and Hitsugaya noticed the crowds of well wishers and family awaiting the return of their loved ones. Much of the crowds had disappeared with the sightings of their husbands, wife, brothers…the ones that were left, were not going to be so lucky. Their loved ones were not going to return.

Yamamoto frowned and looked towards the gate as the last person stepped through, the sound of a crying infant catching his attention.

"… he was killed by…"

"Ichigo! Ichigo!" The face of Isshin lit at the sight of his now much taller son, children in arms. He pushed the people in front of him out of the way and ran ahead to the gate. He stopped short his smile wide. His son! His son stood there with a surprised face, long white robed tipped with orange. The ginger hair still the same, the beautiful little girl could only Masaki stood at his side, almost hiding behind his leg, another child resisting sleep in his arms and the pregnant mound showing another due.

"You're alive!" Ichigo whispered. "Dad! You're alive!" Ichigo's face broke into a huge smile and Isshin wrapped his arms around the whole group.

"Let me look at you, look at you all." Isshin cupped his granddaughters face in his hands. "You look so beautiful. Like the last time I saw you."

"This is your granddad." Ichigo smiled at her. "Say hello."

"Hello." She gave him a nervous smile.

"Dad this is Tamotsu." Ichigo showed the now screaming toddler. "A tired Tamotsu."

"Let me have you, you look like your causing trouble!" Isshin whipped the boy into his arms. "Lets take you home."

"Dad? The girls? Yuzu and Karin?"

"Now, there's a tale." Isshin laughed scratching the top of his head. "Seems Karin's quite a goer with a Zanpakutō and she's been busy here fighting. Yuzu, queen of organisation, works in the first division co-coordinating the communications to and from the real world. Everyone here has had to lend a hand somehow. Even I've been back with my old unit and getting my hands dirty. You know, it kept us busy…We were so worried about you…and here you are, with another one on the way. What are you seven months?"

"Five, twins."

"Holy mother."

"That's not quite how I reacted." Ichigo smiled.

"You must be tired then carrying this lump all that way. Come on." Isshin watched his son take the hand of his daughter and lift her up. She was tired too after that walk.

"We lost the house a year ago. I'm staying with an old friend of yours."

"Byakuya said Rukia would like to see me. He said we could stay there. But he had to move out with his division."

"Ahh no worries then its not far." Isshin looked at the beautiful little girl and her red hair resting on Ichigo's shoulder. "Come on you, I think he's tired too, would you like to ride on my shoulders?" She nodded and smiled and Ichigo wondered how she just managed to like everyone she met. So was so trusting of all the adults around her. Even the Arrancar's had not worried her.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Yamomoto called walking with his rustic looking stick that held the secret of his Zanpakutō. Ichigo looked at the man, cautious.

"I would be honored if you met me for lunch tomorrow."

"Sir." Ichigo nodded. He guessed that they were going to want some information from him. He didn't even know how much he could tell them, he stayed away from anything that had the potential to harm his friends, and the children took a lot of his time.

"It is good to see you return safely."

"Thank you." Ichigo walked away with Isshin recounting details of Karin's new love life and Hitsugaya tutted. He didn't want to be the gossip of the Kurosaki family.

The Kuchiki Home…

"Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! Ichigo!" Rukia ran forward and hugged him. "When Nii-sama said you were coming I didn't believe it!" She gave him an impulsive peck on the lips. "And lookie at these darlings!" She smiled at the children.

"Rukia, your manners." Byakuya spoke. "Come and sit Ichigo, I'll have some refreshments served." He showed them into the sitting room.

Ichigo was more than happy to finally sit and rest his aching back and feet that were ready to drop. He sat and welcomed his little girl on his lap and soothed her hair as she snuggled over the rounded bulge as if made for her comfort.

"You look really good!" Rukia smiled.

"I look pregnant. What did you expect? To find me all bloody and beaten up?"

"I'm glad your not. Were you planning a football team?" She tried to make light of situation, stroking Tamotsu's hair as he slept on his grandfather's lap.

"I think an army was more of what he had in mind." Ichigo said dryly.

"Ichigo they're your kids."

"No apparently I'm just a vessel, the children are his perfect army. He wouldn't ever even use their names, so how fatherly is that?" He looked at the surprised faces looking at him. "Sorry, how to kill a conversation."

"I just hated the thought that Aizen was hurting you." Rukia said apologetic. She was still surprised to see him after all this time and her thoughts hadn't gathered into sensible questions. He seemed to be a different person.

"It was a game, that's all. Play his game how he wants and it was fine. He was actually alright, Gin was the problem, so I tried to stay away from him…Sorry Rukia. I'm just tired its been a very long day."

"Maybe you would prefer to rest now." Byakuya suggested. "I have asked for rooms to be made ready for you."

"I'll bring this little laddie for you." Isshin stood.

"Actually dad, give me a hoist." Ichigo smiled tucking a hand under Masaki's bottom and groaning as his dad, yanked him up right, Masaki still held to his chest.

"My home does not seem to suit a pregnant person." Byakuya looked thoughtfully at the ground level seating.

Ichigo was glad for his dad's help in the bedroom, as the futon beds were not convenient for him to place a sleeping Masaki down. But the two children nestled close to each other and Ichigo was pleasantly surprised at their relaxed state considering they had never left their rooms bar a couple of occasions.

"There you go. They look happy enough." Isshin smiled at the two children comfortable on the bed and seeing his son's face with that parental glow as he looked at them.

"Dad?" Ichigo's face which revealed its feelings all of a sudden. "I really missed you. I thought that you were dead."

"Yeah, well we missed you too." Isshin said seriously. "You're not too old and grown up now for a hug are you?"

"No." Ichigo replied and relished the hug, both of them giving in to a few relieved tears. "I never imagined that I would be standing here today. It's all a dream. I'm going to wake up and find myself back in that room."

"I would have come for you if I could. It killed me what I found that there was little I could do. But the war started here and things got... messy. Still, your here now and that bastard won't ever get you again."

Ichigo nodded in an uncertain sort of way, he just felt out of sorts. Everything had gone to fast for him to keep up with. This morning, early morning, he was woken and soon after killed his...what was the right word for it? Captor, partner, rapist, lover? Father of his children seemed better. He'd been surrounded by a barrage of questions, demands and orders from the invading teams. Taken from the only home the children knew with only the clothes they stood in, then walked an eternity through to Soul Society. "Have we got to stay here, or can we go home now?" A deep yearning for his old home sprouted.

"With this?" Isshin patted his stomach. "Why don't you have a rest too?"

"I might." He nodded. "Rescue me from this bed later will ya?" He smiled. Isshin snorted a laugh as he left. Ichigo removed the Obi and Hanoi and laid down on the bed. He sighed and rested his arm over the children, but sleep suddenly seemed a distance too far. His mind just wanted to ponder over everything that had happened and replay the moment Aizen died.

…

Word of Ichigo's home coming spread through Seireitei alongside the knowledge that he had killed Aizen. Isshin was a proud grandfather parading his grandchildren around all the guests. Ichigo had been a little over whelmed with all the people, only used to the company of predominantly Aizen, he had left quietly and was gathering his thoughts in the library when Renji, Rukia and the twins found him.

Ichigo looked up from his seat with a large smile at seeing his sisters after all this time. He stood and faced them.

"NO!" Karin looked at Ichigo in surprise. "More!" Well what did he expect out of Karin? Tears? At least Yuzu didn't say anything. She just stood there wishing she could stop this conversation spiralling out of control and do the one thing she wanted to do and that was to give her brother a huge hug.

"Family genetics. Twins." Ichigo said and she looked at him horrified.

"You poor shit." They stood awkwardly in the centre of the room. The two friends just observing Karin's usual hostile attitude. Her safety mechanism.

_My hasn't she matured over the years._ Ichigo mused. "I'm a poor shit, that thinks my kids are the best thing in the world thanks Karin." He glanced quickly at Yuzu and she gave him a reassuring smile back.

"Yeah, but…He raped you." To the point as usual.

"That's not how it ended." Ichigo sighed and stepped away from her, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of relief at seeing him and he felt suddenly tired as hell, wishing he'd been able to get some sleep when he'd had the chance. His hand ran through his hair and he stroked his stomach as the twins moved.

"What you just gave yourself to him? You just let him get you pregnant time and time again?"

"Yes." He said and shrugged. What else could he say?

"Ichigo!" Rukia exclaimed.

"Maybe when your life is on the line and someone is depending upon you, you might understand." He felt he was aging rapidly with every sentence of this conversation. Right now, he felt about nine hundred and seventy.

"But…you let him!" Karin argued pointing a finger at him in an accusing manner. Nine hundred and seventy one.

"Look you don't know anything about it. You don't know anything about me you don't know anything about Sosuke. So stop the righteous act." He snapped. His old scowl was back on form. Nine hundred and seventy seven.

"Sosuke now is it?" Renji growled. Nine hundred and eighty.

"Oh fuck not you too." Ichigo felt that his world was turning more sour by the moment. Nine hundred and eighty one.

"Really Ichigo we are trying to understand." Rukia watched him sit with a sigh. Nine hundred and eighty-five.

"I MEAN THE GUY RAPES YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE, KNOCKING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. HE KIDNAPS YOU MORE THAN ONCE. HE DESTROYS YOUR HOME, TWICE, BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FAMILY AND KILLS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, YOU KNOW TATSUKI? REMEMBER HER!" Karin shouted rounding the room to stand in front of him. Nine hundred and ninety nine.

"DON'T COME AT ME WITH THE ATTITUDE THAT THIS HAS BEEN A WALK IN THE PARK FOR ME! OH YEAH I JUST ROLLED OVER AND PLAYED BITCH WITH HIM! I HAD ONE FUCKING GREAT LONG HOLIDAY. MY MEMORY MUST BE FAULTY WHEN IT REMEMBERS GIN NEARLY KILLING ME, GRIMMJOW HOLDING A FUCKING SWORD OVER MY DAUGHTERS HEAD AND AIZEN KNOCKING THE SHIT OUT ME! To stay alive I did what I had to do. To protect Masaki, I did what I had to do … If you don't like it, that isn't my problem." Ichigo felt his blood boiling and he looked away from Karin, he must be a right disappointment to her, to them all. One thousand and fifty.

"So that doesn't answer why you call him Sosuke instead of bastard." Renji said with his snide attitude. One thousand and fifty two.

Ichigo stared at him and shook his head in disbelief. This was really not the homecoming he had wished for at all. Had everyone turned against him? They all thought he was a traitor?

"Because I had to. For three years, I had to convince the guy that there was a reason for him to keep me alive. Yeah? Okay happy with that? Happy with the fact that I sold myself down the river sleeping in his bed every single night, letting him fuck my brains out or sucking his cock. Is that the answer you want? You want more details? More details instead of Slyzel and his examinations? His methods for ensuring I only now give birth to boys? … You make me sick with your assumptions of how easy it was to fight the man. How easy it was for me to live there day on day on day. If you're the kind of friends I wished I was back home with, then maybe I was better off where I was! Maybe I was better off with SOUSKE and his constant attention. Better off believing him when he said he loved me. Better off for the times he understood that I actually missed you bunch of sad fuckers. Yeah, he raped me when I was 16, he did all those things to me… but just two days ago, he was the one prising a pissed off Hollow off me and protecting me. He was the one who held me when Gin tried to kill me and again when Gin tried to kill my son. Brainwashed, mind fucked what ever description you use for it, it was the only thing I had. The only person I had. Believe it or not, the only thing that stopped me going insane. Because of him, I've got my children, and I'm grateful to him for that…now if you don't mind, I want to be left alone." He turned away from them all and sat on the sofa, letting out a loud tired sigh.

He let his elbows rest on his knees and put his head in his hands.

"Ichigo." Yuzu sat on the sofa next to him and he turned to her.

"Please don't say that you agree with these idiots."

"I'm just happy that your back." She smiled and he welcomed the hug. His arms wrapped around her and closed his eyes soaking up the comfort.

Yeah, Aizen had mind fucked him. When this hug felt so good, he had to admit that losing the man who hugged him and told him he cared, _hurt_. He missed the reassurance, the feeling of being protected. He was not used to thinking for himself anymore, having this freedom, this attention from others. He missed those stunning brown eyes. The hands that touched him, at times just to have contact with no sexual intent. Was it too late to realise he felt something for him?

Those thoughts wanted to open flood gates.

The others were walking out leaving him alone with Yuzu. He didn't want to cry in front of anyone, he didn't want them to see him feeling like this. He was meant to be happy that he was free. Not crying over a man he killed himself and the simple life he had been living.

"Daddy?" He pulled away from Yuzu and looked at Masaki holding her granddads hand. Tamotsu against his chest.

"I think you have two children ready for their bed." Masaki put her arms up to her dad and Ichigo bent to kiss her head. He accepted his son onto his lap.

Ichigo looked to Yuzu. "Thanks."

She smiled as he got up and went along the corridors looking for the bedroom. His mind flickered picture after picture of Aizen in his mind. _It was survival that's all._

He opened a door he thought was the right one and apologised instantly at finding Byakuya sitting at his desk, this must be the study. "Sorry wrong room." Ichigo smiled.

"Where did you think you were?" Byakuya looked up.

"The bedroom."

"Well, after the size of Hueco Mundo, I would have thought my house was easy." Byakuya stood.

"It's hard to lose yourself between a lounge a bathroom and two bedrooms. I generally wasn't allowed out of our room." _There a piece of evidence that you were a captive. You were surviving._

"Then I shall escort you." Byakuya put his pen down. "You were locked in your room all that time?" Byakuya asked as he headed left out of the study towards the sleeping quarters.

"Aizen's room." Ichigo dropped his head, thoughts of the brown eyes caught him again. As one of the rescuing party, Byakuya witnessed the intimate pose that allowed Ichigo to take his fatal blow against Aizen. That dropped head and quiet thoughtful face was familiar to him.

"I was with Hisana for only five years. It does not take long to get attached to people does it?" Ichigo's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Look at what he did to Hinamori." The lack of answer was enough to answer him. "It takes a great deal of strength to do what you did. Don't loose sight of what you lost because of him." Byakuya opened the door to the bedroom. "I will ask your guests to leave."

"Thank you Byakuya."

"Taichō." Byakuya added turning away and leaving Ichigo smiling.

The children were very quiet Ichigo noticed as he bathed them and redressed without their top garments to let them sleep in their underwear. He opened the covers of the double futon and laid them down, kneeling as he did so to kiss them.

"When is Daddy Sosuke coming?" His bright daughter asked looking at him with such innocence. Ichigo caught his breath and shook his head.

"Its just us now." He stroked her hair. "Tomorrow you'll be able to play in a real garden. See plants and I know there's a pond here with fish swimming in it." He distracted her with things she hadn't witnessed before, there was so much he could now show them, that was going to be worth this heartache. "Just go to sleep sweetheart. I'm coming to bed in a minute too." She watched him struggle to his feet and go into the bathroom. Her daddy was quiet too. He had his face that he wore when with Daddy Sosuke, not his alone with them when he was usually smiling and laughing.

Ichigo undressed and rinsed out all their clothes in the soapy water, taking some respite from his worries in this simple chore. His mind stilled. Calmed. He laid them over the shower rail to dry and sat in the luke warm water left behind from the children. Washed his hair and body, rinsing himself with fresh water from the shower hose and slid back into his yakata.

It seemed like an infinity since he had last slept. Ichigo expected to lay again, with all this uncertainty running through his mind, but as soon as his eyes closed he drifted off.


	12. Byakuya's Time to Move On

The Next day…Lunch…

Ichigo sat legs crossed on his cushion at the table set out in Yamamoto's office. The food was incredibly fine and more than abundant for the two of them.

"You killed Aizen?" The old man asked as he began to select his food. The Aizen uniform disturbed him, but he decided to not let that show.

"I did." Ichigo handled the empty bowl but hunger didn't make its presence known.

"How many children was it?"

"Masaki, Tamotsu and these two." Ichigo's hand settled on his stomach. "I shared a bed with Aizen every night for the past three years if that is your next question."

"Yet that must have meant you had ample chance to kill him before my men arrived." The tone was still casual and almost informal, but the undercurrent of an investigation was there.

"Not really." Ichigo answered placing the empty bowl back down with a sigh. That was something he found he did quite a lot right now.

"Oh?" Yamamoto looked at him. "Not eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

"But in your condition."

"I killed Aizen, I killed the man I assumed I had dedicated my life to. You want to know where my loyalties lie. The location of the Hōgyoku. You want to know where all the Espada are that you can't find." Ichigo wanted to be back with his children, he wanted the peace and santury that Byakuya's home gave him. He wanted to escape the questions, the looks, the assumptions.

"I do. And Ichimaru Gin?"

"Gin… I believed he was dead… But I'm not sure. The last time I saw him…Then there were tales that, he was seem bleeding heavily, but on his feet leaving the castle. We never knew if that was true or not. Aizen said he was dead when he left him. He had no reason to lie to me."

"Did you love Aizen?"

"My loyalty was to my children. To keep them safe, I'd even kill you if I had to...To bring them up in that place with only cold hearted killing machines around was not something I wished to continue for ever. The safety of my children was, _is_, paramount. What happened to me was irrelevant. I thought Aizen knew that, but it seems he didn't. I took advantage of the situation your invasion gave me. I could never have escaped with Aizen alive and his men free to chase me." _Although the thought had occurred to me at times, that a death by that manner was preferable. It would have been my only choice if I had not had the children. _"As for the Hōgyoku, I have never set eyes on it, since Aizen's defection."

Second Day of Freedom in the Kuchiki Garden…

The sound of giggling and wondered cries of "Oh look daddy! Look at this!" filled the garden as Byakuya took some time out of his work load and tended to the garden outside the doors to his study. He smiled at the sight of Ichigo and the children running ahead amazed by everything they were seeing.

"Steady on, stay with me there's a pond somewhere around here." Ichigo called them back to his side and they dutifully held his hands. They appeared like a normal family from the back, their outfits which remained the same however jarred his vision.

"Suki." Byakuya called the passing servant. "I have an errand for you."

"Look!" Tamotsu pointed down at the large orange Koi that swam beneath the surface. His eyes were wide and a smile filled his features. He knelt on the ponds surrounding stones, leaning out just a little too far for Ichigo's liking. He sat himself with a groan on the stones and grabbed the back of the child's outfit.

"It's a fish." Masaki said proudly, having listened to her fathers lectures on the way over to the pond. Ichigo nodded at her. "Can't they jump out?" She asked.

"No, fish need the water. They can't live without it." Ichigo kept his explanation brief.

He wondered at how she was absorbing everything about the clouds and the sky, the sun and wind that whistled around them. He had adored watching them touch everything from the gravel at their feet, to the stone statues, plants and flowers. How they laughed when a butterfly flew right between them so slowly yet they still couldn't catch it. "Oh." He looked up at the gray cloud over head and sighed as the drops of water began to fall. Tamotsu and Masaki laughed with their hands out.

"It tickles!" She squealed and her brother laughed too. "What is it?"

"Rain." Byakuya said walking up to them with a hand offered to Ichigo to help him up from the floor. "The clouds are watering my garden."

"Wow!" She looked impressed and Ichigo smiled at Byakuya.

"We should go in before you get too wet." He added to the cute little girl and reaching out for Tamotsu before he headed back to the pond. No sooner than the words were out than the heavens opened and the rain thundered down. The children squealed at the cold water falling on them but laughed all the same. Tamotsu was hoisted into Ichigo's arms and Byakuya picked Masaki up to run ahead into the house. Ichigo tried running, laughing, but sighed giving in and walking back the last part getting thoroughly soaked.

"I think a bath would be in order." He tutted at the wet orange hair stuck to Ichigo's face. The toddler looked as if he had succeeded in jumping into the pond he was that wet. "The servants should be running one now for you."

"I could get used to all this pampering." Ichigo sighed rubbing the trails of water that were falling down his neck and making him shudder.

"I could get used to the children being that enthusiastic about my garden."

"Well, for a first time seeing a garden, yours would have to be a really good head start."

"I wondered at the rain question." Byakuya ushered the children along the corridor towards the guest bedroom they were using. "The hell butterfly…" Ichigo had forgotten that they had seen it fly past them. "It seems that the Sōtaichō would like to see you again. However wet or not, I feel a different outfit would be more suitable. There have been a few comments regarding the attire."

"We only have these. You didn't give me chance to collect anything else. Thinking about it, I don't know what I would have taken, none of it was ours anyway."

"Well I have dealt with the clothes. You must let your father or I know of anything you require." He said as they reached the door of the bedroom. "I will send word that you are resting which I know Unohana wishes you to do. Carrying twins must be an additional drain on you." Ichigo's face flashed with pain of a memory where those words were uttered and Byakuya wondered what had caused it.

"Ichigo?" Byakuya was concerned at the spaced out youths expression. He reached out to touch his arm and Ichigo flinched.

"Byakuya… Sorry." Byakuya stepped back shocked himself at Ichigo's reaction.

"Go take a bath Ichigo, you feel very cold."

He nodded and went into the room with the children passing the servant that had run the bath and sorted the room.

"Is everything arranged for them?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." He replied walked off.

Ichigo bathed with the children. The tub was just large enough minus the odd foot bumping his stomach. But it was an enjoyable way to sooth his memories. Once they had played enough daft games and wrapped themselves in fluffy towels, Ichigo returned to the room to see if their clothes had dried over the heaters from where he had placed them. But they were gone. Instead the cupboards and drawers were open with piles of neatly stacked clothing. All colours of the rainbow greeted his senses.

Instead of gratitude, Ichigo felt anger. Now in the home of another domineering man, it seemed that history was repeating itself. On the bed were a selection of clothes already picked out. Aizen could have well have placed them there himself. Aizen could have ordered the baths to be filled and Ichigo to wash himself. Words seem to trip out of Byakuya's mouth the same as Aizen's.

Orders, suggestions and overtly 'kind'. Ichigo's mind flashed with worry. Was this just a ploy of Aizen's an elaborate trick of his sword? An illusion and Byakuya wasn't anyone else but Aizen himself? Panic rose inside him and felt his breathing strangle in his chest.

"Sosuke!" He screamed. "Let me out!" His panic rose and he held his throat. He couldn't breath. He couldn't move.

"Daddy." Masaki tugged at the towel around him. "Daddy!"

Ichigo felt his vision fading, his heart beat so loud in his ears that he could hear nothing else. His mind seemed to flicker leaving him lightheaded and he stumbled reaching out for anything to stop him falling.

Byakuya had felt the strange pattern in Ichigo's energy. It was not a calm relaxed pattern. Isshin must have felt it too as they were both heading for the room when a scared Masaki came running out.

"Daddy! Help my daddy!" She cried.

…

Unohana pulled the green bubble of healing power from the sleeping Ichigo.

"Well he's fine now." She smiled up at the worried face of Isshin. "I've made sure he'll sleep a while longer, but it sounds like he had a panic attack. Listening to his daughter and what he was shouting out, I wonder if he thought this was an illusion. That he is still in his prison under the influence of Aizen. Something must have triggered it but I couldn't guess as to what. The bump on his head must be from his fall."

"What do we do?"

"Years of imprisonment and god knows what else are going to mean years of careful understanding Isshin. I'm sure you know what you need to do." No he didn't. Not when it came to his children. His rational thought process went out of the window when he worried about them.

The Only Friend…

"So what happened to you all?" Ichigo asked Ishida. The smartly dressed teen gazed around the palatial reception room. It was everything that he would have expected to find in a home of this stature. The only thing he hadn't of expected was the sight of Ichigo with a huge stomach. A pregnant pause had been just that as he took in the sight before sighing to himself.

"School was a bit problematic with all the Hollow attacks. We were glad of Soul Societies intervention and making the town sleep. It allowed us to focus on the war. Before that, the town suffered rather a lot of what was explained as natural disasters. Many families had begun to leave, Orihime's flat had been destroyed so she went to stay with Sado. My father was too busy at the hospital, especially as your dads had been shut down for so long, he refused to help the shinigami in anyway." He sat and nodded his thanks for the drinks the young servant had just brought in.

He watched Ichigo sit with some difficulty and pull the male toddler he'd been informed was his son onto his lap. It was a weird thing to see for a kid their age.

"But yeah we all managed to finish school. Sado is in Tokyo, at university, Orihime is studying catering locally and I've been accepted to a fashion school in Europe. So I'm leaving the design course I started."

"I didn't even get to finish school." Ichigo sighed.

"There were some rumors flying around the town that your dad took you away somewhere after your outburst. Your entire family just disappeared overnight. One minute you were shouting about Aizen and what he did to you, the next being sent home sick and then you were gone. Tatsuki too. The shinigami altered everyone's minds and made out she had moved away, which is what her parents actually did."

"Daddy do you like my picture?" Masaki interrupted her fathers thoughts just as he was about to dwell on everything he had lost. She held up a picture for him to see and he smiled back at her. "That's us and the babies in your tummy." She said pointing to the abstract images on her paper. "But not Daddy Sosuke. I didn't want to draw him."

Ishida noted a flash of a frown pass his face at the mention of the name.

"This is all a little strange for you I guess." Ishida spoke and Ichigo looked at him with surprise that any one was thinking of his thoughts at all. Everyone so far had just expected him to be euphoric. "I mean you've holed yourself up here where Byakuya can fend everyone off you. You haven't been seen outside these gates. You were not at the ceremonies last week that signified the end of the war… Your children do not move 10 paces from you and have done their utmost to stay away from me. They are not used to dealing with company either?"

"No. They're not." Ichigo should have allowed for the analytical mind of his friend.

"I think they were expecting you to be shouting from the roof and enjoying your freedom not dwelling in a self imposed exile."

"Its taking a while to adjust." Ichigo answered. It was the truth.

"All routes into Hueco Mundo were sealed. We did try. Your dad was sent to the cells for a while for repeated attempts."

"Well he didn't tell me that."

"I think trying to strike Yamato was the final straw." Ichigo laughed at the visual scene of his father in full rant lunging at the old man. "We all wondered what was happening to you and hoped you were alright." At this Ichigo let out a long drawn out sigh and shifted his seat. He put Tamotsu on the floor against he wishes and thrust a crayon from Masaki's pile into his hand.

"I thought of you lot too…" Ichigo broke into the uncomfortable silence that had fallen. "Trying to keep these two happy and safe… became more and more despondent that I would never be free. It's hard to explain really and when I do, everyone else I'd tried to talk to gets angry with me."

"What ever happened it was enough to change you."

"How could I be who I was from the first minute Sosuke appeared in my room?" He shrugged. "A fly trapped in his web."

"So when are the twins due?" Ishida decided to change the subject.

"Three and a bit months." Ichigo smiled at the change of conversation. Ishida was a breath of fresh air.

"And you're stuck here until then. You can hardly be seen in the town as you are… although most people you knew have moved on. I don't think you would recognise the place now."

Seven Months Pregnant…

Byakuya entered the neat and orderly guest room and gave a small recognition of his surprise at finding Rukia and not Ichigo. Masaki sat next to her flicking slowly through a picture book and Tamotsu was running a modern car along the ridges of the mats. He made no sound and just quietly watched the motion of the wheels.

"He's having a check up at the forth." She answered his question. "Isshin took him."

Byakuya sat next to Masaki on the side of the bed and he peered at the picture of a smiling cat.

"These two are very quiet again today." Rukia commented. Masaki turned the page again and said nothing for a moment. They were always quiet when Ichigo was not around; both the siblings had noticed that before.

"Noisy children get smacked." Masaki said innocently. Byakuya and Rukia exchanged glances.

"Who would hurt you, you're always so good?" Rukia stroked the child's hair and put her arm around her.

"Daddy Sosuke or Ulqi…ori. The sad man." She turned another page to look at a strange blue dog.

"Not daddy?" Rukia asked.

"Daddy naughty too." They exchanged another glance. "I don't like it when daddy goes away." Masaki said pouting. "Daddy is coming back today?"

"Of course he is. They just want to see the babies are well."

"So when you lived in the castle, sometimes Daddy didn't come back?" Byakuya asked.

"No."

"Do you know why?" He pressed her softly.

"Nii-sama, she is only small."

"Cos daddy hurt." Her wide eyes looked up at Byakuya. "You had lady mend Daddy. Sometimes Daddy Sosuke would mend Daddy, cos he didn't mean to get cross."

Byakuya inhaled a long thoughtful breath and kissed the child on the head.

That Night…

Months of listening to the repressed tears had finally become intolerable and Byakuya yearned to make Ichigo wear that happy smile every moment. Enough, he couldn't listen to it anymore.

"Byakuya! No, I'm sorry." Ichigo was startled by the footsteps that joined him on the decked walkway.

"Sorry for what?"

"Waking you."

"That should not concern you."

"But it does… I won't do it again."

"I don't want you to be unhappy." The words yet again were right from Aizen's mouth not Byakuya's.

"Oh my god… don't say that!" He back away. Fresh tears fell. "Byakuya please."

The boy was clearly more upset by his presence than before. "Ichigo…" Words failed him; he was so unused to dealing with peoples emotions.

"Don't touch me." Ichigo's voice was barely a whisper, full of alarm. It was at this point, he stumbled, his foot lost on the wooden steps that lead to the gardens. Byakuya was there quickly, wishing to stop him falling. One hand on his arm the other around his back. It was a simple act, but one that shot electric volts through Ichigo's system. Ichigo withdrew. Byakuya witnessed with shock, the way he seemed to physically shrink, his muscles tense. He didn't pull from the hold, years of conditioning at work there, but in fact his body sunk into the warm figure holding him.

"Are you okay?" More echoes from the past filtered into Ichigo's ears and he dropped his head nodding.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have stayed in bed. I won't do it again." The dropped head whispered.

"Ichigo I am not Aizen."

"You're touching me."

"I don't understand?"

"It is as if I cannot sleep without him next to me… I cannot do things I would like anymore for myself… I don't know how I should feel. Why should I feel it? I know he would not like it that I'm here and talking to others… he wouldn't like it that I do not wear the clothes he has selected… eat what he tells me to… leave the room. It feels as if I am always doing something wrong and I'm waiting for him to reprimand me." Byakuya wanted to see Ichigo's face. He wanted to witness the pain he could hear in the slow crippled voice. "But… I want him sleeping next to me… I want his hold… I want his love again… Yet I killed him." Ichigo's head buried into Byakuya's shoulder, his arms wrapped around the stiff nobles waist.

Byakuya initially tensed but softened into the hug. He put his arms around the shuddering shoulders.

…

Byakuya sat in his study, he watched the trio walk past his window as they did every night since Ichigo's arrival. He smiled to himself. He knew the children would come back alive with so much talk about everything they had seen, the new flowers, the fish swimming in the pond, the trees ready to blossom. Their delighted faces were enchanting.

Now in his eighth month, Ichigo didn't look as if walking was that comfortable anymore, Byakuya noticed. His hand held the lower of his belly and he was much slower than the children who were running ahead. He heard him call out for them to slow down and wait for him and they did. It was amazing to see how good Ichigo was at being a parent. How his children adored him and although there were moments, both were very well behaved.

What had surprised Byakuya was the way Ichigo watched them talk over the evening meal about the birds and trees. How he smiled even glowed as they chatted with such enthusiasm at seeing the white Koi grace them with their presence that day.

It was that face that woke Byakuya up as it appeared in his dream. That face he wanted to see more of. He really didn't know if he was blind before, or if it was the dark secret of his heart that he longed for children himself and he wanted what Ichigo had? No, he wanted _this_ family. The house was alive and happy. He had even heard the servants wishing they could keep the family here. The sound of laughter echoed through the hallways.

Laughter; it is a funny thing. Never had he craved to hear it as he did now.

What made him respond yesterday when he hadn't all the other days? He'd heard that sound before; he'd heard it as he lay in his bed woken by its sadness. That's when he learnt that Ichigo had become a very good actor.

What made him get up when he hadn't every other night?


	13. Gin Anyone?

_Hello _thinking

Seireitei Public Park…

In a nightmare he'd witnessed once before at Rukia's execution, Ichigo watched horrified as Gin's hand slid into his son's chest. Tamotsu squirmed and cried looking towards Ichigo with a child's yearning for its mother.

Ichigo pregnant belly was too large to move much faster to his son before the traitor had; he seemed to pause as he took in the horror unfolding before him. A peaceful stroll and picnic away from the Kuchiki household seemed to have turned into a nightmare without a second to understand how.

"NO!" Ichigo screamed and forced his body to run forward. Gin pulled his hand out and casually let the child fall to the ground as he unsheathed his sword.

"Shinsō shoot." He smiled holding the Hogyoku gem in his fist and watched the blade extend from the hilt.

Ichigo snarled as the blade pierced his chest. His feet tried to press on towards his son, crumpled on the floor, but the blade stopped him. His worried gaze looked at Tamotsu who was crying and holding his arms out to be picked up. The pain he was feeling himself seemed insignificant.

Masaki ran past Ichigo to her brother and cuddled him, Gin didn't seem to concern her at all; a mere half human child, pathetic creature.

Ichigo grimaced at the pain as Gin twisted the blade with that sinister grin watching him. So long had he wanted to get rid of this annoyance in his life. This man who had taken away the one thing he worked hard to keep hold of.

"Masaki!" Ichigo groaned. _Don't hurt them, please don't hurt them._ He wanted his children safe at any cost, Zangetsu chimed in his hand waiting for an opening, but pinned to the spot like this he was just as helpless. The picnic location had been an ideal place to ambush them so remote and away from the ever watchful eyes of the divisions.

"Ahh ain't she sweet. The right little protector that one. What ya going to do now Ichi? Where's I ave a pick of which one of ya three, oopps five ta kill, can't forget tha little runts inside ya can we. Ya only ave ta chose which one ta save. Much easier choice tha one. Tamotsu is an ugly shit an she's got awful hair and tha leaves ya, _Mummy._ When I slide this blade out of ya, ya's going to bleed badly. Not enough time left for ya ta save everyone." Gin began to tug the blade and Ichigo fell to his knees with a scream.

"Daddy." Masaki looked up at the pained face of Ichigo and the blood that had began to seep down to pool in the dirt. Her fingers touched the blade. "Disappear." She said clearly. The blade released and shot back towards Gin into its sealed form. Ichigo cried out as the blade ripped from him. "You hurt my daddy."

"Be a good girl and shut up." Gin spat angrily causing Tamotsu to run and clenched Ichigo's arm as he panted on all fours, the pain intense, blackness looming in on him as the blood rushed far too quickly from him.

"You hurt my daddy!" Masaki said angrily. She ran forward.

"Masaki!" Ichigo gripped Tamotsu to his chest as he forced himself to his feet.

"DISAPPEAR!" She screamed as she touched the hand that was reaching forward to slap her. Gin recoiled in shock, he looked at her horrified and then at Ichigo.

"She…She…" He said, falling to his knees as his energy vanished within an instant.

…

Byakuya didn't know what impulse made him leave his office early, maybe it was the lure of a picnic with the cheerful family, or maybe it was just the chance to spend more time with Ichigo. The spikes of Ichigo's reiatsu echoed around the town and his heart palpitated in concern. What would cause such a response? He leapt onto the nearest building and took a bearing and forced his shunpo at speed towards them.

In Hospital After Gin's Attack…

"I want to go home. I don't want to sound ungrateful Byakuya. But I just need to get away from everything that has a connection to Sosuke." The man had saved his life and housed him all this time asking nothing in return and it made Ichigo feel as the traitor his friends thought he was. Only this time he was a traitor against Byakuya's hospitality.

Byakuya sat by the bed. Although they had grown closer during the past months, he knew Ichigo only felt it as friendship. He wanted more and the thought that the kid was considering leaving was undesirable.

"I was hoping you would stay. My house has enjoyed the children's presence."

"It's rather a large house for just you and Rukia."

"It is. One day I had hoped for a child of my own. If Hisana and I had ever managed to have one, it would have been nice."

"The kids like you. You would have been a good dad." Ichigo smiled and adjusted himself, his chest was hurting and he was beginning to feel the need to sleep as his mind began to fog up.

"Would have?"

"I'm sorry; I don't seem to be getting this."

"Ichigo, I have enjoyed not only the children's company but yours also. I would have liked you to stay with me. Let me adopt the children and be the parent they are missing, possibly we could have had one of our own?"

"What!" Ichigo's eyes opened in horror. "Get out! Get out!" He shouted. "Unohana, Isane…Dad!" He stretched in the direction of the door. "GET HIM OUT!" He panted holding his chest. The wounds opened and he inhaled in pain.

"Ichigo. I think you misunderstand me."

"NO. No I don't…You are just like him… Everything you say is like him. Everything you do is like him. You even want to use me just as he did! Get out!" He screamed in pain as his abdomen constricted and his waters flooded out.

"Get out!" He cried sobbing as Unohana ran in.

"I think you should." She turned quickly to the noble. "He's gone into labour."


	14. A Fresh Start

_Hello_ thinking

A Home of Their Own…

The tiny infants slept in the pram his sisters had brought, the other two hanging on to the side looking unsure. Ichigo pushed open the door to his new home and slinging the one single bag of clothing they possessed between them, over his shoulder, he pushed the buggy inside.

He knew he was running away. He veiled it beneath the mask of independence so securely he could lie to himself most of the time and convince everyone with a reasonable degree of belief that this was the right thing to do.

He wasn't the same person anymore, who would be? He wanted to find himself, to give himself chance to have his own space and be his own master.

Running away had been the suggestion thrown at him in a fit of rage; the mouth who spoke the truth scared the shit out of him. Byakuya seemed to sink into his psyche and know what was really going on in his mind. It had scared him that anyone would know him that well and it reeked of Aizen's control again. He didn't want to be controlled anymore. He didn't want people assuming that they knew him or what was for the best.

Stuck in those rooms in that cold demonic place, he had been used to his own company. Groups of people confused and concerned him. In Byakuya's house, he had been aloud to spend his time alone, just playing with his kids. He was used to that life. When the others stopped coming because he threw a fit at their lack of understanding once too often, he was glad. Glad they left him alone.

So the next step had been to find somewhere he could be alone. He looked at the bracelet around his wrist. It was the one Aizen had used all those years ago. It had been stuffed in the pocket of his uniform the day he killed him. Lost and forgotten. Now he could be normal again. He could be alone and lost in civilization.

Okay so Byakuya has shouted… he had actually raised his voice and shouted at him. The voice that accused him of running away, told him in the same tone that he'd wanted him to stay. It shouted he loved him. Some sick fucking joke that was. If you love someone you don't shout. If you love someone you hold them and whisper it in their ear like Sosuke had. You whisper it in their ear whether the person you love is lying bed a willing partner or broken and bloody on the floor because you just beat them.

"Daddy we've got a garden!" Masaki tore him from his thoughts.

Prison…

"Well well, what an honour." Gin smiled at Byakuya appearing at his door. "Wot do I owe displeasure to?"

"It seems that the honour is all mine." Byakuya said coolly as the subordinate opened the door way for him. "Your past deeds have won you the dishonourable death of dying like a dog in these cells."

"Traitors get the…"

"No. You went beyond the level of a traitor Gin. The other captains seemed to dislike the idea that you were to be killed in this manner and refused. I however am only too happy to see that the correct justice is served."

"Ain't you the righteous one." Gin sneered his bound wrists clanking as he shifted on the wooden seat.

"It seems that your love was your doom."

"It seems that yours lets you do things like this."

"You have no place to lecture me."

"No? My last wish is ta give ya a some information. Sosuke lavished everything on him. Every sweet pain and wound was given with love. Each bastard the result of his lash and whip that should've been mine alone. Ya taint ya family with the stench of stained filth. He won't love ya back, he doesn't understand what it is to be loved. He doesn't understand what heartless bastards like ya and Aizen do to show ya love. Ya won't break him, he belongs to Sosuke body and soul. Body and soul given willingly. Aching at the fact he killed him; he'll drown in his own misery, end his life ashamed at the crime he committed. Guilty of Sosuke's murder and his own wretchedness."

Byakuya slapped him around the face and Gin fell from the seat laughing. He lay on the floor looking up at Byakuya his face still showing that grin. "Finished?"

"I love pain. Do ya worst."

The approved method was a single thrust severing life and spiritual energy. This wasn't an energy they wanted released back into life somewhere. Death was usually a cycle of existence but this blade made that existence end. No more rebirths, no more chances in life. The blade used absorbed it in its entirety leaving Gin no more than a stain on the cell floor.

"Byakuya?" Ukitake stood at the door way. "Of all of us, it shouldn't have been you."

"But I wanted to kill him."

"Even more so." He sighed. Soul Reapers cleansed souls. They did not wipe them out completely. Every soul had a right for another chance. It was just that some souls fouled their chances too greatly and would never be allowed to roam free again. The academy drummed into them that such a death was a punishment beyond any other. To witness, perform or fall victim to this way, was the worst thing possible. Nobles were permitted to refuse such an act. "What are you going to do now?"

"I am going to find him."

In a Seedy Part of Karakura Some Months Later… 

Ichigo sighed at the music that began pounding on the walls of the lounge. It was so loud that the walls were shaking and he could feel the floor vibrate under his feet.

The scream upstairs was expected and he was half way up to the twins before the sound was made, he was sorely getting tired of this routine.

His homework was unfinished and needed to be back with his night school tutor tomorrow; with working till 5 and then sorting the kids out he couldn't see it getting done.

"It's alright." He soothed the head of the two boys and cast a glance over the older two who seemed to be sleeping through the noise just fine.

Twenty minutes later, he plodded down the stairs and out the front door. To the front door of his neighbour that he had not said one word to in all the time he lived here.

He banged loudly as the music was still blaring out.

"What!?" The guy must have to duck to get inside his door, and possibly breathe in too. His rounded guts sat inside a t-shirt and leather waistcoat. His jeans inside biker boots. His arms were laced with skulls and flames. Every ounce of his being shouted, 'Don't fuck with me!'

"Your music. Could you turn it down please?"

"Got a problem with it?"

"Yeah, it's waking my kids up every single night."

"Well your kids wake me up with their damn screaming. So I don't really give a shit."

"Do you think you could at least turn it down?"

"No. Fuck off or I'll turn it up." The door began to shut, but Ichigo reached his arm out and held it open.

"You know I am trying to be patient with you." He said calmly.

"You know I am getting pissed off with you." The man mocked.

"Are you going to turn it down?" The scowled deepened.

"Nah." The door shut in his face and he heard the music get louder.

Ichigo pounded on the door.

"FUCK OFF!" The man screamed opening the door.

"Turn. It. Down."

"Or what? Going to make me?" The man crossed his arms and puffed up his shoulders. He grew a few more inches and glared smugly at him.

"If I have to." The man laughed looking him up and down.

"Now don't take this the wrong way, mate, but you're a little bit too much of a sap. Why don't you run home like a good little boy and get your misses to shut those fucking kids up?"

"Last warning; turn your music down."

"See this face, it's not someone who gets scared by weedy gay boys like you. Its not looking at you going, Ohhh, this ginger winger is really scary. Its looking at you saying I don't give a fuck."

"Okay." Ichigo pooled some energy into his fist and thumped the man down his hallway. Casually he then walked into the house and found the stereo and yanked the plug from the wall. "Thank you." He smiled at the man looking at him stunned from his place on the floor, blood dripping from his mouth. "Oh I think you may have left a tooth at the door." Ichigo said stepping over it. "Night night."

Night School…

"Ichigo. I don't seem to have your homework." This sharp nosed cow took the evil pleasures of teaching to a new level his old high school one never did. Her small black eyes bore holes into the scraggy arrangement of misfits that took her class. She took pleasure in taking them down a peg or two in front of everyone and humiliating the ones who failed to grasp the basics. It was pure torture.

"I haven't had chance." He sat back casually in his chair knowing this would piss her off more.

"This is meant to be a second and last chance you know. This isn't meant to be something you can just do on a whim when you feel like it. You're an adult now and really I hoped you would do better this time." She pointed an accusing finger at him.

"I didn't get a chance okay. I have been busy."

"I know you young men. Waste your days at school getting into trouble and I expect that you're cruising around the towns getting drunk every night instead of doing your work. The final exams are only three months away and that homework was part of the overall grade you'll receive." It was a veiled threat seeing as she was the one who marked that component of the exams.

He would have retorted but his phone went off in his pocket. The teacher tutted as he answered it. She frowned heavily as he ended his call.

"Yep, I'm coming." He stood gathering his things.

"Where do you think your going?"

"One of my kids is unwell." He said slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"Kurosaki!"

"Later." He said leaving the room.

Ichigo held Iruki in his arms and rocked him. The baby was burning up and Ichigo looked to Yuzu.

"I called dad too. He's coming when his shift ends." She watched her bother lay the baby on the sofa and begin to undress his layers of clothes.

Kakarau, gurgled on the floor where he lay kicking his feet in the air. Masaki, sat with Tamotsu making a puzzle.

When the baby was just in his nappy, Ichigo held him back up again ran some tepid water in the sink.

"We'll be fine Yuzu. Why don't you get off now." Ichigo said dipping a cloth into the water and wiping the back of Iruki's sweat ridden head.

"Your sure?" She asked as the door bell rang. "That'll be dad. I'll get it."

Iruki wasn't too happy at the way Ichigo was pressing the damp cloth to his naked skin. Annoyed sickly whimpers left his lips and Ichigo kissed his cheek. "I know you're annoyed with me." He said softly.

"Ichigo it's your teacher." Ichigo turned around to see the woman. Her face taking in the surroundings and it wasn't impressed.

"Your girlfriend…"

"Sister." Ichigo corrected her. "Thanks Yuzu."

"Look just call if you need any help."

"I will. Thanks." They exchanged a kiss on the cheek and Yuzu waved to the others.

Iruki screamed loudly and Ichigo rocked him harder, lifting him to let his head rest against his shoulder. He continued to wipe down the child to lower his temperature.

"This isn't a good time for me."

"You left without your next homework." She replied.

"Well if I get chance I'll do it."

"I meant what I said earlier. You picked the advanced class to pass quickly, now you need to put the work in! It really is important."

"Yeah well so is feeding my kids." He said angrily. "This place might look like a dump to you, but it still costs me money and in between paying for childcare and paying for the bills, I sort of get a bit side tracked being a lone parent. So if my homework isn't done, it really isn't the top of my things to worry about." The music started again next door and Ichigo looked up to the ceiling and sighed. "I know it's important. Do you think that I don't know it's my only way out of this dump? My only way to give my kids something better?"

"Can't you get some help? What happened to their mother?"

"My partner is dead. As you saw my sister comes over for me and my dad will be here soon. Look really Mrs Social Worker, I've got everything covered here that I can. Thanks for the home work and that, but, you know it was time you were leaving." He banged his fist on the wall and the music lowered. "Masaki, Tamotsu, go get ready for bed." The two children scampered up the stairs.

The teacher looked and nodded. She had indeed outstayed her welcome. The second baby began to cry and Ichigo knew feeding time had arrived at completely the wrong moment. At the sound of crying the music next door was turned up and Ichigo cursed inwardly.

"Would you like me to…" She gestured to pick him up and looked startled at the man, as he seemed to have moved across the room in a millisecond.

"No, he's just hungry." He wasn't going to let the evil cow touch his children.

"Fine." She gave an awkward smile. "I'll see myself out."

…

Isshin walked down the street and heard the sound of loud music next door before he even got to the door. He knocked on the door and the tough guy opened his door.

"Yeah?"

"My son lives next door."

"So?"

"Music?"

"Fuck off." The door tried to shut and Isshin's foot kept it open. This seemed a little familiar and the man backed off. "Alright!" He said annoyed. "I'll turn it down."

It was as well that Isshin had his own key as Ichigo didn't answer the door. He let himself into the house, noticing it was all quiet. There was a broken puzzle on the carpet, two empty drink cups on the sink, their milk consumed and an absence of bodies. He tiptoed up the stairs and looked in at the two elder children peacefully asleep. One infant snuggled in his cot was also sound asleep.

Smiling at the sight, he paused at Ichigo's door. Silence. He pushed the door open and smiled again at Ichigo half dressed laying on his side, fast asleep as Iruki suckled. Surreal but sweet. Granddad touched the child's forehead and felt the heat. Gently he prised the baby away and covered Ichigo up.

Downstairs he resumed the cooling wipes Ichigo had started and found a bottle of expressed milk in the fridge. He poured a dose of pink goo into the milk, with a nostalgic pang at how he used to do this with his own brutes of children back in the days when they were cute like this little tot and fed him the liquid. He'd known when Yuzu called that there was nothing to worry about; kids just did this once in a while.

The cause was never traceable and a good nights sleep later they were usually fine.

He stood in the kitchen listening to the contented suckling of the teat and his eye glanced over at the discarded homework.

"Miss this one and your pass mark will be a fail." He read the note on the top and the scribbled 'Screw you' in Ichigo's handwriting underneath. He tutted; how was he going to force Ichigo to accept more help?

Heavy footsteps sounded down the wooden stairs and Isshin looked up at a half awake Ichigo coming down, his arms full of washing.

"You should have stayed where you were." Isshin looked at him sternly.

"Yeah I wish. Things to do." He sighed kneeling in front of the washing machine. At least he had that now, thanks to his dad. It saved him regular trips to the Laundromat.

"Here, you take this little scamp and finish feeding him. There's some medicine in it, so see he gets it all." Isshin forced the baby into his arms and finished setting the machine.

Ichigo slumped on the sofa and watched his youngest child sup happily. "Your sensei came around?"

"Cheers Yuzu." Ichigo tutted to himself. "She hates us all, not just me."

"And your keeping up are you?"

"Dad, don't play games with me! You obviously want to get something off your chest."

"Ichigo, I know what it is like struggling by yourself & you were all a lot older and I was already a doctor. You're going to make yourself sick."

"I'm not coming home."

"Okay, how about you jack in that job of yours and let me give you one at the clinc? Same pay as you get now only half the hours?"

"You can't afford me." Ichigo smiled tiredly. "I think about it."

A Few Days Later - A Handful of Happiness Refused…

Ichigo just stood at his door his mouth open and irritation in his eyes.

"Hello Ichigo." It was the weirdest sounding greeting Byakuya had ever uttered. He stood there on a doorstep in some part of this mystifying world, and although he was dressed in everyday clothes, he felt so out of place. His confidence at home didn't fit here. Not in this situation. He was floundering wondering how to behave and how not to make things worse than they already were.

Ichigo was taking a time to take in who was at his door, but at least that gave Byakuya time to look closely at the young man. Almost twenty, such a child in Byakuya's life span. But Humans were like that. They lived life so much quicker than he did.

Ichigo's orange locks were as unruly as ever, just as independently minded at the head they sprouted from. It may even be just a little longer then he recalled those, what was it? Eight or nine months ago? He may also be a little taller again, maybe as tall as himself now? His slim frame looked slimmer, his face…carved from a fine pale rare mineral by master crafts men. He looked older but he'd grown into his face now. The handsome features more defined and natural now they were on the body of a man. Those emotion filled eyes were still that coppery…warm chocolate…just divine; were full of so many thoughts and emotions all crashing through them in a fraction of a second as they ever were. Byakuya had known long ago that the boy was far from stupid, just complex, no in fact that was a lie. He was simple to understand. He had suffered pain beyond measure at losing someone he loved and all he ever strived for was to save anyone else suffering the same. He took his own pain and kept it inside himself, running away from everyone to save them the trouble of him needing them.

He cast a glance at the hand still holding the door at chest height, there on his wrist the evidence of why it took so long to find him. But, it wasn't nearly as good at restraining his powers, not from a Byakuya determined sort of person. Once he'd bathed in the scent of someone's powers he could sense it when there was only the barest flicker of release. Each time he'd come to the town, he's sensed it. But his time had run out before he could follow it to its source. Only today had he ignored the need to return, he'd been adamant that today he was going to find him.

Even though Ichigo did not look pleased, Byakuya was. It was hidden of course.

Hidden behind that disguise of his face. But if Ichigo chose to look, he'd find it flaunted in the eyes and the relief filled posture, the quivering of his abdominals and the slight tremor in his hands.

"What do you want?" Ichigo said breathlessly. He didn't run a marathon to open the door, but his chest constricted to the point of sucking all the air out.

"To talk." That voice, so deep, well spoken and inviting.

Ichigo studied the man now his mind had been released from its frozen surprise. The over dressed, black suit and shirt with a white tie and belt. So over dressed. So… no, he wasn't going to lose his resolve to make his own life. He wasn't going to be dissuaded from his solitary route to recovery.

Did he need to feel the hold of that slim but toned figure in his arms again? Did he need those long slender arms to wrap around him and the fingers to gracefully knit into his hair? Did he need that as much as he needed the words of reassurance and understanding from those long desirable lips? Did he even need to have those eyes that contained the knowledge of the universe and the depth of equal magnitude to caress over him?

"I have nothing to say." Ichigo cursed the way his voice betrayed his turbulent thoughts.

"But I do." He dared to take one step closer.

Ichigo stayed his ground and raised his shoulders to appear more resolute than he felt.

"I don't care for what you have to say. Please leave before the children realise you're here."

"I wanted to apologise."

"Save it. I don't want to know."

"I only want to make you and the children happy. I did not mean for my poorly chosen words to upset you."

"Your upsetting me now just being here."

"Ichigo…"

"Good night Byakuya."


	15. Forced to Think

_Hello_ thinking

The Quickie-Mart…

Ichigo looked at his till and cursed the damn thing for beeping at him yet again. It was one of those damn days and he hated this stupid machine. Only twenty minutes to go and a queue a mile long with customers growling and bitching about the time he was taking to serve them. It wasn't his fault the till roll ran out or the old biddy he last served took seven hours to pack away her purse and receipts before moving. No and now it wasn't his fault the damn till was having a nervous breakdown!

It just was his day that the customer he was serving was the biker nut from next door too.

"Finally you prat!" The man growled as Ichigo handed him his change.

"What ever." Ichigo mumbled. He watched the man walk out of the shop his snarling face looking at Ichigo all the way.

Ichigo tutted and grabbed the next item from the counter and watched it scan as he said his usual round of company ditties.

"Good afternoon, need any help packing?"

"No…Errm… I think I can manage… Kurosaki-kun." Ichigo looked up at a nervously smiling Orihime Inoue. No wonder he had just scanned chocolate sauce, frozen squid and peanut butter.

"Inoue? How are you?" He scanned her honey covered cereal.

"Fine…I guess…You?" She packed her pickled gherkins.

"So so." He rescanned the bag of pink wafer biscuits, then again and again. _Ahh Stupid till!_ He entered the barcode number manually.

"I… heard you lived near by?" She packed her rice cakes and jam.

"Yeah." He ran up her total and told her the price.

"I heard you have four kids now!" She smiled as she said it and handed over her credit card.

"Yeah Masaki is 4, Tamotsu nearly 2 and a bit and the twins Iruki & Kakarau are 10 months." She looked at the way he smiled as he said their names and smiled back at him.

"I'd like to meet them one day." She took back her credit card and receipt.

"Well, I finish in…" he looked at his watch. "Ten minutes?"

…

"Daddy!" Masaki ran into his arms when he arrived at the nursery to pick them all up.

"Hey ya, squid. Where's your bothers?"

"Tamotsu forgot to ask to go the toilet." He laughed as she looked 4 going on 24 shaking her head like that.

"Typical. Too busy playing hey?" She nodded and looked at the lady standing with her daddy. "Oh Masaki this is an old friend of mine. We went to school together. Inoue, Masaki."

"Hi." Inoue smiled and waved.

"Right go and grab your bags for me kid." Ichigo put her down and waved to the room supervisor that he was taking her. She nodded and waved back. He made his way to the toilets and found Tamotsu attempting to put on fresh trousers himself. "Oi, one leg in each hole!" Ichigo laughed kneeling down to free his legs.

"A little accident today Mr. Kurosaki." The nursery assistant explained as she stood nearby changing another child. "But he's being a big boy and trying to dress himself."

"Who's the dude?" Ichigo cheered and Tamotsu raised a hand where they high fived each other laughing. "We'll just add these wet trousers to the pile at home shall we?" Ichigo said prodding the bag of soggy clothes. Ichigo took the boy into his arms and tickled his tummy. "So next time when you wanna pee?"

"Ask for a wee!" The boy sang back and laughed hysterically as Ichigo blew a raspberry on his stomach before throwing him over his shoulder.

"Now see this lovely lady?" Ichigo showed his eldest son a blushing Inoue. "She's coming to have tea with us. Say hello."

"Hello." The boy grinned.

Outside the toilet, Masaki had found the bags and was struggling with the buggy. Ichigo passed the wriggling mass from his shoulder for Orihime to hold. With one quick flip he opened the buggy and clipped the brackets and gestured with his head that they were moving down the corridor.

Inoue was surprised to see the twins were identical; with a flash of ginger hair each to match their sister. They were busy chewing on some plastic teething rings and looked up at Ichigo with a squeal of recognition. "Dadad dada!"

"All fed and watered." The nursery assistant handed Masaki the twins bag. "They were changed a little while ago, but I think their saving a nice pooh for you later."

"Oh such joy." Ichigo laughed picking Iruki up and the assistant held Kakarau until his brother was secured into the buggy and after a kiss to the cheek that matched his brothers, he was happy to be placed into the buggy only to whip his brothers toy from his hands. "See ya tomorrow." He said pushing the buggy out the door and the twins waving calling out 'Tata."

…

Ichigo stood at the sink washing up as Inoue fell onto the sofa. She never thought it was possible to get that wet from bathing children.

"I don't know how you do it. I'm exhausted."

"You get used to it."

"It must be like training I guess; building up all that stamina."

"No I mean you get used to being exhausted." He corrected her. "Hang on." He stopped washing up and headed up the stairs, his parental ears picking up on movement upstairs. She listened to him talking. "Hey you are meant to be in bed not playing Masaki."

"But Daddy…"

"Nope bed. That game can wait until tomorrow. Come on poppet I just wanna sit down and chat to my friend, I don't want to run up and down to you guys all night."

"Kiss Daddy!" She said sounded sad.

"Listen all these kisses, I'll have no lips left!" He laughed. "There. Night sweetheart."

"Night night Daddy."

When he came down the stairs he found the washing up finished and a hot drink waiting. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." She smiled. They sat opposite ends of the sofa and sipped their drinks.

"It's been a long time." He broke the silence.

"Yeah…" She smiled. "I always worried about you. I know what that place was like and… well you know… I just hoped that you were… fine." Her worried looks hadn't changed over the years. This womanly looking creature was still the nervous caring person she always was.

"I survived." He looked into his drink.

"I thought that after Tatsuki… I thought that everything was okay. I survived everything and I was alive… but… I know deep down inside I really wasn't doing so well."

"Did my Dad send you?"

"He… well."

"I'm okay honestly I am. Yeah it's not easy, I'm always tired, I'm always chasing my tail, money isn't great… but I've got my kids. What else do I need?"

"Happiness?" He looked at her honest open eyes. She always wore her heart for everyone one to see and he could feel her concern radiating off her. "I know what that Reimaku does." She pointed to the bracelet on his wrist. "I heard the others talking about you and they are all worried. They want to see you and I know Byakuya keeps trying, he won't give up on you. But really Kurosaki-kun …I think that you have forgotten who you are…You've got lost somewhere, that bracelet won't help you find yourself. We all helped each other back then, we were nakama."

…

Ichigo laid in bed watching the hours tick by. He'd got up once to Kakarau and again for Tamotsu to get him on the toilet before he wet the bed and that was it. His mind was just too active.

_I heard the others talking about you and they are all worried. They want to see you and I know Byakuya keeps trying, __**he won't give up on you**__. But really Kurosaki-kun …I think that you have forgotten who you are…You've got lost somewhere, that bracelet won't help you find yourself. We all helped each other back then, we were __**nakama**_

_You've got lost somewhere_

_You've got lost somewhere_

_I know what that Reimaku does_

He lifted his arm and looked at the bracelet. He never took it off. He hadn't spoken to his Hollow or Zangetsu for so long, he wondered if they were still with him. Maybe he had taken this 'alone' business too far then? What would happen if he just let everyone help him?

He'd get hurt and he'd had enough hurt in his life to send the sanest of men mad. But the difference now…well he had always had someone to prop him up before. Even Aizen propped him up. Now, he'd pushed everyone away that he could and avoided using his family too much.

All in all, the message from them all was that they wanted to help him, he guessed he could admit that they all cared.

The Kurosaki Clinic the Following Morning…

Ichigo walked into Isshin's office.

"You look shattered." Isshin looked away from the x-ray to his son's pale and tired face. He still looked too thin and the dark circles spoke of his sleepless night. "The kids?"

"No… Me." He shrugged. "I called in sick, but… I'm going to quit if you still want me?" Isshin beamed and stood quickly.

"Oh Ichi! Daddy will always want you!" He flew into Isshin mad father mode and Ichigo for once, just laughed as his dad knelt on the floor with his hands together. "Oh thank you Kami that my son has returned to me! Come to me my son and let us show our love for one another!" Had Karin been home, Ichigo knew his father would now be face down in a pool of his own blood, as it was when his father leapt to his feet he didn't resist the rib crunching hug that wrapped around him.

"Just don't let me become an insane Dad like you!" Ichigo laughed.

"Strictly speaking you can't anyway." Isshin laughed. "Your actually their mother." Ichigo jabbed his father in the guts.

"I'm I guy. I don't do this mother bit!" He snapped scowling. "And can you imagine trying to explain it at the nursery!"

"Ahh, Ichi you have truly returned to me!" Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest.

"On the condition that you quit this crap father routine. We are all too old now Dad and you scare the shit out of my kids. Deal?"

"Deal." Isshin grinned.

Byakuya's Memories…

_Ichigo knew what it was like to feel tired. That awful dragging of heavy limbs, the blurring in his mind, eyes that were sore and hard to keep open. How breathing fought to deepen, with each sagging droop of the head. Sleep clawed irresistibly alongside lack of concentration, foggy slurred thoughts swirled slowly around his mind. The desire for everything and everyone to stop, peace, silence. _

"_Ichigo." The voice wasn't harsh nor loud, but it was enough to snap his head up jerking him awake and he looked around a little confused. Rukia and Byakuya were looking at him. His hand had fallen from the top of his eight month bulge of pregnant stomach. _

"_Just resting my eyes." He mumbled._

"_Go to bed." The voice, Rukia's this time, said as the head began to droop._

"_Ng…" Was the mumbled reply. Although he ached for solitude, he didn't want to be alone. _

"_Here." Soft hands pushed him down and placed a cushion beneath his head. A warm throw placed over his rounded shape and silence descended to let him sleep. _

"_Wouldn't he be more comfortable in his room?" Rukia asked still a little taken-a-back by her brothers display of tenderness. _

"_When he wishes to be alone he walks in the garden or sits in the library. Unless the children are also sleeping, he does not sleep during the day in the bedroom. He seems, I feel, to prefer the idea that someone is around." _

So that was the memory that seemed to crop in Byakuya's mind over and over. It was his sole reason to know that Ichigo didn't want in his heart of hearts to be alone. He knew that conflicting feeling of wanting to be alone. From his own bitter experience with love and death he knew that it was easier to push people away than face the things that he should have. He knew that if he had been brave enough he probably would not have been lonely for as long as he had. Even if he'd been brave enough to grasp a closer bond to Rukia earlier, he would have recovered from his own grief so much sooner.

Alone meant hiding and concealing the pain from anyone who tried to help; from anyone who could help. But it was easier to put those feelings of throbbing sorrow out of sight and push them to the back of one's mind far from view of the scrutiny of others.

Suppressing the emotions that came to the surface when a loved one died meant a relief from the sting and smart of peoples attempts to make you feel better. Their words of comfort only made the misery surface again. So he truly did understand Ichigo's need to run from everything that happened. He could only imagine the added pain that the young man was suffering after Aizen's persecution and cruelty.

That's why he was standing here again awaiting the answer of the door. Awaiting what he hoped for once was not going to be another rejection. The sense of wanting to improve Ichigo's life, to support him in his recovery and give him some small attempt of relief & comfort from all the hurt he was going through. He knew Ichigo had learnt to hide his feelings incredibly well, he knew that he had fooled enough people that he was getting himself in order. But that heartfelt outburst with Momo has proven his point. No, he was not going to abandon the man he felt so drawn to. _Had he left enough space between them? Has he given him enough time?_

Kurosaki Clinic…The Present…

"Ichigo? Hey idiot!" Karin slapped him around the head. Ichigo tutted and rubbed his head as his sister thumped a hot drink down the dining table. "You've been spacing out for ages!"

"Sorry." Ichigo sipped the coffee trying to shake the images of Aizen and his speech. He had been so raw from killing the Hollow that stole his mother away that he had far too easily fallen for the man's smooth words.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Family." He answered her quietly swirling the drink carefully and watching the few bubbles that sat on the frothy coffee spin around the cup. "How I… well glad I've got my family." He smiled up at her and she looked at him tutting.

"Whoopee! Nut cases all around. One a violent idiot, one a cry baby and you mooning around pretending you're a damn woman… Yeah glad you got a dysfunctional family."

"And one family member pretending they don't care." Ichigo added. "Do you know that every time I needed dad, or you've needed him, he's always been here Karin. He's always tried to keep us together after mum died and make us happy. You can't say he hasn't shown he loves us in some perverse sort of way."

"I guess."

"Just as you can't say that Yuzu doesn't care, cos she's always looking after us, cooking and cleaning and crying about us."

"I guess yeah."

"And then there's you."

"Me?"

"Acting as if nothing touches you, nothing hurts and you don't give a damn. When you always say the opposite of what you mean."

"I do not!"

"Dysfunctional or togetherness? I know what you really mean."

"This your new shrink making you all philosophical all of a sudden?"

"Its been a long time since she died Karin, you can give it all up now. We've been through enough crap together to realise being angry all the time doesn't help."

"I like being angry."

"Opposites."

"Shut up!"

"Your good at making coffee."

"…You're a good brother I guess too."

"What? I don't think I heard that?" Karin jumped as he was suddenly behind her, his arms around her with a grin on his face.

"Get off me!" She laughed as he tickled her.

"Love ya sis."

"Yeah. Like wise stupid." She held the arms that were now hugging and not tickling.

"I got to go. You remembered Yuzu is going to be late, she's picking the kids up for me?" She hated the fact he'd let go of her but glad for once she hadn't rowed with him.

"Yup." He threw the last of his coffee down his throat as he walked towards the sink and picked his keys up from the worktop. "I heard about you going to see Byakuya last month. Tōshirō told me."

"How's Momo?"

"He said she's beginning to open up a little now."

"Good." He smiled and went to leave.

"I'm sorry by the way."

"Huh?" He frowned spinning around to her on the spot, that was not a word she used often and he didn't want to misinterpret what she was trying to say.

"Yuzu does a lot for you and Dad with this fake job of yours!" she laughed.

"Anyway…I guess I could have done more."

"You know I think you just did." He winked. "We're all alive Karin, our family has grown and we are still together. That's something I've realised is worth being thankful for."

Back Home…

"Daddy!" Ichigo opened the front door and was greeted by an enthusiastic Masaki running towards him her outfit covered in mud and crashing into him with mud encrusted hands. Working Sunday's had it benefits when he came home to a greeting like that. He lifted her up and looked at her positively glowing face.

"What on earth have you been doing?"

"Gardening!" She laughed. "Byakuya-kun said brought me a tree and some flowers and we've been planting them all!"

Ichigo stepped closer to the garden doors and looked at out the twins elbow deep in mud, their grins covered in mud, their hair, their clothes. Tamotsu held a shovel over his should like Ikkaku used to with his Zanpakuto. Byakuya it seemed also had a talent for covering his children with mud and leave himself totally splatter free.

The garden itself however for its sea of mud, did appear to show some form of a real garden. Well with a little imagination.

"There's going to be a pond!" Tamotsu said cheerfully "And and and can we have fish?" He asked his face shining with enthusiasm.

"Where is my sister?" Ichigo directed his calm question to Byakuya.

"Children. Here plant these last ones for me." Byakuya said taking Ichigo's all too calm expression and even tone as a bad sign.

He put Masaki down and told her to watch her little brothers as Byakuya kicked off his shoes at the doorway. Ichigo closed the door to the garden.

"What are you doing?"

"I knew they loved my garden. I thought they would like it."

"Byakuya!"

"Ichigo, they have enjoyed themselves."

"Don't!" He wagged a finger at him.

"Don't what?" Ichigo walked away inhaling sharply and shaking his head. He stood further away hands on hips and looked at the man with anger in his eyes.

"I want you to leave."

"But we haven't finished."

"Listen. I know your game. I know that you think you can walk in here apologise and everything will be fine. But it's too late for that. Everything you say to me its… I don't want what you're offering."

"I can see inside you. You need someone Ichigo, you need someone to lean on. You're just scared."

"Too right I'm scared. I carry around with me what happened every day. How do you think I feel when I look at my children and in one hand feel the amount of love I have for them and in the other hand I think of how they came about. I look at this miserable house and work my shitty job and think of what was taken away from me. Everything I was is gone." He paced the room clearly agitated. "I was a fool that damn well fell for all that love bullshit before and where did it get me? Hurt and used. I was a punching bag for a domineering man, a distraction from the war. Stripped of everything I valued, living in a fear that I don't ever think I'll shake off. I don't want anyone. I don't need any one. I just want to get back to where I should be and that doesn't include a relationship with anyone. Why do you think I ran away? Why do you think I hid and I wear this damn bracelet all the time? I just want to be **normal** again. I just want some time to myself to pretend that the nightmare didn't happen. That I didn't lose five years of my life. Please Byakuya. Go."

"If I walked over to you now and held you, you wouldn't push me away. I don't want to take away anything your building here."

"No? What was that little speech at the fourth? Was that my imagination that you wanted me to have a kid for you? I doubt that you even care for me at all, you just see me as something to use to get what you want and I am not walking that path again."

"If you give me a chance…"

"No. No chances. I can't do chances; I can't give you the opportunity to talk me around. I don't want to be talked around; get it?" The pause was long and haunted by so many more words that should have been said but weren't. Byakuya headed towards the door and paused for one last insight into this strange Ichigo.

"Just tell me Ichigo, if you could wish for anything in the world and I could grant you that wish, what would you wish for?"

"That rather than living this life, that I died instead of my mother and that none of this ever happened to me. You can't give me that can you? No one ever gave me that release when I wanted it. You can't do it. Sosuke couldn't do it and now I can't do it."

Byakuya was shocked to hear Ichigo talking like that. The last thing he could do right now as walk away leaving him in this state. "A relationship won't work Byakuya my children are human with souls. We are all very much alive and you are not. You never have been. Please leave me alone before you make all this worse."


	16. Finding Trust

Hello thinking

Seireitei a Week Later…

Ichigo looked at the woman standing in front of him unsure of what she was going to do. It was probably the last person he had wanted to run into, but it seems that she had wanted to run into him. This was no accidental meeting, word had obviously got around quickly that he was in Soul Society. Shit they probably felt him arrive without the bracelet on to mask his energy. The street was certainly filling up with people watching the confrontation take place. The air thickened with a passion for revenge and it was all seeping off the woman holding a sword and pointing at the ginger haired man.

"You…Killed… Him." She said slowly her eyes filling with tears and hatred. "Why did he love **you**? Why did he want **you**? **I** could have given him children? **Why you?** **Why you**?...Your a **MAN**!...**A HUMAN**!"

"Sosuke used us both Hinamori. He **used **us." He felt a compassion for her, he understood her like no one else here in her world. If she killed him, she would be taking away her only link to sanity.

"I loved him." She breathed the word with pain and her sword threatened close to his chest. Ichigo gestured with his hand to ward off the arriving concerned Rukia.

"Because he made you." His voice stayed calm and he kept his gaze on her sad dark eyes. The years had not been kind to her and she looked frail but not beyond help.

"Did you love him like I do?"

"Not as you do."

"Is that why you killed him?"

He wasn't going to lie about his understanding of the relationship now. He didn't care for those that were going to be horrified to hear of the word love in connection to Aizen. They had not benefitted from the experience of being in his direct presence. That and familiar energies were arriving all the time and the crowd around them was growing by the minute. Some truths needed to be known.

Rukia and Renji's eyes noticed Byakuya at the back of the crowd, there was no doubt that Ichigo had felt him too.

"I lied to him as much as he lied to me. But I did care for him and I did love him in my own way just as he planned, just as he planned for you too. He made us love him. He used his sword and played us for fools. But I am stronger than you."

"What!"

"Because you refuse to listen to the truth, you are weak because you **choose** to cling to a falsehood implanted wrongfully inside your mind. I can acknowledge that my love for Sosuke was not of my doing but the result of his manipulations. Yet you cling to the idea that this obsessive love you have is **real**. **He took away your life without killing you**. He took away **my** life without killing me and because I've got my children, it means I won't ever escape what he did to me. You can. You can choose to see the facts instead of prolonging your living death. Wake up and open your eyes Hinamori his sword is broken."

Her sword faltered too and she looked on the edge of breaking again. Ichigo stepped forward, he raised a hand slowly to grip her blade and remove it from her hand. Her scared puppy eyes stared like hollow caverns of darkness. He dropped the blade to the floor and stepped forward again, his face full of concern for her.

"I understand how you feel. I feel it too. I killed him to free myself. I killed him to free my children, I killed him to save my friends and I killed him to free millions of humans and souls from a needless death. Inside you there is a reason to stay alive, a reason that you fear isn't there?"

She nodded.

"Feeling fear means we are breathing. Feeling the pain means we are living. For everything he did to us… If we grasp just a handful of happiness for every lie we suffered, we will have enough to be alive again...Just one handful at a time that's all I know **I** can do. That's all I can cope with, but I'm going to make them the biggest handfuls I can Hinamori." Tears freely feel from his eyes now and she reached gingerly up to touch the dampness. He had only thought these thoughts briefly and now he was saying them aloud he felt them with conviction.

"A handful?" She asked and he nodded.

"Everything is going to be okay. Eventually, we'll know we are alive again." He took her insubstantial frame into his arms and held her. He held her tightly so she couldn't mistake the hope he felt. He wanted her to understand he knew her pain; he shared it with her. As her held tightened, he knew he had touched her. She understood.

His first faltering step in overcoming Aizen's hold on him had been taken.

Ichigo's eyes looked over from her shoulder and fell instantly into Byakuya's.

The First Handful Accepted…

The crowd had been dispersed by Hitsugaya Toshiro as he arrived to take away the crying sister he had yearned to heal. Renji and Rukia prowled around the street making everyone take a wide birth around the two men who stood in the middle of the street a few meters apart, their eyes locked only on each other. "When we spoke at the hospital that day…" Byakuya started.

"When you spoke having made the decisions in the hospital that day." Ichigo reminded him.

They both recalled the words easily.

"_Ichigo, I have enjoyed not only the children's company but yours also. I would have liked you to stay with me. Let me adopt the children and be the parent they are missing, possibly we could have had one of our own?"_

"_What!" Ichigo's eyes opened in horror. "Get out! Get out!" He shouted. "Unohana, Isane…Dad!" He stretched in the direction of the door. "GET HIM OUT!"… _

Byakuya had not for the first time thought how poorly he had handled that. If anyone should have realised how much Ichigo was hurting, it was him. He had let his failed upbringing fail him once again; Failed Ichigo way beyond comprehension.

"Ichigo I am not very good at these things, I have little recent or relevant experience. You have to give me as much patience for that as I obviously should have given you."

"I know what you want to say Byakuya and your going to try and sugar it up or soften the blow. But what you said however you rephrase it, you still mean it. What you said you still want. Right?"

"Yes." How could he deny it? His frequent visits to the house were evidence of that. His frequent times at being thrown out were testament that he'd keep pressing for understanding. He wasn't going to give up on Ichigo just because Ichigo had given up on himself.

Ichigo was prepared to meet the man half way at this point. That was his whole reason for coming here. He had been on his way to the Kuchiki Mansion to see him. His own behaviour had been irrational and inconsiderate. He'd never explained.

"You ran from a crawl to a sprint in a sentence. One minute offering help the next to take over my life. Just give me some time… Let me think some more. I'm not sure whether I want that crawl or the sprint. I'm just coming to terms with the idea that I … feel something for you, that's about all I can do right now. Will you…Can you just slow down and I mean right down?"

"Would I deny you anything?"

"I seem to have a thing for people who are larger than life. Organisers, managers…dominate. I don't want to be pushed somewhere I don't want to go or that I'm not ready for. I'm only 20."

"I'm not."

"SO let me catch up a bit!" Ichigo was finding this whole thing impossibly difficult. Byakuya's own self imposed restrictions on life were not helping. The man only ever said just as much as he needed to which just left Ichigo hopelessly lost right now.

"Taking it slow? I understand the reasoning. Could you tell me what it means…I don't want to over step any boundaries." The unsure look on Ichigo's face meant that he didn't really know the boundaries either. "Once when you were expecting the twins. You held me, is that permissible?"

"It might be." Ichigo nodded.

"One step at a time?" He shrugged. Byakuya stepped forward a few paces and Ichigo did the same. There was still a reasonable space between them, and neither wanted to make that last step to be a mistake ruining the bridge they were trying to build.

"And this handful business. Have you had a full handful today? Would holding you now be a handful too much?" Ichigo shrugged again. It seemed like a weird thing to be talking about here on the street but where ever this conversation happened, he knew he'd feel the same amount of anticipation and even larger amount of anxiety. But the important factor that he had said it and it had been heard and understood. He had followed through on the next steps of his recovery. Today had been an achievement beyond his expectations, he didn't feel so weak anymore.

Byakuya was stiff and rigid waiting until the right moment to step forward and hold something he wanted so badly. Denial comes hard to someone who usually gets everything they want. How does one do this? It seemed so unnatural to be wondering where he should place his hands.

Ichigo closed his eyes and attempted to come to terms with the emotions he had been fighting with all this time. His fear was rearing its head more prominently than he would have liked and it held him back.

"You don't need to be alone…" Byakuya's words were there just in front of him, he'd taken the last steps anxious of the pain in Ichigo's face. Ichigo opened his eyes and let a large fat tear roll heavily down his cheek. His head lowered and he stepped the last pace forward into the warmth of the aristocrats arms and just let them wrap themselves around him. "…and you're not anymore." Byakuya finished whispered softly into his ear.

Ichigo leaned into the hold and wound his arms tightly around Byakuya's waist.

A Tiny House on the Seedy Side of Town…

"Sorry I'm late." Ichigo shut the door behind himself and threw his keys down on the worktop as a yell of children began to run towards him. He knelt on the ground and hugged them all, trying not to fall over at their enthusiasm. "What's got into you lot?" He smiled at them already knowing the answer, he'd sensed Byakuya well before he'd got home.

"Ichi…I hope you didn't mind me letting him in, Only last time…" Yuzu looked at her brother worried as his eyes cast over the two adults watching him get up from the strangling hold of Tamotsu.

"No. Its fine Yuzu." The two siblings hugged. "Thanks for looking after them again."

"You know I like doing it."

"And you've cleaned up." He could tell. The place was usually quite tidy and clean enough, but the Yuzu treatment was ruthless. The place gleamed. Later he'd find his laundry done, the children's room tidy and fresh bedding on his bed.

"I better go. Dad will be trying to cook something otherwise." She smiled and they exchanged another hug and kissed each other on the cheek. "Bye." She waved to the quiet man observing them who nodded his farewell.

"Well I bet you lot are hungry?" Ichigo looked down at the children who all gave him a long list of contraband that they'd eaten since coming home from the nursery. He sighed and put the kettle on, he was hungry anyway even if they weren't.

Byakuya didn't intrude on Ichigo's thoughts, it was enough he allowed him to stop without throwing him out. The noble was content to be in the presence of this happy little family. He watched the children running in the garden. The garden looked surprisingly in good order. The pond he had started was finished, there were more plants, a wooden walkway, a large swing and decking near the doors that the twins were happily attempting to walk on.

"I was nagged into finishing it." Ichigo stated holding a mug of green tea in front of Byakuya. "Dad helped me which is good as I realised I am useless with anything like that."

Byakuya walked behind Ichigo and they sat on the bench half way down the garden.

"Your sister informs me you no longer work in that convenience store?"

"I work with dad now. When I say work, I mean be his slave, running around getting old dears into Taxi's and refilling the stock cupboards. On a good day, I get to clean the loos and make all beds too. He says every doctor should start at the bottom and work his way up."

"Is that what you want to do? Be a doctor?"

"I don't know what I want to do…Which isn't good seeing as he's already sent off applications for university for me."

"And school?"

"Almost finished. My sensei nearly passed out when I handed in my outstanding work completed and for once not covered in pureed carrots." He chuckled glancing round at the children.

Ichigo almost threw his cup at Byakuya as Tamotsu slipped backwards off the swing.

"I told you, you can't let go last time you tried that!" He sat back down with a crying child rubbing his head where the swing had swung back and clonked him on the forehead. Ichigo tried to understand the babble of griping that came between the sobs and just shook his head and kissed the red mark. The child snuggled into Ichigo's shoulder, put his thumb in his mouth and wrapped his other arm around Ichigo's neck to gently rub the ginger hair between his fingers.

The peace didn't last long as Kakarau stole Iruki's toy and more cries came from that end of the garden. The neighbour, yes that one, let out his new yippy dog who barked incessantly until Ichigo threatened rather loudly to scale the fence and strangle the dog with the owners entrails – which surprised Byakuya.

He watched amazed as Ichigo, heated up the twins meal a mashed up version of what ever the others had eaten the night before, cleared away the mass of destruction that their independent feeding produced, made the rest of them a simple rice and meat dish which rivalled his chefs at home and bathed them all. Several stories and glasses of milk, or one last breast feed and they were all tucked up in bed.

Ichigo finally sat back with Byakuya in the lounge passing him a glass of Australian wine.

"Ever tried this?"

"I had a store of wine."

"Really? Well cheers." Ichigo took a sip and leant back in the chair, his long legs crossing at the ankles and stretched out into the lounge; thereby nearly crossing the whole room's span. "Thanks for helping with the kids." Ichigo managed to get them to bed in record time thanks to Byakuya dressing the two eldest and clearing away the tea things.

"My pleasure." The noble replied finding the wine was rather good. "So what does a parent of four do when they are all in bed?"

"Revise. Clean and try and keep on top of the laundry. Or in reality usually fall asleep on the sofa and wake up cold about midnight."

"When does that leave you time to rest?"

"I don't."

"You should."

"I keep myself busy. Its better that way." He said downing the glass quickly and rising to refill it. Byakuya watched him almost down that glass in one go before refilling it again. He offered Byakuya another but he shook his head.

"You always drink like that?"

"To be honest I hardly ever drink, a vice I know I'd use to its full advantage otherwise. This bottle had been sitting in the fridge for ages. I needed some Dutch courage."

"Why?"

"Cos. That's all." Ichigo sighed and leaned against the ugly mantle looking into the mirror and over at Byakuya's reflection. He watched him stand, lay his glass on the table, and approach. "I didn't expect you to leave it this long before coming around."

"You needed time you said. I would not want to take advantage…"

"Do you know where I have been today?" Ichigo turned to face Byakuya. They stood hands by their sides, their faces watching each other intently. It had been like this in the mansion after Ichigo visited last month. Byakuya hadn't dare step forward again and scare Ichigo away. He respected that space again, letting Ichigo set the pace.

"Your sister said you had an appointment that is all."

"I've started to see a guy, someone recommended by Uryuu's dad funny enough."

"Oh." Byakuya let a moment of confusion pass his eyes.

"Not see as in see. I mean… Head doctor, shrink... Someone who knows that I'm not a complete freak and that there is such a place as Seireitei. I think I would have been banged up as nut case otherwise." Ichigo gave a small smile and saw the relief pass in the confusions place. He stepped forward close enough to feel the warmth radiating off Byakuya, but still neither touched.

"Does it help?" Byakuya kept his groan of pleasure inside as Ichigo stroked a dark lock of hair over his shoulder and let his wrist rest there, to hold some of the silken strands in his fingers much as his son had done to him earlier. Ichigo's eyes stayed on the hair in his fingers instead of the face he knew he was being drawn to.

"Its more a get to know each other at the moment. He asks a lot about my family… how we get on and that."

"Very well from what I observe." Ichigo nodded and leant into the man, resting his head on his shoulder, his forehead against Byakuya's jaw. The strong arms of the aristocrat reached around him and held him. "I would have liked to be closer to at least Rukia, but… we do not seem to get past the formalities. I would have liked to have a family like yours Ichigo. You all show your feelings so clearly."

_**Go on kiss him! **_

"Shut up." Ichigo said then realised as Byakuya pulled back that he'd said it out loud. The Hollow inside him laughed hysterically. "You stupid bastard." He cursed again and looked at Byakuya. "My hollow having a stupid joke. Sorry."

"I wondered if I was about to be pushed out again."

"No. Not this time." Ichigo felt a huge loss at the space that had appeared between them again. He went to tentatively reach forward and touch the man again, but let his hand fall back. His Dutch courage evaporating with his Hollows teasing. It hadn't gone unnoticed from Byakuya's dark eyes.

"Ichigo, let me in just a little. Just enough to know what you expect of me. Just enough to let me be more than a token of a that happiness you want."

"I want… God I want so much." His eyes darted between the two deep eyes of the man he just wanted to hold and be held by. "I don't want to screw this up. It isn't just me who'll get hurt. The kids adore you…I can't let afford to let them down again."

"How on earth could you ever let them down? From what I know Ichigo, you have done more than any parent would have to for their children."

"How many parents took their children away from the only home they had ever know without any warning? How many parents moved their children again in an irrational fit of rage only a few months later. And to add to that, it was a home they were happy in with people they loved and bring them to a dump like this? How many 'mothers' let the father beat them? How many mothers let the father beat the children just to get what he wanted? Hey how about how many mothers killed their children's father right in front of them?" _Oh god I remember it all now…I remember his idea of family…_ "I remember…what a fool I was to be taken in by Sosuke's lies." Ichigo found he was weeping into Byakuya's shoulder not even remembering making the step towards him.

The one lesson Byakuya had learnt was that it was safer to say nothing than fall into the same trap of repeating anything Aizen would have said. Ichigo didn't need pointless words he needed the physical proof that being upset was valid and acceptable. He needed to know that the arms that held him cared enough to share his compounded torment. That the man that held him wanted to heal him.

"Daddy?" The sound a Masaki at the top of the stairs made Ichigo jolt out of Byakuya's arms and turn away to wipe his face. Byakuya turned to the child and her brother sitting on the top step. _How much have they heard?_ He wondered.

"I think, you should both be in your beds." Byakuya started up the stairs towards them and extended his hands for them to take. He took them back to their beds and tucked them in.

"Why is daddy crying?"

…

Byakuya headed back down the stairs out into the garden where Ichigo was sitting on the bench again. He held a cup of milky coffee to his lips, sipping the scorching liquid. The hands he noticed were shaky and he was avoiding Byakuya's scrutiny.

"Tea under the seat." He said simply.

"Thank you." The man stated reaching down to pick the hot mug up.

"Why are you bothering with me?" Neither looked at each other, they sat sitting looking ahead but their eyes were not really seeing anything. All that mattered was the words they said to one another. The odd twitches, gestures of their hands or fidget of their feet was immaterial.

"Because I want to."

"You always get what you want?"

"No. Nearly always." He gave a rue smile and Ichigo snorted.

"Your family know that you wanted to adopt my children?"

"No." He didn't respond to the use of wanted instead of want.

"What will they say?"

_Will not would? _"They will come around I am sure."

"When you can produce an heir?"

"I think that would swing the argument." He was honest at least.

"And if I've already told Unohana to ensure I couldn't have anymore?"

"But you haven't."

"I could have."

"Ichigo…You know what I want, but I do not know what you want from me? Do you even know?"

"I want happy ever after. Doesn't everyone?"

"Is that with me?"

"I don't know…I can't just leave everything I have here."

"Ichigo you have been missing for three years. There isn't a lot of things here to keep you. You have not made a lasting impression on this place, it has not mourned your disappearance nor celebrated your return." Ichigo thought on his words a moment. It was a harsh truth to hear. But the noble had not finished. "You would be welcome to live your life as we do. Our community holds you in high regard and they feel a sense of safety knowing you are there smiting their worst enemies and giving your sense of loyalty and morals to the children who would have once been taught to tear their world apart. You are a hero." Byakuya continued making one last appeal. "You would be welcome in my home, you are already in my heart. My thoughts are full of you, my time spent wanting to be in your company. I don't care Ichigo if you do not feel the same, I would happily take what little you could give me. I do not want to be that dominating person you fear. I do not want to step into the shoes of a man who broke your heart and tore you apart. I do not care if you loved him nor if you do_ still_ love him. I only care that I love your children and I love _you_."

The long silence scored onto Byakuya's conscience. He felt the confusion, anger and hope. There was a battle raging inside the younger mans mind and thoughts crashed and thrashed around his head.

"I'm tired, its late I think I need to go to bed." Ichigo answered standing and picking up the empty cups. Byakuya watched him walk indoor and place the mugs in the sink. He followed him inside and stood behind him as he washed the cups and glasses.

"Can I…hold you?" He asked wishing that his embrace would help to settle him.

"Please." Ichigo whispered. He leaned into the hold that wrapped around him and he closed his eyes. "I don't want to be alone anymore." He said quietly. The feel of reasting back against the aromatic lord, the feel of his arms around his stomach, the soft breathing passing his ear was all too welcome. Too comforting.

_So his trip last month had still left him feeling alone? _"You haven't been alone, just blind." Byakuya, reached around, took the wet glass from his hand and turned him around. He didn't give Ichigo a moment to hesitate or refuse, he just pressed into his lips searching out for anything in return. Ichigo melted into the warmth and returned the kiss with the tenderness shown to him.

"Do you have to get back?" He whispered his lips pulling away.

"No."

…

"Its funny how you never register the comfort and safety that flows through you when someone is lying beside you night after night. You just take that presence for granted. But once it's gone, you suddenly find that going to sleep isn't so easy anymore. All the times you'd wished that there wasn't anyone to hog all the covers, or to force you to the very edge of the bed whilst they took up all the space, suddenly seem irrelevant because you'd give anything to feel their breath on your neck, their warmth tucking in behind you…listen to the noises they make as they lay in a deep sleep." Although in the dark room Byakuya couldn't see Ichigo's face as he spoke, he certainly felt the waves of uncertainty and nerves pouring from him.

They lay on their own sides of the bed the 10cm space between them like a vast chasm. Had Ichigo not remembered the house needed locking up downstairs, their kissing may well have taken them further, but Byakuya realised that even this may have been a leap too far for Ichigo.

"Do you still miss Hisana?" The question suddenly threw Byakuya.

"I have had partners since. Short term things that really meant nothing…But I have got used to her not being around. It is not something I particularly dwell on, I cannot return her to life. Therefore I cannot have her again." Ichigo rolled onto his side and Byakuya turned his head to see him.

"Male partners?"

"I cannot see the need to label people in such a way. If someone is attractive what does their gender matter? He raised a hand to touch the face that stared at him. "You and I think very differently about such things. I have been trained to think in factual terms. My emotions are separate from logic. One I can internalise the other I life my life by, that has been my safest route through life. Emotions caused me to hurt my family, to disappoint my clan and give me many years of misery."

"Then all of this with me?"

"Is a contradiction I find myself drawn into." Byakuya put down his hand and rolled onto his side to face the young man. "I feel the same as other people do. I have the same weakness for love and company. I find that with you, I am not walking around constantly moderating my temper. In your company I find I feel at ease with the conflict… At ease with myself." They held hands between them, their fingers interlocked. "So if your question regards male partners for a relationship or male partners for intercourse; neither matters. I am not going to rush you into this. I gratefully accept somewhere to lay my head and rest."

Ichigo wanted more. He knew he did. But he couldn't move that far yet. What a stupid idea it was to bring him up here they way he did. One moment he's spouting about not rushing and the next he gives in to some basic compulsion and wants to fuck the guy senseless. Ichigo's self loathing showed by the way he dipped his head and sighed in a disappointed exhalation.

"You know before love a soul searches for companionship, someone who will share their moments with in a friendship. It seeks a bond then to form a closeness, someone with whom it will feel an alliance and safe familiarity. Before you know it, you want to care for that person, you want to be with them all the time you can and find every moment with them you realise how attractive they are. Soon you blink and you are in love. Did you find that you had that before?"

"Tatsuki." He nodded whispering her name. "It was so brief I feel like a fraud for how I felt about her. I felt like a fraud for not being as upset as I should …but life sort of happened and I had a lot more to worry about…I never put myself as the top priority and anytime I thought of her, Sosuke would be there threatening Masaki or trying to…well. I didn't mean to not respect her memory. My life got used to her not being there and she was forgotten. I was so confused about Sosuke and what I felt about him. But I never had the friendship with him. I never felt an allegiance. Familiarity was being hurt not loved… I never saw her die, it's as if she just went away and got on with her life just like all my friends. One day she'll walk back into my life and clip me round the ear and shout at me for upsetting Inoue."

"What about me?" Ichigo shuffled closer the man, his heart pounded in his chest and he felt anxious. Byakuya locked his arms around Ichigo's back and held him against his chest. When he spoke it was quiet and pained.

"I know my soul has found a friend. I do feel safe with you, just not safe from myself and my memories. I care for you, I want to be with you…Don't press me yet on anything more."


	17. Sharing Love

_Hello_ thinking

The Shrink's Office…

"Ichigo, how have you been?" The shrink shook his hand and gestured for him to sit in the arm chair just across the small room. Ichigo as usual shrugged and he sat taking in this plain little room. How many people had cried out their worst nightmares in here? These magnolia walls could probably tell a tale or two. The plant on the side table next to him, looked a little more wilted than his last visit and he tipped some of his water into the pot. "You did that last time."

"It looks like its been waiting for me." Ichigo smiled at the man and his peppered spiky hair, the stripes on his shirt was blue today, but he'd opted for a red tie for some reason. His dark slacks were the usual navy and his shoes as impeccably clean. He held the folder of notes of Ichigo on his lap, an open pad poised to make notes as the young man talked. His pen currently rested between the thumb and forefinger of both hands and he was being studied intently. The small almost non-existent smile reminded Ichigo of Sosuke.

"Looking after things is important to you isn't it? I mean its just a pot plant and what happens now when you run out of water and your throat is dry."

"I'll survive the plant wouldn't." Ichigo looked the man in the eyes, sometimes he was so transparent in what he wanted Ichigo to say.

"Wouldn't someone else come along and water it?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe."

"It would bother you to leave it?"

"Yeah." Ichigo nodded. "It's a living thing."

"If it was a Hollow…"

He thought of Nell in the desert when he first went to find Orihime.

"It still be a living thing. Hollows have feelings, sensations, fears. Who is a terrorist? The man living in his country all his life protecting his family or the so called democrats who think he should be living more like he does and invades his land?"

"So are you the man protecting his family and Aizen Sosuke the invader?"

"If it were that simple then I would be."

"But isn't it that simple? Tell me again about Aizen's first time with you."

"You want me to see your point of view. The view that everyone has that Aizen was a monster and I should be feeling happy that he's dead?"

"I want you to understand your own feelings. It doesn't matter what I feel. I'm not meeting you to know my own mind on such a man. If you decide to walk out of my doors totally in love with him then that is fine."

"I have a new boyfriend." Calling Byakuya a boyfriend seemed a little odd even to his own ears.

"Is that good then?" He wondered on the relevance to what Ichigo was saying.

"He said that he didn't care if I still loved Sosuke."

"Still?" Ichigo kicked himself mentally how did he fall for that one? "You say that as if it is an absolute."

"I… miss him. I just don't know what to think. One moment my mind is remembering the nice things he did for me and then the next it thinks of all the times he hit me."

"Or raped and abused you." Ichigo winced. "You don't like that word do you? Rape."

"It's not a word to like is it?" He wasn't going to get away with answering with a question and he sighed. "No. I don't like that word. Rape. Its horrible."

"If the act of rape was called Sukura, do you think you'd hate the blossom too?"

"Sukura means the blossom doesn't it."

"Not if we grew up only knowing that it meant that. If we were all trained into thinking that it meant rape?" He studied Ichigo's face, it wasn't giving much away today, he was certainly holding onto his feelings, guarding himself against the pain. "Ichigo, tell me about this new man." He tried to get him to relax a little more. "From what you have said already, it sounds like he's a rather special person."

"He is." Ichigo looked at his hands as his mind filled Byakuya's face. "He has this stunning face…just so perfect. His hair is the darkness of night and he's patient and understanding. When ever I need him of late, he just seems to turn up, there on my door with a treat for my children and his presence just…I don't know…makes me feel better."

Somehow knowing he had someone behind him, ready to pick him up when he was in pieces made it easier to talk. "Sosuke raped me." He said quietly his fingers tugging at each other. "He raped me a lot… I don't know that I ever wanted it… I just needed someone to love me…and he did. When he was loving, I didn't feel so bad. I didn't want him to stop. I liked the attention, the things he said to me then…he made the other times seem less important… he spoke to me like no one ever had. Like he really did care and want me. I don't know how to phrase it right without it sounding weird… I spent my school life being ridiculed and put down, even beaten up because I was different to them and then along comes someone who made me feel as if I could be liked, that it didn't matter I was different that was in fact what he liked about me. Trapped there, with no one to tell me the difference between rape and love, I didn't know that it was wrong… I hadn't had any experience before, to know that it was wrong. I just knew that sometimes I didn't like it and it hurt. The edges between right and wrong were blurred. I just tried to hold onto the thoughts that kept me going… loving him, going along with him made it easier." Ichigo felt a pricking in his eyes and he grabbed some tissue from the box that sat next to the plant and he held it ready between his hands as if it was permission for him to cry. His fingers twisted at the delicate paper as his mind could hear Aizen's voice as if he was here in the room...

Division 6 …

Byakuya looked at the book passed into his hand.

"What is this?"

"A diary." Sajin Komamura looked down through his fox eyes from his height at the surprised noble.

"And why would I want to see someone's diary?"

"Because we found it when we searched Aizen's private rooms. It's Ichigo's."

Byakuya sat with a thump in his chair and looked at the book thoughtfully_. _

_Ichigo. All his thoughts from that time._

"We are surprised we only just found it, it was hidden in the rubble of that area."

"Why are you giving this to me?" he wished his hands weren't trembling the way they were. The words inside this book were already calling to him and he felt the rage for Aizen building inside him. He put the book on the table to hide his hands underneath his desk.

"Well, we thought you would know his frame of mind and decide whether he should have it or not…The last page…throws another light on Ichigo killing Aizen."

"You read the entire thing!" _Didn't Ichigo deserve his privacy? Didn't he suffer enough and have the right to keep that to himself. Keep his mind free from the prying and gossip of others that could not comprehend the pain?_

"No, it was open on the last page."

Reluctantly Byakuya opened the book and saw Ichigo's poem. But underneath in different handwriting Byakuya knew to be Aizen's from reports he had read. The cool steel eyes read the return poem…

_If I can stop one heart from breaking_

_I shall not live in vain_

_If I can ease one life the aching,_

_Or cool one pain_

_Or help one lonely person_

_Into happiness again_

_I shall not have lived in vain. _

_Good bye my love. _

"Byakuya?" The man had gone deathly pale.

"Please leave." He breathed out harshly his face contorted into anguish that he was trying to contain and failing. "Please leave me."

Back to The Shrink's Office…

"Now you feel ashamed?" The shrink had watched his mind wander and end on an expression that so many of his clients used. Ichigo nodded. It was turning out the same with each of his visits that any memories he had made all those emotions run around him again. This time the emotions seemed all the more intense for the length of time he denied them. When he spoke his voice sounded out those raw emotions.

"Everyone keeps telling me it was wrong and assumes I hate him…I feel guilty that I don't hate him more, that ...I might want him back." He tipped his head up and blinked back the tears. "I know that _all_ I want is to feel that wanted again…I want to feel that _I am_ special to someone again. That I'm not some male freak that can have children."

"Everyone wants to be loved."

"How do I know the difference between love and an illusion?"

"Have you ever been in love before?" Ichigo nodded. "Did it feel different?"

"She was just there for me. Tatsuki, just knew when and what to say. She made me feel better… I wanted to be with her all the time, touch her and talk to her… It wasn't based on sex or making each other comply. It was about making each other happy. If she was here now and I told her I wanted to be with Byakuya, she'd let me go if she knew it made me happy…she died because of me." His voice broke. "Do they all have to die for loving me?" Fat ribbons of tears were now falling down his face and he screwed his hands into his eyes to force them to stop. "Indirectly I killed her too. If I had made her stay away…he would have left her alone, she'd be alive. I should have known." he needed time to gather himself before words could come from his bitten lips. "Everyone else that loves me, Tatsuki, dad, Byakuya, my friends…everyone wants to protect me, help me…Aizen wanted something from me, even if it was love, no one else _demands_ that I love them."

"Then do you really love him?"

"..." He looked like a lost child scared of his own mind and the answer that wanted to form on his lips. Was that just all the illusion again?

"If I told you he was alive and outside that door now?"

"NO!" He looked up startled. The fear that he was sent this spiritual energy to flood the room. _No don't let him take me back there!_

The Seedy Side of Town…

Ichigo slid his keys into his front door and paused to gather his thoughts letting out a controlled long breath to steady himself.

The kids all rushed forward the moment he stepped indoors and he pushed a smile on his face. He hugged them all and kept hold of Iruki when he whimpered not to be put down. But he just had nothing to give.

"Ichigo?" Yuzu looked at her brothers tired and puffy face.

"Yuzu, could you stay on tonight? I just wanna go to bed?" He pushed the child away from him into his sisters arms.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked patting the upset baby's back. He inhaled and shook his head with a weary look. She smiled back. "How about I take them back with me?"

"I don't know…" He always said one day they could, but he'd never agreed yet. The only thing that had ever separated them before was a stay in with the medics. Ichigo's hand reached forward and let Iruki's hand hold his finger whilst his thumb rubbed the back of the babies hand.

"We'll call if anything happens." He still looked unsure. "I promise they'll be fine."

"I'll get their stuff ready." He said running his hand through his hair, he looked really tired and she touched his arm.

"No, just go to bed I can do it."

…

Yuzu opened the door making sure the two eldest were clinging onto the sides of the buggy and mentally counting the number of bags related to the number of children.

"Oh!" She said standing upright to see Byakuya standing in front of her. "You scared me!"

"I apologise. Is Ichigo not home?" He frowned sure that he could feel him.

"He's gone to bed. The kids are coming for a sleep over." She gave him a half smile.

"We'd better be going." She wanted to move out of the area well before it got dark. This wasn't the place to be found alone if you were female.

"I'd best go to then." Byakuya stated but wishing he could stay.

"Actually Byakuya-sama, could you stay? I mean…I would feel better if he wasn't alone? He's not to sure about the kids coming with me and he had another of his appointments today…He came home looking sad."

"I will just see if he needs anything." Byakuya agreed. He shut the door as she went and made his way through the strangely quiet house.

Ichigo laid in his bed, his thoughts were far away and he hadn't even heard Yuzu call up the stairs. So he hadn't registered the presence of Byakuya entering his room.

Ichigo's mind just kept returning to the session, regurgitating the things he said:

_Sosuke raped me. He raped me a lot. _

_Trapped there, with no one to tell me the difference between rape and love, _

_I just knew that sometimes I didn't like it and it hurt. _

Byakuya stepped to the side of the bed unsure if the closed eyes meant he was asleep.

_Aizen wanted something from me, no one else demands that I love them._

"Ichigo?" He said fairly quietly touching his shoulder.

"_**If I told you he was alive and outside that door now?" **_

Ichigo's eyes flew open, he leapt from the bed away from the touch and screamed.

"NO SOSUKE! DON'T MAKE ME GO!"

"Ichigo, it's me Byakuya." The Captain flash stepped around the bed towards man.

"Byakuya!" Ichigo bolted into his arms trembling, tears immediately flooding down his face and clinging to the western shirt Byakuya wore.

"I'm sorry Ichigo." Byakuya said regretting he had spooked him like that. He held his arms around him tightly and pressing his lips into his ear. "Aizen's gone. He's never coming back and he's never going to hurt you again. Your safe here." He stroked the ginger hair, rubbed his palms soothingly down his back and never waivered in his hold. "I'm here. Everything will be alright. I won't leave you." He placed a soft kiss onto Ichigo's cheek. "I love you, I won't ever leave you." That just seemed to make him cry harder and Byakuya rested his head against his. He retreated back to saying nothing, better that than upsetting him more. They stood locked together for what felt like a considerable time. Finally Ichigo tried to calm his crying, he leant more into the hold and slid his arms around the nobles waist. "I didn't mean to do that to you."

"It's my fault…my counselling today… he is dead isn't he?"

"No illusion. He is very dead." Byakuya continued to sooth his hair and hold Ichigo closely. "The counselling should help you, not make it worse."

"It makes me look at things I don't want to… like…" _If I say it will he still want me? Surely he knows about it anyway its so obvious isn't it? But if he doesn't and I've told him and he leaves me?_ Ichigo caught a lump in his throat and more tears began to fall.

"You don't have to tell me anything Ichigo." Byakuya brushed his hand down his cheek wiping the flood of tears.

"Sosuke raped me." He said the words as boldly as he could and it stung to say them aloud again. "He forced me to have sex, he would threaten the children or just take me by force… I didn't want it… I didn't want to have my children!" The admission was blurted out him with a pained tone and Byakuya wrapped his arms tighter around his shoulders. Nothing seemed to help now. Ichigo gave in fully to his tears and there was nothing that could be done to make him feel better, he just needed to release all the tears he'd been holding onto. Release his years of frustration, worry and torment. It hurt so much to realise the amount to which he had been manipulated and controlled. How much of his life lay in ruin for that one man. Ichigo pulled his head up to look into the moonlit eyes staring at him. "I don't love him…I never did…I just wanted to feel loved."

"And you are." Byakuya kissed his brow

"Love me, please love me." He wept and shook with his emotional request and Byakuya tightened his arms.

"You are so very loved Ichigo. So very special." Tender lips kissed his tears. "You should get some sleep now." Byakuya directed him towards the bed and laid him down.

"You'll stay again?" Huge wide scared eyes asked.

"I won't leave you Ichigo." He smiled taking the hand that reached out for him.

Byakuya slid off his clothes and slipped into the bed next to the fragile human he adored. He wrapped his arms around him again.

Ichigo's hands touched the beautiful face and kissed his lips softly. "I love you." He said his lips ghosting over Byakuya's too scared to say it aloud.

Byakuya pressed into the soft lips and held him as tight as he could. Ichigo slid his hands along the soft pure skin of Byakuya's side and opened his mouth. Their tongues rolled and danced against each other.

"Make love to me." Ichigo panted his wide lust filled eyes surprised the captain.

"Your already hurting."

"I don't want those memories anymore, I want memories of you."

Byakuya poured every single ounce of love he had into the strokes of his hands, the kisses on the once again tanned skin and whispers of happy ever afters. Ichigo writhed beneath him, moaning with the intensity of his second love.

Not once did his mind remember similar strokes and touches from his tormentor Aizen, his focus did not falter from the feeling that this new experience as more intense and real than anything he had ever felt before.

Long graceful fingers found that every inch of Ichigo's skin from the tips of his fingers to the firm abdominals and all down his legs and feet were highly sensitive and receptive. Even as his hair trailed down the wonderfully firm body, Ichigo arched into their silken tendrils moaning.

Ichigo locked his fingers into the dark locks of hair and cried out loudly as Byakuya's supple lips took him in his mouth. Anticipation was as intoxicating as the act itself.

He knew he would not last long enough, not like this, not with someone he loved touching him like this. Not with those hands still slinking over his chest and nipples.

Not with the feel of that long hair thrashing on his belly.

He gasped and held his breath as the intensity rose to boiling point and he flushed his fluids violently down Byakuya throat. Ichigo's chest snagged on the air being forcibly drawn in. His body shuddered as he calmed, his legs pulsed with tingling rushes of afterglow.

Byakuya leaned against the heaving chest and soothed Ichigo with soft kisses and a patience Ichigo had never been allowed before. Soon his face fell into a smile and he reached to the side of the bed pushing lube and a condom into Byakuya's hand.

"Prepared?" Byakuya chuckled.

"My dad." Ichigo grinned. "Don't get lost in a high son, here take this bumper pack of condoms." He said in an Isshin voice. "There's about another nine hundred and ninety nine of those." They both laughed. "We're going to need them until…"

"Until?"

"Until I'm ready to have another baby."

"We might need two bumper packs." Byakuya joked and Ichigo chuckled.


	18. Weekend Off

_Hello_ thinking

The Present in the Sixth Division Training Grounds…

The two men, Ichigo and Byakuya stepped into the large outdoor training area of the sixth Division. The sun was warm with the mid-summer heat glaring down on them already at only 9; it was going to be another scorching day. The few squad members on duty strolled around on their patrols. The higher seated members moved with purpose delivering and forwarding on the paperwork, shouting out younger subordinates who seemed to find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The residential barracks stood beside the training grounds its top floor towered above the outer walls of the rink and showed the odd squad member sprawling in the sunshine or shaking out the dust of their small rooms.

"I still don't know what I am doing here." Ichigo looked to Byakuya with total bemusement on his face. "What about my kids?"

"Ichigo, everything is taken care of." The emotionless face appeared its calm self, but the deep eyes bored into Ichigo and spoke a million things. His concern and care radiated from those smouldering eyes and the light touch on his upper arm accompanied by a soft rubbing seemed totally out of character for the Captain, but Ichigo nodded and let himself calm. His tense muscles dropped and a small smile even graced his scowling face.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because of the small amount of sleep you got last night, the dark circles under your eyes and the fear that I witnessed when I arrived to see you." Ichigo couldn't argue with any of that. He had pushed himself too far he knew. At least school was finished that in itself was a goal he had been looking forward too, but instead he was just worried about his results instead. The counselling certainly did seem to be far more mentally draining than he thought possible. Everything seemed too fresh and raw again.

"You are to be my guest for a couple of nights; the children will join us this evening."

"Taicho." Renji sauntered out from the division offices with a grin towards Ichigo.

"Ichigo, you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"A little spar between you and me?" Renji said pulling out Zabimaru. "It's been far too long since we've seen you fight."

A passing subordinate hesitated in his steppes and looked to the three men. _Fight?_ _Well this just needs the word going around Ichigo Kurosaki is fighting Renji!_

"Shake out the cobwebs." Byakuya said. _And realise you are not as helpless as Aizen wanted you to believe. _

Ichigo felt Zangetsu stir in his mind and his Hollow let out a chuckle. "You are sure about this?"

"Yeah. Don't hold back!" Renji posed ready.

"Don't hold back?" Ichigo questioned. "I don't fancy getting cut to ribbons Renji."

"Ichigo, Your Reimaku." Byakuya held out his hand for the bracelet and Ichigo sighed.

"You know this is going to flare like mad because I've been restraining it for a time?" Byakuya shrugged. Ichigo seemed reluctant but he clasped his hand around the bracelet and with a small burst of reiatsu the offending item slid off his wrist. The white flare seamed to appear from the floor in a vortex of blonde fire shooting up into the sky. The air become stifling and Renji stumbled back a pace.

"HOLY SHIT!" Renji felt his lungs constrict and beads of perspiration fall down his brow. Byakuya could not help the startled look that crossed his features and he was not surprised to glance and see two lower rank men fall to the floor. The top row of residential rooms saw Shinigami men holding onto the railings to keep upright.

A wave of energy that must have encompassed all of Seireitei exploded out from Ichigo like a nuclear mushroom. In the middle the young man stood eyes closed, fists clenched at his side with his hair and robes fluttering in the eye of the storm. Slowly his eyes opened and a confident smile crept on his face and Renji secretly wished for a bathroom break. What the hell had he got himself into?

Byakuya was more than satisfied by the flicker of terror in his fukutaichou before calmly walking away leaving the two men adjusting their stance on the gritty dirt floor.

The training grounds suddenly seemed to become the magnet centre of Seireitei as captains and lieutenants appeared over the training walls, squad members of the sixth clamoured for a view point in the top residential rooms and other ranks started to drip through the entrances until their was barely any space left to stand. Byakuya jumped to the roof of his office and stood beside Ukitake Jūshirō, Zaraki Kenpachi, & Shunsui Kyōraku.

"That power is astounding." Ukitake said mesmerised as Ichigo deflected Renji's first lash of his blade.

"The boy has grown in the years since we met him. Grown beyond what I thought possible." Shunsui whistled adjusting his hat. "Is that fair to leave your subordinate to that furious power?"

"He volunteered." Was the only comment Byakuya spoke.

"Let's hope Ichigo doesn't go Bankai then." Ukitake shook his head.

Renji was already panting as he called out Bankai. His ten minutes had been spent totally on the offensive, lashing out at the kid from all angles, using his speed to flash around him and surprise him, but none of it did any good. Ichigo was not so much as breaking out in a sweat and hadn't once broken his defensive moves. From the lad who had taken him on to save Rukia, he was unrecognisable.

Ichigo saw an opening and leapt into the air, avoiding the thrust of the demonic skull head crashing towards him and disappeared into the dust ball that enveloped the crash of bones into the floor. Renji stood bemused as that space ahead of him was clear. Where the hell did the kid go?

"Here." Ichigo said whispering in his ear.

"Shit!" Renji jolted and wondered why blood wasn't pouring out the place from Ichigo's sword jabbed his side. Ichigo laughed waving both hands and that a single finger had spooked Renji so much. "Where the hell is your sword?"

"I left it over there." Ichigo pointed to a wall at the far end of the arena.

"You mean you…" Shit that was quick, to avoid the attack, hide himself, get to the end of the rink, put down his sword and come up with a surprise attack.

"Are you done yet?"

"Stop playing around!" Renji shouted annoyed. "Are you trying to make me look stupid!"

"I think Renji, you have proved you are anything but." Byakuya was suddenly there.

"Get your sword Ichigo. You have two opponents now."

"Are you insane Taicho!" Renji looked to his captain as Ichigo walked to retrieve his sword.

"Together Abarai." The captain didn't mess around and pulled out his sword and held it ready to defend. Renji shook his head and coiled his sword around the pair of them as they stood side by side.

"He's drawn his sword already." Shunsui Kyōraku mused. "I don't think I've seen him do that before have you?" He looked to the amazed face of his long haired companion and shook his head. "No obviously not."

"Would they mind if I joined?" Zaraki laughed. "Now he's more than a match for me. That would be a good fight!" His loud deep laugh echoed around the arena giving a chilling tone to the events.

"You know I wasn't totally idol whilst I was captive." Ichigo began to slowly walk back towards the waiting opponents. "I learnt a few new tricks whilst I was gone and you know who my tutor was."

Renji saw the subtle hand gestures of his captain and both leapt at the same moment Renji left and Byakuya right. Ichigo disappeared from view and came up behind Byakuya mirroring his movement, who looked startled over his shoulder to see Ichigo there like a shadow. Renji, let out the howl of his blade to intercept and Ichigo again disappeared from view to find Renji defenceless still with his blade still stretched out towards his captain.

"Shit!" Renji tried to dodge, but the still wrapped sword cracked into his side.

"So quick I can't even see him move." Ukitake gasped as Renji sprawled on the floor fro the hit. "Surely even Byakuya can't keep up with him?"

Byakuya was there in a flash of speed, their blades clashed against each other and the two men darted around the arena appearing and disappearing in a flash of speed many could hardly comprehend. Finally Renji managed to separate them and came between them with Zabimaru at a full battle speed and force, Ichigo flew backwards his feet digging into the gravel to slow his movement. He shot a wave of kido in Renji's direction.

"Tokoyonokuni Tenrai Kusari!" He called and the crowd let out an appreciative cry as Renji was surround by gold chains from shoulders to ankles before becoming locked in place with hundreds of small, gold padlocks. Renji groaned and wriggled as he fell to the floor his sword releasing his Bankai.

"You bastard!"

"You just whacked me with that damn thing!" Ichigo said kicking the sealed sword.

"Like old times hey?" Shunsui chuckled at the banter below.

"Bankai! Bankai!" The squad began to shout and Ichigo looked at the spectators shouts.

"Ermm? This all the noise is it?" Yamamoto asked settling next to his longest standing captains.

"The boy has way surpassed anything we imagined."

"Level 60 Kido hey?" He chuckled at Renji still trapped and struggling. "It seems young man that the crowd want to see your Bankai and I must admit to being a bit curios myself. Kuchiki Taicho if you wouldn't mind?"

Byakuya gave a nod of his head in agreement and let his fingers drop his blade into the dusty ground. The row of tall blades rose and he stood prepared to release all his petals. "Ichigo." He nodded politely for his opponent to do likewise.

"Bankai." Ichigo said, the power billowed from him again shrouding him in red and white smoking flames that died down to reveal his long black robes and elegantly styled Zangetsu.

"Senkei." Byakuya's low tone spoke calmly and four blades from the rows shot towards Ichigo in a ball of razors from all directions. Ichigo stood feet firmly placed on the floor and one hand on his sword easily deflected the petal shaped blades as Byakuya directed them to attack and attack again.

"I would not waste your time Byakuya on anymore of that nonsense." Ichigo grinned as he stood tall without a single scratch on him.

"Oh?" The tall man with his ebony hair raised one eye brow. "Very well." He dropped his head. "Shūkei hakuteiken." The petals on every one of his of his blades exploded into a shimmering sight behind the noble man. Two white wings seemed to from behind him as all millions of blades condensed into one powerful thrusting blade.

Full power lusting for a win, both men lunged towards each other. Their eyes determined and centred on each other. The crowds held their breath, the spiritual pressure pounding on their every sense.

The two blades chattered with the electric charge of energy as they collided with each other. Moments slowed and their locked gazes were not one of fury or battle rage, a flicker of trust passed between them and discernable shift in their blades directions allowed each to pass the flesh of the other.

Full time speed and Byakuya stood at the opposite side of the rink to Ichigo. Yet again, his palm was empty. Ichigo had easily thwarted his strongest attack.

Senbonzakura groaned in his mind she would need time to heal.

_I am sorry_. He said to her internally.

_I am fine as you know. I think your plan may have a positive outcome Byakuya do not fret over me_. She replied.

"Byakuya. You done? I have another release yet." Ichigo's voice was light hearted and the man turned to face his chuckling foe.

"Ichigo. You are the victor. Yet again my blade is no match." He bowed humbly to the boy and Ichigo scratched the back of his head feeling slightly awkward at the implications of that.

"Nah. You know I never doubted that in a fight against any of you that I could win." He said walking closer and speaking just so Byakuya could hear. "I know you were probably trying to make me feel less vulnerable… There was only one person that I would have had a problem against and as you said he's dead… I've just been sorting my perspective on everything. But… thanks for the thought… for this." He offered Byakuya a hand and they shook.

"Your strength is truly menacing. Why do you keep on your bracelet?"

"My children are not going to become Hollow fodder." He shrugged.

"Hey can you let me out now?" Renji grumbled from his position on the floor. The arena erupted into cheers as Renji stood and Ichigo looked around surprised by the sound.

"See how you belong here." Byakuya said simply.

"Still… Too many people." Ichigo admitted. "And the noise."

"Running away won't make it any less, but staying and letting the novelty wear off my lessen it all. Relax, they are here because of their respect for you. Where as I have just let them all see I and my division can be beaten by an unseated Shinigami!"

Ichigo looked at the mans disgruntled face and laughed.

The Following Day…

It seemed weird that Byakuya had organised two nannies for the children, whom both held a twin each and they stood in his study looking at a weirdly smug looking noble.

"I was remembering the time the children saw the rain for the first time and I thought of this…" Byakuya pulled the large screen door open onto the garden.

"WOW!" Both Masaki and Tamotsu looked completely amazed by the vision of several inches of snow across the garden in mid-summer.

"It's snowing!" Ichigo laughed now clearly understanding why the kids had needed to get on gloves and boots.

"A little courtesy of the 10th." Byakuya smiled.

"Daddy can we touch it?" Masaki tugged at his coat sleeve.

"Yeah. Go ahead." He smiled widely as he saw them run out into the garden and try and catch the snow flakes. "Your garden looks beautiful in the snow."

"Shall we walk?"

"No!" Ichigo chuckled. "We have to make a snowman."

"A what?"

"Oh Byakuya you haven't lived!" Ichigo grabbed the perplexed looking man and dragged him outside. "Here help me make this into a large ball." He said squashing a tight snow ball and beginning to roll it on the ground; as if by a magic snow fairy their tracks were instantly covered retaining the beauty of the garden.

"Look at our footprints daddy!" Masaki called to him across the lawn.

"What doing daddy?" Tamotsu called.

"Making a snowman; come help us!" Ichigo called back huffing alongside Byakuya now the ball was getting quite large.

The twins watched from the side lines not wishing to move into the deep oppressive cold. Where as the four others seemed to be giggling and laughing as they pushed their huge ball of snow to the middle of the lawn. It was easily as tall as Tamotsu and he thought it hilarious to see his daddy and Byakuya struggling with a second almost as big ball as they lifted it to sit on the first.

"Going gray old man?" Ichigo chuckled at the dusting of snow on Byakuya's dark hair and reached up to flick it all off.

"You can talk!" Byakuya scoffed at Ichigo's own sprinkling as he swopped Masaki into the air to push the carrot they had just stolen from the kitchen into the snowman's face. A flash of a light made Byakuya frown and he looked around at Ichigo snapping a picture with his phone.

"You two looked so gorgeous!" He chuckled. "Couldn't resist it."

The twins clearly thought the men were mad as they were encouraged to push stones in for a mouth and Tamotsu finished it with the two eyes.

"He needs a scarf like us!" Masaki called out.

"Here; a lone." Byakuya unwound his soft green scarf from his neck and reached to place it around the snow man.

"It's a snowdaddy!" Tamotsu giggled.

"What now?" Byakuya looked to Ichigo his face flushed from the exertion and the cold.

"Boys against girls." Ichigo swished Masaki into his arms as he ran across the lawn his snow missile timed perfectly to catch Byakuya on the shoulder just as he dived behind a snow covered bush.

"Ichigo Kurosaki!" Byakuya growled.

"Snow ball fight!" Ichigo yelled throwing another and laughing as Masaki joined in.

Several balls later and a very wet Byakuya, captured an escaping Ichigo around the waist and tackled him to the floor in a very ungraceful rugby tackle.

"You hit me!" Byakuya was clearly not getting the point of a snowball fight and his miffed expression just made Ichigo laugh louder.

"You were meant to throw some back!"

"What is the point of that?"

"Fun!" Ichigo continued to laugh at him and Byakuya tutted. "Oh man I thought I was the one who needed to loosen up a bit!" He said softer and reach to smudge a melting piece of snow from the adorable mans pouting face. Byakuya caught the hand and held it against his cheek. The fingers were painfully cold and he put his lips to the palm kissing it softly. "You caught me." Ichigo said, his voice suddenly husky and his eyes full of need.

"I did." Byakuya let the hand go.

"You going to get off me now?"

"No." Byakuya responded and bent down to softly place his lips on Ichigo's. "Never." He whispered back.

"Are you our new daddy?" Masaki's loud voice entered their space and the two men looked seriously at each other.

"Yes." Ichigo replied softly.

"I got a new daddy, I got a new daddy!" She moved away dancing in the snow and laughing. Clearly she didn't seem to mind.

"Do you really mean that?" Byakuya asked him surprised. Ichigo responded with a smile and nod of his head. His eyes were watering yet he looked really happy. "Ichigo?"

"It's been a crazy two days Byakuya, I don't wanna go home."

"And here I was thinking that you arrived just there two days ago." He bent and kissed his love again. "Don't promise what you're not ready for."

"Here." Ichigo lifted his neck up and yanked a gold chain from his neck. "I want you to get rid of this, I don't need it anymore." Byakuya took the necklace in his hands and stared at the youth. "A gift from Sosuke." Byakuya nodded and threw it across the garden into the depth of the undergrowth. "It's you I want to be with."

"I love you all; you especially."

"They love you too…and I love you." Ichigo whispered. Byakuya was surprised and overjoyed at the admission and he smiled widely and bent to kiss him yet again.

"But.." Ichigo interrupted him. "One condition."

"Name it." Byakuya readied himself to give some confirmation of undying and relentless love for the kid.

"Can I get up I'm soaked." He grinned. Byakuya shook his head and laughed.

The Kuchiki Leaders Bedroom at a Very Early Hour of the Morning the Day After the Snow…

"How come you always look so severe all the time?" Ichigo wished he could phrase that better and he looked into the wide eyes of the Captain who held an arm around his naked shoulder.

"I look severe now?"

"You know you do, when your working and that…you just look angry all the time. I mean I know that my brain is…"

"We all deal with the life we are thrown into in different ways." Byakuya answered too quietly for Ichigo, he had upset the man. As if confirming that conclusion, Byakuya pulled his arm from underneath the young man and pulled on a pair of loose training pants.

"Byakuya?"

"Come, get dressed." The solemn face of the noble spoke.

They walked hands linked as the dawn broke and the first rays of orange glow blanketed the garden.

"I haven't been to this part of the garden before." Ichigo said as they headed towards a grand wooden gate.

"I visit each week." The man said lifting the bag of things he had brought. "It is expected of me, yet I do it gladly anyway." He pushed the gate open freeing Ichigo's hand for a moment and them clasping it again as they stepped into the new garden. Ichigo looked around as the vast stone memorial graves. He followed Byakuya to a fine stone building in the middle of the garden. "This is where I shall rest one day awaiting my time to be reborn. All heads of the clan are laid here when their time comes."

He paused at the heavy wooden doors and looked to Ichigo as he spoke one hand resting against the ancient wood as if searching for the souls inside. "And their spouses…" Ichigo watched the man and the grey eyes deep of old emotions he had got used to feeling and no longer suffered from. Emotions that could flit over his face in a brief memory and be comfortable to push back forgotten again until the following week. "…My mother was laid here after my birth. I have no longing void left by her as you do, we had no time together other than when I was safe within her. My father went a few years later, lost without her and not wanting the memories my life gave him. Then my grandfather…he who was the only parent I can recall and who trained and allowed me to become his fukutaichou. When he passed away some fifty years later like all the Leaders of our clan, I took his place as the 6th Captain. The only person not to be laid here against my wishes, is Hisana. But I was not in a mind to object at the time…"

He looked wistfully at the doors and pulled his hand back. "In a life as long as mine, you see a great many people die Ichigo. You see a great many failures and feel too many frustrations…" He let out a sigh and looked back to the curious orange haired man watching him intently. "You spend too long alone." He shook his head and corrected his last sentence. "I spent too long alone. I have been angry and hurt. Hated myself and my actions. Wished I could have been anyone but who I am…it may have some advantages, but the burdens are burdens none the less. Only with my grandfather did I ever get a life where there were no…walls between us. Until you there is always a distance with everyone else. No one can get close, they see my position as something they cannot breach and when I tried myself…like with Hisana…I failed that too…she didn't love me as I would have wished, she was too grieved for her actions towards Rukia. Her last words were for Rukia not for me…It was easier to pretend that the distance was because I created it, I was a tyrant that people did not have to try and get close to. They avoid me and fear me and that stops me getting hurt again…But…"

"You let me in."

"From the moment you wanted to fight over Rukia and told me that some rules were worth breaking, I knew that you were dangerous to me…knew that you had the potential to hurt me; friends, lovers or foes, I was going to be hurt."

"So you pushed me away?"

"And avoided the fact that I was attracted to you until I watched you kill Aizen. The pain I saw in you…I saw in myself. The pain that didn't go away when you were gone, it got worse without you. The loneliness felt stronger and the desire to be with you got stronger. It sounds selfish and I have been accused of being selfish so many times in my life, but I was brought up that way. A lord has what he wants and I wanted you. I don't know that I ever want to stop wanting you."

There was so much need and longing in the mans whole demeanour all screaming for comfort and reassurance it was quite out of character for the stoic man everyone knew. But Ichigo realised that this is the man that no one knew.

"We are two broken souls and each the medicine for the other?"

Ichigo let a small smile creep onto his face and his warm understanding eyes reassured Byakuya that there would be no intentional pain in this relationship. Neither wanted that. They leaned in and let their soft lips press lightly together. "So, lets do the offerings." He pulled away and took the bag from the pale hand and waited for Byakuya to open the door with a hard push.

Once the offerings were freshened both men stepped out to a glorious bright sunshine. It was still very early and Byakuya didn't feel ready to step back into his shoes of authority just yet.

"When I was a child, my grandfather gave me the spanking of my life, for climbing this shrine." He smiled at the memory and laughed lightly. "But it is the highest point in the grounds and the view is breathtaking." The hint of longing looked in his eyes as he peered up to the tiled roof and Ichigo smiled at him.

"You can spank yourself later if you like." Ichigo nudged him and Byakuya laughed. One look of total mischievousness and the Kuchiki lord was on top of the monument and surveying all he owned.

With a single bound, Ichigo stood next to Byakuya questions pouring through his mind. "So how do you get over losing people you love?"

"Do you get over it or used to it?" The man shrugged taking his eyes from the many beautiful trees in their verdant green plumage and the various servants making their way towards the main house to start their day's chores. "Life goes on and we have no choice but to continue. I closed my mind and shut everything out, there was nothing else to do, and I did not have anyone to rely on." Byakuya seemed to much stronger than Ichigo had been during his ordeal he thought as he leaned into the taller man and let the welcome arms fall around him. "Maybe it is the fault of my upbringing?"

"Maybe I am the fault of mine too." Ichigo shrugged.

"Or lack of." Byakuya replied and Ichigo looked at him surprised at the dig at his father. "I mean in comparison to mine, yours was just a brief few years and you were taken whilst you were still effectively a child. I have the advantage of a couple of hundred years to grow up in before I faced the wide world alone and then that was with my family behind me protecting and cosseting me…I did not witness them dying in pain as you did with your mother."

"I blamed myself for her death." Byakuya was not surprised by that admission. "In truth that damn Hollow had sensed my reiatsu. My dad never blamed me; he said why would he when she gave her life to save me? Now I've got kids I understand it better, I'd do anything to keep them safe… I have done anything to keep them safe." The arms around him held him tighter; it was an instinctive behaviour to protect Ichigo.

"So in answer to your earlier question, I guess I was angry all the time."

"You were hiding behind it." Ichigo concluded.

"I didn't need to hide Ichigo. I had no one to please and so why bother."


	19. Chuckles

_Hello_ thinking

The First Division…

Chōjirō Sasakibe looked up from his desk at the sound of the sotaicho's door closing, and looked with mild amusement at the stunned face of the ginger haired man standing there. The usual tanned face looked pale and in a state of shock.

"Would you like a seat?" He asked. Ichigo shook his head and walked from the division his mind whirling around in confusion.

The Present...The 6th Division…

The pale looking man walked into the office area and Renji looked up at his friend.

"Hey! How's ya?" He frowned. "Na I can see, ya look like shit."

"Byakuya in?"

"Yup." He said standing and knocking on the door.

"Tell him to come in." Byakuya didn't need to be told who was there, but he glanced up and dropped his brush quickly rushing to Ichigo. "Ichigo what is it?"

"Sake." Ichigo murmured.

"You're drunk?"

"Need some." Renji chuckled behind them and like a true friend grabbed his bottle from his desk trying to ignore the flash of annoyance from his captain. So now he knew Renji enjoyed a tipple as he worked, and if it kept him at his desk was that a bad thing? The other side effect was that if Rangiku arrived, he could push it into her hand and she'd leave happy her supplies were refreshed, leaving his captain undisturbed.

The fluid rushed into his stomach and he looked up at Byakuya's concerned face. He lifted a white cloak he had been clutching and the dark haired man took it and opened it out to see Aizen's Division clearly flashed on the back.

"Why his?" Ichigo sat numb still. "Of all the places…his!"

"Are you not pleased to be a captain?"

"His!" Ichigo snapped. "I get to mop up all his shit! Live in that damn house that was his and sit in HIS office!"

"I think you'll find that it was all cleared out for Momo's sake…by all accounts the division needs a strong leader Ichigo and you seem to be the only one who ever got through to the girl."

"You knew about all of this?"

"I wondered. It is all logical."

"Did you set me up with that fight?"

"No. I had no idea we would draw _that_ much attention. Yamamoto does not usually make an appearance. But we did have enough captains watching your Bankai I guess for it to be considered a valid test. Congratulations."

Several Years in The Future in the Kurosaki Clinic…

The odd family settled together at the dining table falling easily into their places from the years of practice. The place looked the same as ever and Ichigo felt comfortable here he sat quietly listening to the banter of the twins now four with his father who they strangely found quite amusing. Byakuya as usual had Masaki on his lap, even though at eight she was getting to big for that. But his lovers fingers were laced into his on her lap again a normal thing they seemed to do. Tamotsu was enthusing over his football practice from Uncle Shiro and Karin was keen to clean up the remnants of plates to get him outside and kick a ball around with him.

Ichigo smiled at the twins laughter as Goat face true to his name began to make all manner of weird animal sounds and faces. He laid his head on Byakuya's shoulder and was rewarded with smile from his fairer sister.

"You look tired." She said collecting his half eaten plate.

"Headache." He sighed.

"Your on the homeward stretch now." Yuzu said walking away to the kitchen watching Ichigo rubbed the eight month belly with a smile.

"For the last time too thank Kami." He had found this pregnancy so different from his others. He'd hardly been sick, not realising he was pregnant until well into the fourth month, so it hadn't dragged on, but an over enthusiastic Byakuya had gone on over drive with his TLC seeing as he knew they'd been drinking sake all too often, sparring and having way too many late nights and early rises with their work. Lord alone knows how many missions and Hollows Ichigo fought when he should have been pulled from active service. Still when Ichigo meant last he meant last. He had already talked to Unohana about surgery to revert him back to normal once the baby had stopped breast feeding and as yet his only obstacle had been the family elders who wanted to guarantee a live birth and healthy child first; their condition of blessing on the relationship.

"You haven't had a rest yet." Byakuya looked at Ichigo with an encouraging smile. "There's enough of us here to watch the children."

"Your old room…" Isshin began to speak.

"I'd rather walk on hot coals that sleep in there." Ichigo interjected quickly his hands stiffened in Byakuya's grip and the noble. "Whether is a totally rebuilt room or not dad, I'm not going in there."

"Its nothing like your old room you know. Dad spent hours decorating it for you for when you come to stay." Yuzu had been so proud of her dad and his determination to make everything right and to see him now looking a little offended that Ichigo wouldn't even look.

Ichigo seemed to still, when suggested by Byakuya that he should at least look. He knew it was an issue left over from Aizen and his inborn fear at punishment for not doing as he was told, but he couldn't help it. He had to admit, even though he was clinging tightly to Byakuya's arm as he stood beside him, his memory all to ready to shove images of that first ever visit his tormentor paid him.

"You seem to have done an excellent job." Byakuya's praise came with the usual tone and gaze, but Isshin knew how rare it was to receive anything complimentary from the man so he wasn't complaining. He looked pleased with his work at the pale sage walls, cream curtains and bedding on the new double bed. A silver plasma adorned the large wall and Rukia's old closet was now demonstrating two oak doors that matched the side cabinets. It was simple, modern and very different.

"Come on try my wonderful new bed. It only arrived yesterday." Isshin bounced on the side of the bed.

"You'll make me seasick jumping around like that!" Ichigo complained as his father bounced all the higher for Ichigo sitting next to him.

Back in the Re-built Bedroom…

Ichigo woke with a groan, the baby had shifted up towards his ribs and was defiantly resting his head on a huge bundle of nerves just under his diaphragm. He put his hand on the bulge and pushed the lump quite hard down.

"Hey, shift your nut." He grumbled before rolling to sit and swing his legs off the bed. That headache didn't seem to have shifted and he sat a moment sighing as he ran his hands through his hair. He couldn't have slept long as he certainly didn't feel any better and to top it, Byakuya had not stayed with him. Although he knew the man hadn't promised to sit with him, it would have helped him to sleep longer that was for sure.

Byakuya stood at the patio doors watching Ichigo's family play football, girls against boys, which seemed to give Isshin a disadvantage as the twins had as much idea about the rules as Byakuya did. Kicking the ball into your own goal he was sure was not the idea. He smiled as Isshin pretended to throw Iruki over the wall if he did it again leaving both twins laughing in hysterics as he hoisted them under his arms and counted down as if he was about to throw them for real. They squealed loudly as he counted to three and gave them a large swing as if he was about to let go.

"Oi." Ichigo's voice came from behind him and Byakuya turned to see his sleepy looking lover enter the room.

"That most certainly was not long enough."

"Nah. I think I just want my own bed." He said coming close and wrapping his arms around the nobles waist and laying his head on the mans shoulder.

"You alright?" Byakuya asked his questioning eyes looking at Ichigo's realising he didn't appear to be quite right. But before he could answer there was a roar of the winning team outside and the girls pounced through the doors shouting their victory.

"We are the champions!" Karin called loudly waving Masaki's arms in the air. "Oi Ichigo, she's got a good kick."

"I'm not playing with you two again!" Tamotsu grumbled as he came in snarling at the twins who didn't seem to care, win or loose they'd enjoyed themselves.

"I guess it's time for celebration ice-cream!" Isshin proceeded into the kitchen and threw out half the contents of the freezer whilst looking for the ice-cream tub as Yuzu found out the bowls and a punnet of strawberries.

Karin sat the children at the table and looked around for Masaki who seemed to be missing from her head count.

"Daddy?" The child had her hand on Ichigo's stomach and was looking up at him. Byakuya was also looking at Ichigo. What was going on? Karin wondered.

"Ichigo?" Byakuya asked him again.

"Can we go home now?" Ichigo asked looking back, but frowning.

"Why?"

"I just want to go." It sounded vague in the tone he used and Byakuya turned to hold his hands and asked him why again.

"Dad?" Karin wandered the few steps towards her father, her concerned eyes staying on the look on Byakuya and Masaki's face.

"What is it my darling daughter? Are we not getting pudding quick enough?"

"I think you should have a look at Ichigo." She said watching as Byakuya sat him down still waiting for his answer. Isshin looked towards the couple and frowned himself.

"Ichigo, chocolate or strawberry sauce on your ice-cream?" Isshin bounded over his usual exuberant self.

"No thanks Dad…I…Should I be seeing these white spots?"

"Spots hey? I didn't think I'd spilt that much dinner on my shirt!" He laughed kneeling down in front of him. "That'd be enough to make your headache come back I bet!"

"It never went away."

"I bet you Byakuya you'd love a picture of your baby? I could whip you both off a picture on the ultrasound in the clinic? I daresay its wriggling around like mad all day long."

"Its actually a been really quite for a couple of days." Ichigo replied and Isshin smiled.

"Picture it is then!" He beamed and took his son's elbow and stood him up. "Come on dad, I bet your desperate to know if this is another boy hey! Girls, make sure the kids get a double helping of ice-cream and save me some too hey!" He boomed cheerfully leading Ichigo away towards the hallway. Byakuya bent and kissed Masaki on the cheek.

"Look after your brothers, we won't be a minute." He looked at her knowing face, she always seemed so astute to Ichigo's moods. "I'll bring you back a picture." He gave her a reassuring smile and followed the father and son who had by now entered the clinic.

Back in Isshin's Surgery…

Isshin looked up from setting up the ultrasound at Byakuya as he entered the doctors office.

"Where is Ichigo?"

"Getting me a urine sample." The serious Isshin spoke back.

"Is this you know…is this a problem?" Isshin shrugged.

"If it is, if it isn't Byakuya, we need to keep him calm. Everything can be dealt with and in the end you will have beautiful healthy child, so I don't want you to worry unduly either okay?" He gave the man his own version of a reassuring smile. "If you stand to left of this bed, you'll get a good look at the screen."

"You can really see the baby with that?" The charcoal eyes watched Ichigo enter the room and sit on the bed beside him, passing his father a small pot of yellow wee.

"Yep. Quite amazing bit of technology." He smiled removing the lid of the pot and dabbing some litmus paper into the fluid. "Layback then Ichigo and lift your t-shirt."

As the cold gel hit his stomach, Ichigo raised his hand and grabbed onto Byakuya's with a tight grip. Byakuya unconsciously let a gasp fall from his lips as he saw his child appear on the screen.

"There is the heart beating away…" Isshin pointed to the picture detailing all the organs and smiling at the awed expression showing on the usually stoic captains face. "And this is a picture for you." He tore off the black and white image and handed it to Byakuya.

"That's just…incredible." Byakuya smiled at Ichigo.

"Do you want to know the gender?"

"It'll be a boy." He felt his fathers careful hands wipe the gel from his stomach.

"Then you won't be disappointed."

"Its not possible for me to have girls."

"Says who? I think you'll find that it's the father that influences that factor, not the mother."

"But…"

"You were lied to Ichigo." Isshin said placing the arm band of the blood pressure monitor around his arm. "Tell me how did all your other pregnancies end? Did you go to term?"

"They made me stay in bed for the last two months. It seemed a waste of time I always felt fine. I didn't really have any idea of time dad, everyday was the same, there were no calendar's or weekly countdowns." He watched his father note down the reading.

"Well, some things can make you feel fine until the damage is done." He turned back to Ichigo and did something he never did on his human clients. Ichigo and Byakuya watched the green glow build from his palms and he passed it over the protruding stomach and looked thoughtful a moment.

"So?"

"Spots in your vision, headache, high blood pressure, proteins in your urine are not good. This little chap…" He patted the stomach. "His heart rate is down and before it goes any lower, he really needs to come out."

"Already? Four weeks early?" Byakuya felt Ichigo's palms sweat in his hand his grip tightened and he understood the early prompt about keeping Ichigo calm. But Ichigo's concern sounded anything but calm. "You mean operate?"

"Its called a caesarean or a c-section. Quite a simple and almost normal thing to do these days."

"Except I'm not a woman, you can't do it here and I'm a long way from home."

"I'd have to call Ryuuken."

"Do it." Byakuya said causing Ichigo to look around at him.

"You don't even understand what this is all about."

"I do not need to. Your father would only suggest the best option."

"Is there no other way dad?"

"Trust me Ichigo." How could Ichigo not trust his own father. He looked back to Byakuya and his contained concern then dropped his head closed his eyes on his fear giving a nod of consent as he did. "Think of it as within 45 minutes, you'll have your son in your arms." Isshin said reaching for his phone. "Ryuuken? My son has pre-eclampsia… I sort of thought I'd have to use some form of blackmail… it would be appreciated thank you."

There was definitely an air of calm terror in the couple, both trying to hide the fact that they were being led blind down a road they had not at all expected or wanted to go down. An ambulance had collected the three of them driven by two surprised drivers who had never seen a tumour _that_ big before, it was no wonder the terrified kid was being diverted to the main hospital. Byakuya had sat with him all the way, holding his hand, neither saying anything.

The Quincy was there to greet them and helped to push the bed onto the top floor towards the quieter operating theatres kept for the private patients who paid for a better standard of care.

"Right Ichigo, you'll feel a small prick and that's all." Ryuuken said from behind him as Ichigo was sitting upright, bent as far forward as his belly would let him go, his white knuckle grip on Byakuya's hands the only sign of his nerves. The epidural needle pressed between his vertebrae and slowly a minute or two later, he felt the strange absence of any feeling in his lower body.

With the screen over his chest, Ichigo felt a strange detachment from everything yet the tugging going on inside him seemed strangely connected. It was just a weird event. Weird, scary, terrifying and all too sudden. Helped at least this time, by the fact that the father was sitting here right next to him sharing the worry and whispering everything he could think of that would help Ichigo keep calm and allay his own feelings.

Ryuuken and Isshin worked alone, hardly speaking until the sounds of a wail and the upside down child made its irritation known that this was rather a rude awakening from his peaceful sleep.

Isshin laughed loudly at the healthy lungs and wrapped the infant in a blanket, happily realising the Apgar score showed a healthy little might.

"Welcome to the mad world little one." He said lifting the boy up and looking over at the wide eyes of its parents. "Here. Come meet some really nice people I know." He laid the child on Ichigo's chest and patted Byakuya on the back. "Congratulations."

Byakuya was stunned by the mop of dark black hair and stared open mouthed with tears welling in his eyes. This was just a miracle, he had a child. A real child. One of his own. He was a real father. "Ichigo, I love you." He smiled and leaned in to kiss his partner and child. "Thank you." He leant his head against Ichigo's unable to stop the tears from falling now. It was the most powerful rush of feelings he had ever experienced.

The Kuchiki Mansion...

"Is that normal?" Byakuya couldn't hide the worried hint in his voice at the snuffly sound coming from the feeding baby. Ichigo now home and resting in their bed, smiled warmly at his lover and shook his head at him. "What?"

"Are you going to be like this all the time? He is fine. Go to work your late already."

"I might work at home."

"No way. Look you have already got two nannies and a whole house of servants at my beck-and-call. You are just getting irritating now."

"Irritating?"

"Yes! You ask me every five minutes if everything is okay, normal and if I'm alright. Your just in my face the whole time. Go to work do something normal and give me some peace. If you need even more distraction go and check on my division."

"If that is your wish." Byakuya nodded and turned to leave.

"Oi!" Ichigo said with affront. The noble stopped and turned.

"I thought you wanted me to leave?"

"Without saying goodbye?" Ichigo tutted.

"Really Ichigo, I do not understand you at times."

"Understand this then. You don't go and leave me without saying goodbye and giving me a kiss first right!" He tried to look angry but it didn't work and he had to laugh as Byakuya strode back across the room.

"Who is irritating who now?" Byakuya said kneeling to kiss his red haired lover.

"Kiss right here." Ichigo tapped his lips. The noble obeyed and then kissed his son's head. "That's better. You can go now. Don't fall asleep at your desk will you."

...

"Taicho?" Renji stepped warily into the office and shook his captains shoulder. The man woke with a start and looked momentarily confused. "The captains meeting?"

"Oh…Fine." He sat up straight and composed himself.

"Baby keeping you awake?"

"You could say that. They seem to make an inordinate amount of noise for their tiny size." He replied standing and smoothing his uniform. Renji stifled a laugh as his superior officer left the room.

These meeting were dull and all the two rows of captains listened to another droning lecture from the sotaicho. Ukitake smiled to himself as he noticed that more than the usual suspects of Zaraki and his friend Shunsui had fallen asleep on their feet. At the sound of a rather loud sigh brought the meeting to the attention that the usual alert and upright noble was dosing, Ukitake nudged his neighbour who jolted awake and closed his eyes momentarily in a silent groan at being caught twice in the same day.

"It seems that my speech is rather taxing on your energies Kuchiki Taicho?" Even the harsh sōtaichō showed amusement in his voice.

"I apologise." Byakuya wished a hole would open up and swallow him as all the captains looked at him.

"I am sure that it would be more interesting had you not had a house full of children keeping you awake?"

"Babies can be noisy troublesome things." Shunsui smiled. "You shouldn't have rushed back Byakuya."

"It seemed that I was getting in the way." He said and wondered at the eruption of laughter around him.

* * *

There you go all in order now and awaiting a sequel!

Thanks more than heaps for all your kind words! Love to you all!


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